Ali Family Autism Truths #9 – The Best Muslim, the Innocence of Humanity

April 9, 2015, Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #9

I’ve noticed a trend during the past few years of families performing Umrah during their kids’ spring breaks. I think it’s great – a wonderful way for families to come together for a moving, spiritual pilgrimage and introduce their children to some of what is most special, most beauteous, most humbling and true about Islam.

Year after year, right before spring break rolls around, I get at least five or six messages/emails, or read on social media of friends going, asking for forgiveness and taking prayer requests. I always, always ask for prayers for D and for my other children. My younger two children, A and H (especially 11-year-old A), have repeatedly asked their Baba and I when we’ll take them for Umrah.

Inshallah soon, I tell them. When the time is right.

And I do. I do want to take them. I want them to see the things we talk about at home. I want them to feel the connection, in whatever way possible, to feel the touchstones of our faith. I want them to walk amongst a sea of Muslims and feel that brotherhood/sisterhood.

I want to take D, too. And I don’t. I’ve struggled with this thought for years now. Part of me wants to go for Umrah with just D and my husband – take D to the Grand Mosque in Makkah and have him touch the Ka’ba. Take him to Madinah into Masjid al Nabui, the mosque of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). I imagine this peace will come over him. I imagine I’ll have answers I’ve always been seeking.

But let’s be honest. I doubt there will be this clouds parting, sun bursting down on me in a brilliant burst of clarity kind of moment. And the logistics of getting D there – the long, inescapable flight, hotel stays, loss of routine, crowds, noise, time changes – everything is a huge red flag on my list of autism don’ts for D.

This I know about D – he is more Muslim, more perfectly human, more true than anyone else I know. He is beyond the rituals of Islam. Without putting his forehead once on the prayer mat, without ever feeling once the pangs of hunger of a Ramadan fast, without giving a penny in zakat (charity), without ever reading one word of the Quran and without ever enduring the hardships of the Hajj pilgrimage – he is the embodiment of the best of Islam, the best of faith, the best of humanity.

None of this is required of him. None of this is asked of him. His heart is pure, his relationship with Allah is one we can only dream of. He is everything good and honest. He is Jannat (heaven) guaranteed.

This I know. I am as sure of this as I am of the ground under my feet and the tears unshed in my eyes.

So what is there to gain by taking all the way across the ocean to Makkah? To perform Umrah? Who will it be for? Allah? Me? D? Will I ever do it? I don’t know. But here’s the truth:

Said a friend to me on Twitter this morning: He can work a miracle for our kids anywhere on earth-not just Makkah. We’re the ones with sins. They’re just tourists for now.