I remember a time some months ago, when 2 year old Ms Pooky was getting her leg stuck in the bars on the back of the kitchen chairs over and over. No matter how many times I helped her slide her ankle out from where it was wedged between the bars, a few minutes or hours later she would be standing on a chair singing to herself while she leaned over to color or play with play dough, and her foot would slip in-between the bars and slide to where it was stuck, at which point she would erupt in bloodcurdling screams until I came to coach her on how to get her foot loose. I tried to explain how her foot was getting stuck, demonstrated how she should slide her foot up slowly to get it out, and even suggested standing on a different chair, all to no avail. For a while she was getting stuck so frequently, I found myself becoming irritated with her. Why did she keep getting trapped over and over despite the painful experience and knowledge of how her foot got stuck there? Immediately I made the connection of where that mindset was coming from. It was tied to my old understanding of child training. The idea that administering pain whenever my child did something I did not want them to do would train them not to do it again.