Brene’s DON’T: Perfectionism

As part of my weekly challenge/recommendation I tackled “perfection” in my journal and this is what I came up with: This word, perfection, just kind of sucks. It’s a word with which one can only have a relationship of perpetual failure. Not one aspect of our creation and being is wired for it. Perfection implies a finite measurement… a finished work of art… an end goal… a completion of sorts. Eternal progression requires no such thing. And so, it’s a… Read more

Brene’s DO: Worthiness

As part of my weekly challenge/recommendation I tackled “worthiness” in my journal and this is what I came up with: Am I worthy? This is a question that haunted most of my Mormon upbringing. Taking back the authority from the church that tried very hard to do this job on my behalf (judging my worthiness), has been difficult yet liberating and empowering: and strangely falls within the Mormon invitation to honor and seek personal revelation. I am always worthy now. My worthiness is… Read more

This Week’s Recommendation: Brene Brown’s DO and DON’T

I’m going to attempt a new weekly ritual at “The Mormon Therapist” and give a recommendation for a book, website, activity, etc… and also have an “assignment” that is tied to it that anyone can follow if they so choose in the process of self-development. Hope readers might find this a good addition to this blog site and that we can share with one another good resources/experiences in the comments section. I am currently reading Brene Brown’s, The Gifts of… Read more

The Wisdom Within Us

I am currently hosting a Mormon Matters Retreat… and one of my favorite parts is when we give time for each attendee to introduce themselves and share some of their story, their relationship with Mormonism, what they are currently struggling with and what they hope to get out of the experience. I am always humbled and honored to be witness to such deep and profound vulnerability among people who are just getting to know each other… and yet who are… Read more

Mormon Matters Retreat THIS Weekend!

Three hours left to my drive from the bread basket to the Rocky Mountains. Making it right in time to get our retreat started this evening for which I’m so excited! I know we are going to meet phenomenal people, hear amazing stories and share useful resources. We still have a few slots open! Can’t come for the whole weekend? Come anyway! We will take what we can get of you Read more

Faith Transition Seen Through the Lens of Trauma

Why do faith transitions hurt so badly? Many of my non-Mormon friends don’t seem to understand why a shift in my beliefs is leaving me so depressed and broken? What is wrong with me? Is it normal to take what I feel like is a huge, painful betrayal so hard? This is absolutely normal. It can affect everything from your identity, to your most precious relationships, to your life choices, to pretty much every aspect of your life. Especially in a… Read more

The Principle of Modesty: Why We Are Getting it Wrong

There are many ways that our current modesty rhetoric falls dreadfully short of teaching this principle correctly. We tend to focus mostly on women’s attire – instead of the much deeper meaning of the word. Both men and women should find the assertions we make about the impact women’s clothing offensive. The fact remains that fashion has changed throughout history. What has been deemed “modest” has changed throughout time, including within our own LDS standards. I have seen men and… Read more

How do we define pornography?

How do we define pornography? A fairly typical definition of “pornography” goes like this: “Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.” This leaves a lot of wiggle room… How do we define half of the terms in this definition? Who gets to decide what is an erotic vs. an emotional or aesthetic feeling? Who gets to decide if the material was intentionally… Read more

2 Upcoming Retreats for Faith Transition Folks

I will be a co-presenter at two upcoming retreats (Dallas July 7-8 and Salt Lake City July 14-16) meant to help those who have or are going through what we call a “faith transition.” This can mean those who have left their religion all together, those who are facing doubts or questions about their religion or those who want to stay involved with their religious community and/or belief systems, but in ways that are new to their past experience. Often… Read more

Sabbath Delight

As I contemplate the many principles we try to live as Latter-day Saints… I often think of how these principles (the ones that would actually originate from divinity)… would be meant for our benefit. And how often I have messed up this basic principle about principles — where I use them as a measuring stick of how I don’t quite “measure up,” instead of edifying forces in my life. And I know I’m not alone since this is a common… Read more

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