Mormon Matters on Suicide

My most recent interview on Mormon Matters with Dan Wotherspoon, Charn Burton and Nicholas Maughn.  Offers education on suicide (why it happens, signs to look for, what to expect from grief) as well as an in depth look as to how suicide is looked at or experienced through the lens of Mormon culture and doctrine.

Mormon Matters

  • anonymous

    I am having a rather difficult time with something that my husband came to me with just 3 weeks after our wedding. He asked me for a divorce. He suggests that he received warning such as “if you do this, you will answer to me later”. My husband did not address this issue, or supposed warnings until after I suggested that he was not making appropriate comments about the body’s of some particular high school aged girls at a track meet. He also mentioned that he was masturbating 2-5 times a week previous to his mental commitment to me. He also insisted that we needed to be married right away instead of wait to go to the temple. There are several things that I notice now that I wish I would have noticed before I married him but there were just some things that he did not disclose to me before the wedding. Regardless, I received my own confirmation to marry him, and so I did. Now, he is basically telling me that my confirmation is wrong and that his is right. My thoughts on this are, I was and am still living my life worthy to hold a temple recommend. I feel I received the answer confirming marriage, was because I was living worthily and Heavenly Father granted me my desires. Now my husband on the other hand, who is asking for this divorce, and who also will not communicate with me at all. He has an addiction to porn and cheated on his ex-wife. He was disciplined and now holds a clerk calling, and a temple recommend. Anytime he has discussed his cheating, he refers to the woman as his indiscretion and also, now after we have been married, calls his ex-wife, his wife. He has asked me to do and say several things that I feel satisfy his fantasies of porn. I think he is asking for this divorce because he feels ashamed and I do not know how to help him realize that I knew about his past when I married him and that I plan on staying with him through his hard times. How do I get through to a man that will not even respond to an email? How do I get his Bishop to believe that there is a need for specific area counseling? His Bishop counseled him, “I will support any decision you make.” With my husbands addiction, is that the best thing to be saying to him? Doesn’t that just confirm his behavior regardless if the Bishop knows then non-confessed transgressions? PS we have never lived together. I live 160 miles away. We are members of different Areas.

  • anonymous

    Six years ago I began to have serious doubts about my Mormon faith. At one point early in my journey I had frequent thoughts of suicide and a desire to be dead. Thankfully, I made it through that darkest part.

    Today I find myself perpetually frustrated, still trying to reconcile the disparity between what the LDS Church teaches and reality. When I listen to leaders I can no longer take anything good from what they say. I get frustrated with my three kids and wife easily. I used to be an overall positive and trusting person. Now I’m cynical and I don’t like it. In the past I’ve always been able to pull myself out of slumps like this, but this has been going on for years and I don’t know what to do.

  • anonymous

    My husband and I have been married for three and a years. We got married in the temple– and we had never been with anyone else so I didn’t know if what I was experiencing was normal or not– But I still haven’t been able to achieve an orgasm, so now I know something is off… I had had them before, often when I sleep and when I would occasionally masterbate using the water in my tub… Also I had orgasmed before while making out before we were even married… So I know it’s possible, but ever since we got married it seems like that’s been turned off. We’ve tried vibrators and almost everything else but we always end up having the same conversations and end up at the same conclusion— I don’t know what I want and he doesn’t know what to give me.

    I feel so guilty because I have to imagine other men to even get aroused but even then I haven’t been able to achieve and orgasm. It also doesn’t help that ever since I had my son, sex is painful for me %70 of the time, so I get really apprehensive about sex and try to avoid it a lot.

    My husband is so sweet and so sensitive and tries to help me but I haven’t been able to ‘get there’. Then I feel sad because it makes him sad… And then I feel angry. Why can my husband just get aroused by the smallest things? Why can it be so mechanical too? I don’t understand why I can’t just have sex and enjoy it and not think about it— just do it? Why can’t I manufacture those feelings if I’m just not in the mood?

    I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I think of other men. I love my husband and I most definitely would rather not have to resort to that but I’m reaching for SOMETHING to get me there…. But to no avail.

    Any Insight would be so appreciated!

    Thank you