Sure, you can be Orlando too

Sunday, June 12, 2016 dawned for us like most other seemingly boring days in our life – waking to smiling eyes and a gentle kiss, sipping a cup of coffee while reading an early morning devotional, taking a long walk with the pups and getting ready for a ridiculously hot day of our homosexual lifestyle – summer yard work in Florida.

But before I laced up my work boots, I checked Facebook.

Orlando.

In the hours and days following the deadliest mass shooting in America, I’ve thrashed around with so many thoughts and feelings. I have been like rusty old lawn sprinkling gone mad, soaking everyone near me with tears of despair and misdirected rage.

It seems some folks can’t quite figure out why this should hurt lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people more profoundly than others. My cynical side says that this lack of understanding is willful blinders to the particular nature of this hate crime. That for some, to claim it was a hate crime against LGBT people would mean having to admit that our society is still a very dangerous place for queer folks and maybe, just maybe those who are not part of the solution could be part of the problem. I can’t quite figure out how they don’t see that, of course I feel it deeper because it was a murderous rampage that slaughtering humans because of how God created them to love. Yes, it is a human tragedy, but it is a very particular human tragedy that reminded me all how deep is the fear and loathing for a core aspect of my very humanity.

We are Orlando signs and memes have popped up everywhere! I really want to believe that what we are seeing is a paradigm shift – a radical gift of empathy.

Maybe, just maybe, more people can finally see their queer neighbors as siblings, equally human and sacred as themselves. Maybe they understand the depth of our connections and that their humanity is directly tied to our humanity. Maybe when straight, cisgender people say We Are Orlando, what they really, really mean is that:

When you hate anyone, you actually hate me, yourself and all of creation.
When you diminish anyone’s humanity, you diminish me, yourself and all of  us.
When you oppress anyone, everyone is enslaved to this oppressive reality.
When violence is done to one, violence is done to everyone everyone, everyone.

Sure, you can be Orlando too.

But, can you also be the young teenage just starting to understand that you are attracted to someone of the same gender?

Can you see yourself praying ceaselessly for God to change you?

Can you feel the despair when God does not answer your prayers?

Can you see the eyes of your first love and then feel the wave of nauseating fear as you come out to your family? Can you see the fear, pain and anger on their faces?

Can you hear the hateful words spew from their mouths?

Can you see yourself sitting alone at lunch to avoid being bullied by your classmates?

Can see yourself cautiously scanning the room before you hold hands with your beloved?

Can you see your eyes adjust to the darkness as you step into a gay club for the first time, nervous but excited to be somewhere safe for the first time since you came out?

Can you feel your heart swirl with love as you find your person – and then break again when your family refuses to meet her?

Can you feel your breaking shatter as your family rejects your invitation to your wedding?

Can you see yourself weeping as you watch another preacher calling for your death?

Can you see yourself fighting to survive another day on the streets like one of the thousands of homeless LGBT youth who have been abused and rejected by their families?

Can you see  yourself recovering in a hospital bed as one of the 1,000+ LGBT survivors of violence in 2015?

Can you see yourself texting your mom as the shooter bent on killing gay people comes through your door?

Maybe you really can. Maybe we are turning the corner that I have been dreaming of for so long. Maybe you really do see that we are all connected and that my suffering is your suffering because we are family.

And hey, the simplest of Christian teachings helps remind us of our interconnectedness. Actually just two words from Jesus remind us – Our father…

With this simple phrase Jesus radically shifted the image of our relationship to God and one another. God from tyrant king to loving parent, we as siblings.

Our Father in heaven, [parent of us all]
hallowed be your name. [we call on your holy name]
Your kingdom come. [a realm of peace, grace and justice]
Your will be done, [made know to us by the life, ministry, murder and resurrection of Jesus]
on earth as it is in heaven. [here, in this world, not the next]
Give us this day our daily bread. [what we need to thrive here and now]
And forgive us our debts, [for all the ways we deny your light in others]
as we also have forgiven our debtors. [those who have tried to deny your light in us]
And do not bring us to the time of trial,  [free us from our hatred]
but rescue us from the evil one. [who turns us violently against one another, and thus you.]

So, if you want to be Orlando, please find the courage to search yourself to see if your silence, “neutrality” or active participation in the culture of marginalization contributes to emboldening hateful people to kill your lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender siblings. Listen, really listen to the lives of your neighbors and join us in speaking truth to power, loving boldly, bearing peace and seeking justice. The truth may be hard for some to hear, our love may be uncomfortable to witness, peace may be hard to fathom and justice may be hard to win but silence, invisibility, hatred and defeat are not options and we will not be terrorized back into any closet.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” Desmond Tutu

A couple of other recommended readings…

For a brilliant, faithful look at the flip side of claiming that we are all Orlando, please read this by Miguel de la Torre over at Baptist News Global (yes, Baptist)

We Are All Omar Mateen

Here are some’s spot-on advice from Chris Boeskool about what Christians can do right now to change.

Before We Forget About Orlando, Here Are 4 Ways Christians Need To Change