Prayer Request

A reader writes:

At this point I’m writing having fear I’ve got no one to turn to. I’m constantly being battered with gloom, depression, and despair. I live with my Grandma. And I often find she may very much cannot stand my moments of being down and finding me unbearable. I often turn to her and talk to her, so that I’m not concealing and holding inside all my doubts, insecurites, and distrusts. I often think she will tell me one thing, and feel she will do something different. Unfortunatley I don’t see or feel God delivering me of my distress and awful circumstances which my Grandma has to face with me. I think she will change her mind, and her heart. I’m often tormented, sadly, by dreams where she appears indifferent and leaves me on my own. I’m reaching out hoping someone will pray for me, and my Grandma. I’m glad to live with her and am grateful. But, I’m losing my ability of that joy and gratitude because my heart is filled with guilt for past and present sins. As well, much of what I’ve done leaves me fearful of what people will do to me if they found my sins out. I often pray to God asking him to make an opening through those fears into his complete un-obstructed mercy. But, I find no immediate healing nor anything as the time he parted the Dead Seas, healed the paralytic, and the leper. I find myself dis-illusioned and feel sadly inwardly turning upon myself. I’m reaching out, hoping, in prayer, God will save me. And, particular, secure me with and to my family here. I don’t want an inward drawing to myself. Rather, I’m asking for be outward, sincere, and loving my family. But I find God doesn’t come in and rescue me from my sins. And more so, I don’t find in those times of distress, God re-enforcing my place with my Grandma and my family. Please, please, please pray for me. God bless.

Father, hear our prayer that this person can find the hope and support they need, including especially help for this depression and trust in the grace of forgiveness in the sacrament of confession. We ask for her total healing in body, soul, and spirit through Christ our Lord. Mother Mary pray for her. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen!

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  • Therese

    “I often think she will tell me one thing, and feel she will do something different.”

    You are struggling with trust. This often happens when we have been untrustworthy ourselves. You are certainly not alone–it is a rare person who has not fallen in this way. Continue to cast yourself into the arms of God. I sense that you need to make more use of the Sacraments–confession and the Eucharist are the means that Christ uses to touch and heal us. And try not to doubt the love of your grandmother; I myself am a grandmother, and I know a little about the deep, enduring love that grandparents bear for their grandchildren. It is a mature love not based on need or even expectation. May God bless you.

  • You must seek the sacrament of reconciliation. no sin is too great to be forgiven. I’ll also pray for you & your Grandmother. Please know, God is with you. He may not change your circumstances but He will change you. May God bless you & keep you; may He dress & bind up the wounds in your heart & bring you peace.

  • Tavie

    Be at peace. I understand the sorrow in your heart. I have felt the same way at times. I agree try frequent Confession and Eucharist.. It is the only thing that keeps me sane: to know that I can cast my cares and worries and insecurities upon He woo understands all, and forgives all. Without His arms holding me up, I do not know where I would be. Be at peace.Remember//// It will be alight in the end…..if it is not alright, it is not the end. Hail Mary…..

  • I will pray and offer things up for you today.

  • Mary

    You are in my prayers today! Please have hope and continue to trust in God.

  • Irenist

    I often find she may very much cannot stand my moments of being down and finding me unbearable. I often turn to her and talk to her

    My prayers are with you. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that if you are struggling with despair and clinical depression, your Grandma is probably struggling with the saddening aspects of your situation, too. It may be hard for her to find the strength to help you if she’s struggling herself. If it’s at all possible, I’d urge you, in addition to seeking out God’s grace in the sacraments, to seek help from a professional therapist: there’s no shame in needing someone to talk to, but a professional who isn’t living through your family’s situation every day may be of more help than your Grandma. May God bless you both!