Not the Onion

Pentagon: A Human Will Always Decide When a Robot Kills You

It will be a consolation to the innocent men, women and children we murder that they are not being slaughtered in a James Cameron flick that fat, dumb and happy suburban Americans–who can’t unplug from their video games long enough to cope with the real world–fret about in their fantasy bubble of unreality. Rather, these innocents are, like rather a lot of innocents on our soil, being murdered by real human beings committing grave sins whose matter is worthy of the everlasting fires of hell (though God alone can judge their culpability).

I know *my* big fear is of some fictional Skynet becoming self-aware and commencing the Robot Apocalypse, not of some repeated-countless-times-in-history silly unrealistic fear of a completely unaccountable Executive with a secret kill list murdering civilians while  a compliant press and spaniel-like party apparatchiks look the other way.

“No country on Earth would tolerate missiles raining down on its citizens from outside its borders.” – His Imperial Highness Barack Obama, speaking with a straight face to his subjects.

Of course, even though His Majesty has already unilaterally ordered the murder of an American citizen on the basis of his secret, unilateral will alone and without arrest, trial, judge, jury or verdict, we can *of course* be assured that he will only have citizens killed if they are Really Bad[TM] and if they are on foreign soil.  It would never *occur* to the State to think, “You know, there are bad people right here on our soil who just need killin’ and the whole “due process” think just slows everything down!”  So rest assured that the People’s Democratic National Security State of Heaven will never use drones, secret arrests, indefinite detainment or assassins to simply kill or disappear critics of the Anointed in our Ruling Class on our soil.  It’s all to Keep You Safe.  So feel safe, or you may be an enemy of the State.

 

Oh sure, the *Republicans* might do such a horrible thing, but the Obama Administration is Truly Enlightened and filled with the Best and Brightest, so when they murder people (including citizens), you can be sure that person needed murdered–even the women, children, funeral goers and rescue workers picking up body parts from the previous drone strike.  As it more or less says in the Good Book, “If these people were guilty, we would not be putting them to death.”

Meanwhile, America, continue worrying about Skynet, zombies and vampires.

  • http://www.LifeAfterLiberalArts.com What Can I Do With A Philosophy Degree?

    I just take my soma and enjoy my feelies in this brave new world, and come to love being always at war (for peace!)

  • Michael in ArchDen

    “No country on Earth would tolerate missiles raining down on its citizens from outside its borders.” – His Imperial Highness Barack Obama, speaking with a straight face to his subjects.

    In fairness Mark, while the drones come from outside another country’s borders, the missles they rain down are fired WITHIN that country’s borders. So, it’s totally different!

    Also, you missed “Our Lord and Savior” that is now part of His Imperial Highness’ title…

  • Timbot2000

    “Of course, even though His Majesty has already unilaterally ordered the murder of an American citizen on the basis of his secret, unilateral will alone and without arrest, trial, judge, jury or verdict”

    You forget Mark that he also unilaterally ordered the murder of said American citizen’s 16-year old American citizen son, lest he should adopt the mantle of his departed father, a true pre-crime execution. Bravo Majestat!

    • Mark Shea

      Nits make lice. Think of it as a *very* late term abortion and it’s all good.

  • A Random Friar

    This sort of thing also affects the men and women who pilot these drones, all the way from Nevada, US of A. Imagine having to rain down death on people you can see, then trying to go home and all is normal.

    Moral people do not compartmentalize so tidily.

  • Martin T

CLOSE | X

HIDE | X