Feds Study Sex Life of Quails on Cocaine

Feds Study Sex Life of Quails on Cocaine July 13, 2018

Have you ever wondered about the sex lives of quails?

Have you ever wondered about the sex lives of quails when they’re high as a kite, and not from flying?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes, you might be a government employee.

According to the Washington Examiner, the federal government is spending a lot of money on the weirdest and most wasteful projects:

The National Institutes of Health spent $356,000 to better understand the combination of coke and sex. Because federal law obviously prohibits giving out samples of cocaine to human test subjects, those scientists recruited male Japanese quail instead. Turns out, when little birds that weigh less than a tennis ball get hopped up on illegal narcotics they tend to engage in some “high risk sexual activities.”

Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., isn’t happy about this. No, the Kentucky Republican doesn’t begrudge the promiscuous little birds. He blames the federal government who bought them coke with taxpayer money.

Paul said, that it should be “common sense would have told us that one, cocaine is probably not good for you, and that cocaine might make you do things that you wouldn’t have done otherwise had you not been on cocaine.”  But the point that he’s missing?  Common sense is in short supply in Washington D.C.  In fact, D.C. probably has more cocaine than common sense.

You know, it’s stuff like this that makes it easy to hate the government.  You could just laugh, but that’s your money being spent to feed cocaine to a quail to study the effects on its sex life.  Really.  Someone, in fact, many someones, should answer for this.  And by answer, I’m thinking they should be run out of government.


Hat Tip: Washington Examiner

Image Credit: Pixnio

"i wish we had such a guy in europe.... millions of bureaucrats to kick away.."

How Trump Is Delivering on His ..."
"As far as mass shootings go, the tax burden of jailing the perpetrators is the ..."

Of the 27 Deadliest Mass Shooters, ..."
"There's a similar problem with food allergies. My grandfather has a sensitivity to gluten (his ..."

New Harvard Study Says Trigger Warnings ..."
"Are there public toilets that don't require patronage of a business to use, and do ..."

San Francisco’s Homeless Using City as ..."

Browse Our Archives

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment