“You Are Not Your Own:” When Metaphors For Sex Sound A Lot Like Like Rape

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Content Note: rape, sexual assault, violent imagery, discussion of colonialism/imperialism We're getting toward the end of my series on rape and sexual assault in evangelical Christian dating books (Dateable, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Real Marriage, and When God Writes Your Love Story). If you need to catch up, you can find older posts here. Here … [Read more...]

Must Reads!

This is my husband, Abe and our cat, Pickle. Aren't they precious?

Here are some must read posts from the past few weeks, plus an adorable cat picture. Enjoy! On Not Reading Barth: My Measly Resistance by Janice Rees You often hear the lament of the poor white scholar: ‘it is so hard not to be a queer, black, disabled, liberal Biblicist’ we are told.  It is the trump card of all institutional powers: ‘what momentum, there is no power here, we are now the minority!’ ...Don’t believe the hype; the man is still the man and the institution holds all … [Read more...]

A little more on the “selfish wives” that say no.

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I firmly believe in a person's right to say no to marital sex.  Marriage is not a contract that binds a person to sex on-demand. I've made this clear in posts elsewhere (like here and here), and I've discussed this in other settings outside of my blog. Oddly, some people really don't seem to like this idea. In fact, almost every time I suggest that a person has a right to say no to sex, even to their spouse, I get similar responses: "Well if a couple NEVER has sex that's a bad … [Read more...]

Who wants to create some queer theology?

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If you're a regular reader of this site, you'll know that I have a thing for feminist theology. I believe that, if there is a God who is anything like the God Christians talk about, she has a special place in her heart for the oppressed, the marginalized. For those who've been othered and treated as "less than" by the rest of society.  I believe that if you want to find God, the best thing to do is to listen to these people tell their stories.  Today, I want to promote someone who is … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Only Selfish Wives Say No

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault, coercion  Note 1: Some of you have noticed that I always link adorable bunnies to Mark Driscoll's name in my blogs. Thought I would remind people that credit for that idea goes to this tumblr conversation! Enjoy the bunnies!  Moving right along on my series on rape and sexual assault in Christian … [Read more...]

On Hugo Schwyzer and Christianity’s Open Door Policy for Abusers

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Trigger Warning: Abuse apologism, murder/suicide, Hugo Schwyzer We have to talk about Hugo Schwyzer. If you don't spend a lot of time involved in "secular" online feminism you may not recognize that name. Fortunately, he didn't get as much of an "in" in the Christian feminist blogging world as I'm guessing he would have liked to. Schwyzer was a self-proclaimed male feminist and Women's Studies professor who became kind of a celebrity in online feminism for his pieces on gender issues. When … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” Only Bad Girls Say Yes

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault Today, I’m continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant … [Read more...]

Must Reads!

Photo by me.

Here are some important recent posts that you shouldn't miss: *"Why I'm On Strike Today: I Can't Support Myself On $7.85 at Burger King," by Willieta Dukes Burger King says they can't pay employees like me higher wages because it would force them out of business. Yet last year it made $117m in profits and its CEO took home $6.47m. It would take me 634 years to earn that much. *"Turning on a Dime: False Equivalence in Purity Culture," by Dani Kelley  It is a goddamn lie that a person … [Read more...]

I Am Not A Rose.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

Trigger Warning: Rape, Sexual Assault, Purity Culture  Somewhere during that awkward transition period of my life in which I had ceased being a raving fundamentalist but had not yet become a raving feminist universalist, I really liked this one Matt Chandler video. I told you...it was an awkward period of my life. You can watch that video here, if you are so inclined. For those of you who'd rather not (I don't blame you), I'll sum it up real quick like. In the video, Chandler talks … [Read more...]

“You Are Not Your Own:” People Belong To Their Partners…Even Before Marriage

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This post is part of a series called“You Are Not Your Own,” focusing on rape and sexual assault in Christian relationship/dating books Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault Today, I'm continuing my series in which I share the results of my undergraduate thesis on rape and sexual assault in popular evangelical Christian dating books. After reading Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable, I came across four significant … [Read more...]


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