The Onion is Uncanny Sometimes

This is from 2008:

I’m beginning to think that Disney should be hauled before Congressional hearings on charges of massive, decades-long child abuse conspiracy. The toll of children killed and wounded by that Machine is appalling.

America’s Paper of Record also posts CNN’s true explanation for using Cyrus to sell beer and shampoo.

What? You thought the function of McNews is to inform?

You Know It’s True
Today’s Chance to Do a Work of Mercy
This will make you happy
Water is the New Oil