Are Christians Just Mean People?

Not long ago people just thought Christians were stupid. Now they think we are mean.

This new objection requires a new response. Gilson says, “No longer is it sufficient just to defend the truth that Jesus is the only way to God. We must also demonstrate that believing that doesn’t make one a bad person.”(3) A generation ago we could get away with lining up Christian intellectuals to present evidence for the truth. Today we must prove our own love, care, and authenticity and connect it to God’s endless affection for us. Our responses cannot simply be intellectually coherent. They must also be emotionally compelling.

Exclusive Love

The couple on my couch wanted to hash out their marriage troubles. Unsure what was going on, I prayed for them and asked how I could help.

The wife loved her husband. On the job, he was a hard worker and at home a good father. But she admitted she found him stifling. She wanted to stick together and thought they could work out their differences. She was likeable and reasonable. The husband said he was embarrassed they needed to meet with me and wished his wife would just change her mind and see things his way. He was obviously hurt. He bristled.

For almost an hour this couple took turns speaking in vague generalities. Finally, I asked pointedly, “What do you think the problem is?” She said, “He’s very demanding, jealous, and controlling.” He said, “I don’t like my wife having intimate relationships with other men.”

I did not see that response coming.

There was a moment of awkward silence as I gathered my thoughts. Then the husband explained, “I don’t think it’s right for a married woman to sleep with other men. She wants an open marriage. I don’t. I think our marriage should be exclusive.”