She’s abused no more

This morning I received this from a woman named Barb (who is happy to share it [along with her first name]):

Dear John,

I want to thank you for your book Seven Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships. After thirty years of marriage to a man abusive on every level, I walked away eight months ago. Within two weeks I came across your book and it has kept me from going back to a potentially deadly situation. I read Seven Reasons every day for several weeks. When I felt like going back to him, I just read it to remind myself of why I wasn’t going to.

What made it hard to leave before was the spiritual abuse and power he held over me. Being in ministry since we met, I stayed for the “sake of the Gospel.” (How backwards is that?)

Your “rabid dog” phrase* kept me grounded. You made me laugh, made me cry, but mostly, made me think about myself for once. You nailed it! The divorce is almost final, and God has provided me with a car, a home, a job that I love and yes … I am happy having my own life for once: my own food in the refrigerator, my own TV shows, my own place to sit and have coffee—all exactly like you said it would be. It is freeing and glorious! (And after some adjusting, my adult children are really truly happy for me).

I just had to write and say thank you for playing a huge role in saving me. God bless you! EVERY women’s shelter should be equipped with this book.

Kindle edition of Seven Reasons

NookBook edition of Seven Reasons

Learn more about Seven Reasons

* ” …  . If you’re a woman in an abusive relationship who recognizes these thought patterns as your own, think this: Rabid. Dog.

A rabid dog can be just as loving, cuddly and respectful as any other dog. But then suddenly he literally snaps, and goes crazy violent. Then he calms down again, and becomes just as sweet as can be. Until he has another attack.

An abusive man has psychological rabies. He has a disease. It’s a curable one—but it is a disease. …”

My novel approach (and … update thing re: comments)
10 Tips for Becoming an Amazaballs Husband
Goodbye, family that takes my brother’s side, despite what he did to me
10 Tips for Becoming an Amazaballs Husband
About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • Sarah Moon

    love this! :)

  • Lyn

    This would be an excellent book to have in women’s shelters and church libraries, but that would involve there existing a dead trees edition.

  • cat rennolds

    John? Thanks. On behalf of my sisters.

    You guys? This is what happens when God calls….and you pick up on your end. Sure, John’s special…because he picked up. Moses stuttered.

  • John Shore

    You know, I haven’t made a softcover printed edition because the book is quite short; it’s only about 12,000 words long. (A typical trade paperback—which this would be—is usually about 45,000 words long.)

    But the truth is that since I published “Seven Reasons” as an e-book I’ve done quite a bit more writing on this issue. Maybe it’s time I combined that new material with “Seven” as it is now, re-published the e-book, and also made available a printed soft copy.

  • cat rennolds

    Yah. soonish. this is the kind of thing should be in motel rooms next to Gideon.

  • Aaron Brett via Facebook

    Awesome – thanks lord !!!

  • Deb Quilty via Facebook

    Reason #1: The Challenge of Having to Create a New Self Image
    Reason #2: Fear of the Unknown
    Reason #3: Fear of Embarrassment
    Reason #4: Replaying Your Family’s Old Tapes
    Reason #5: You Love the Lovable In Him
    Reason #6: How Could He Be So Different From You?
    Reason #7: He Lies

  • Diana A.


  • Diana A.

    Indeed, it should!

  • sdgalloway

    There are those of us who haven’t upgraded to the digital age when it comes to our reading material…ok I don’t have a Kindle yet (wimper!)

    So for people like myself who found the original blog post which ultimately led to the e-book, and who would like to share said book with others, or read it herself…well you get the point.

  • Sensible Seamstress

    I vote for the soft copy. Please. Would love to pass it out.

  • Andie

    Yes, that would be wonderful!

  • Lyn

    That would be awesome, John!