Not the Onion

Seagal to lead school shooting response exercise

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s team will participate in a simulated school shooting as a training exercise, with help from a special celebrity guest, according to a statement.

Along with instructors, actor Steven Seagal will lead the simulation, to take place in the Arizona county on Saturday, February 9.

So, is this Arpaio guy getting ready to run for office or something? Cuz this looks a whole lot like the sort of stupid showbiz crap somebody does when they are planning to go national.

"So much for hating the sin and loving the sinner. Boy was Augustine dumb."

Not coincidentally….
"You know, I feel like you need to be more careful with your word choice. ..."

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"Condemn the lie, condemn the liar? Isn't that the ol' throwing out the baby with ..."

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Chris

    So the lesson here is to respond to a deranged gunman as if he’s a Hollywood celebrity shooting blanks.

    What could go wrong?

  • Chris

    This can only be topped by the indoor pyrotechnic fire drill.

  • brian

    Funny. When I read this I thought it was going to be an article in which a SEAHAWKS Sea Gal was going to be the one leading the exercise.

  • Stu

    Another example, just like the notion of women in combat, of people not being able to discern the difference between reality and TV/movies.

  • Kate

    Seagal played cop in Louisiana for a couple decades. He used to be an occasional deputy in Jefferson Parish – they did eventually make a reality show out of it but the playing cop came before the show – until a sex harassment charge killed the series and his relationship with the locals. I guess he just found a different state to play pretend in!

  • Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been in the national news for decades now with one sadistic PR stunt after another, so I don’t see any particular reason to believe that’s planning any campaigns for higher office just now.

  • By the title, I thought it meant ‘Not the Onion!’ as in the Onion is shutting down or something. Sadly, these exercises are a common practice now in schools. They had as many exercises dealing with shooters as they did fire or tornado. I suppose adding a celebrity to the mix is just about what we should expect. I wonder if there’s a relationship there somewhere.

  • AZLori

    The training exercises, when done by police departments/school resource officers, are valuable lessons on how to keep our kids safe in the face of such an emergency. Bringing in Steven Seagal is just dumb, and one in a long line of publicity stunts undertaken by Arpaio.

  • Kirt Higdon

    Steven Seagal is the best possible trainer for something like this. Completely unarmed, save for his aikido skills, he can demolish dozens of armed opponents. I’ve seen him do it in many movies. I nominate Jean Claude Van Damme for the next training exercise.

    • SouthCoast

      Heh. And I know a real martial artist who once left Seagal staring at the ceiling counting the pretty stars. In one move.

  • It’s not like this hasn’t been tried before in a different context:

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)

    I wonder if any of Seagall’s mobster buddies are working with the teacher’s union?

    And Arpaio just seems to get nuttier by the year. Next he’ll be putting John Pinette in charge of Arizona’s physical fitness program.