A reader writes:
At this point I’m writing having fear I’ve got no one to turn to. I’m constantly being battered with gloom, depression, and despair. I live with my Grandma. And I often find she may very much cannot stand my moments of being down and finding me unbearable. I often turn to her and talk to her, so that I’m not concealing and holding inside all my doubts, insecurites, and distrusts. I often think she will tell me one thing, and feel she will do something different. Unfortunatley I don’t see or feel God delivering me of my distress and awful circumstances which my Grandma has to face with me. I think she will change her mind, and her heart. I’m often tormented, sadly, by dreams where she appears indifferent and leaves me on my own. I’m reaching out hoping someone will pray for me, and my Grandma. I’m glad to live with her and am grateful. But, I’m losing my ability of that joy and gratitude because my heart is filled with guilt for past and present sins. As well, much of what I’ve done leaves me fearful of what people will do to me if they found my sins out. I often pray to God asking him to make an opening through those fears into his complete un-obstructed mercy. But, I find no immediate healing nor anything as the time he parted the Dead Seas, healed the paralytic, and the leper. I find myself dis-illusioned and feel sadly inwardly turning upon myself. I’m reaching out, hoping, in prayer, God will save me. And, particular, secure me with and to my family here. I don’t want an inward drawing to myself. Rather, I’m asking for be outward, sincere, and loving my family. But I find God doesn’t come in and rescue me from my sins. And more so, I don’t find in those times of distress, God re-enforcing my place with my Grandma and my family. Please, please, please pray for me. God bless.
Father, hear our prayer that this person can find the hope and support they need, including especially help for this depression and trust in the grace of forgiveness in the sacrament of confession. We ask for her total healing in body, soul, and spirit through Christ our Lord. Mother Mary pray for her. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen!