I Has High Expectations

I woke this morning and soon after read a blog post written by a friend, whom I have never met in person, but I consider her a friend. In a conversation she had with her autistic, nonverbal (but definitely not non communicative daughter) daughter via spelling on a letter board, her daughter said to her, “I HAS HIGH EXPECTATIONS.” The conversation came following a difficult situation they had come through, and her daughter was expressing her frustration with herself because,… Read more

In Autism Land, Who Tells D’s Story?

Ali Family Autism Truths #15 – April 15, 2016 One of the dangers in chronicling D’s and our family’s autism journey is taking a story that is supposed to be about him and turning it into a story about us. Or me. I know that has happened one too many times over the years. Some of it is inevitable, given that instead of D writing or sharing his stories due to the profoundness of his autism, I’ve taken on that… Read more

A Lunchtime School Cafeteria Story

Ali Family Autism Truths #14 – April 14, 2016 Hey H, I said to my youngest this morning as the kids got ready for school, I’m going to see you later today at school! What for? He asked me. Did you forget? I’m on lunchroom duty today! Guess that means I have to finish all my lunch today, he quipped back at me. I love lunchroom duty days. Every class is assigned a week to provide parent volunteers in the… Read more

Not Living in the Past – Living for the Future

Ali Family Autism Truths #13 – April 13, 2016 When you’re picking up your kid from school and it’s taking a very long time for the teachers to bring him out. You think the worst. Because, experience. ‪#‎autism I posted that on Facebook while I sat in the car today nervously watching the minutes tick away, waiting for D to come out. It was taking a long time for his teachers to walk him to the car, and that was… Read more

Conversations with Son H – Where He Lays Down Truths

Ali Family Autism Truths #12 – April 12, 2016 Scene: At our kitchen table where eight-year-old H is doing his homework, and I am doing office work on my laptop: H: Hey Mamma? Me: Hey what? H: When did you know D bhai was autistic? Me: When he was very little. The doctor officially told us when he was three years old, but I knew a long time before that. H: Did you know when … Me: When what? H:… Read more

Why is Setting up a Village of Support so Difficult?

Ali Family Autism Truths #11 – April 11, 2016 As we wrapped up our monthly meeting, we pulled out our calendars to schedule our meeting for the next month. How about May 12? She asked me. No, I said. That’s my birthday. I don’t want to be depressed on my birthday. She laughed. Depressed? No, I’m serious, I said. Just consider this for a minute. We’re inclined, as humans, to try and live positively. No matter what is hard or… Read more

Hard Truths that Demand to be Lived With

Ali Family Autism Truths #10 – April 10, 2016 There was a big group of teenage boys out practicing lacrosse on the field today where I took D for his weekly Open Gym session, better known as The John Maloney Project. Young, strapping 14-17 year olds, from what I could guess, going through sprints and lacrosse formations. Healthy young men, calling out to each other, joking, listening to their coach, sweating and putting in a good practice. All the while… Read more

It’ll Never Be Enough

Ali Family Autism Truths #9 – April 9, 2016 The house is full of family tonight, with my sister-in-law and kids joining us for a late dinner. D’s used to his cousins in and out of the house, and finds his own spaces to chill when the human population of the home becomes too much. It used to be that life more or less revolved around D, his activities, his therapies, his needs and what he could manage and could… Read more

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream. There’s the (Autistic) Rub

Ali Family Autism Truths #8 – April 8, 2016 At 5:30 a.m., my phone rang. Or rather, it vibrated on the nightstand next to my bed. When I woke out of deep sleep to its hum and grabbed it, bleary eyed, I saw that it was my mother-in-law, calling from downstairs (where their bedroom is). I began to panic. With my father-in-law home from the hospital seven days ago after his triple bypass surgery, and with them sleeping by themselves… Read more

Conversations with Daughter A: Laying Down Truths in School

Ali Family Autism Truths #7  April 7, 2016 Scene: In the car, today, after I picked up daughter A (who is 12 years old) from school then drove over to get D from his school. The following conversation ensued. It’s not word for word accurate, but pretty much spot on. A: So there are these two girls in my gym class, and I don’t mean to be mean about them but … Me: What? A: They’re saying stuff about another… Read more

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