app tells you what sexual activity sends you to heaven or hell

Oh, I’m bad. I know.

But listen! I’m reading all over the internet ridiculous ideas about what is biblical sex and what is not. Just the other day I saw a very popular tweet where a man was insisting a woman should not enjoy sex because her sole biblical purpose is to silently and gently procreate. So I can’t help but imagine that he’s had loud and rough sex and got all guilty over it.

In bible college I sat through a whole week of chapel sermons on biblical sex. Oral sex, masturbation, positions that imitated animals or gave the woman power were all suggested as unbiblical. That was a very horny week for me because, well, I can’t help but visualize everything they were talking about.

Am I the only one out there that pictures this stuff in his head? Or is this just the bane of artists?

So I figured I’d create an app that saved us from the problem of thinking and enjoying ourselves called Jesus Creep™.

Hahaha! One of the things we talk quite a bit about at The Lasting Supper is sex, and we have fun doing it! Excuse the pun. No, don’t!