Dark Devotional: Pardoning Thomas

I was hospitalized twice for a total of 28 days in a period of 38 days for bipolar depression. When I reveal this, Christians tend to give me one of two responses: “Oh, that’s great!” What the hell? Oh, yeah, I forgot; how good of God to direct me to a safe place in his care. How careless of me to not think of that. Or a look of sympathy. Great. You’ll probably pray for me, too. Thanks.When I was in the hospital, I had one openly Christian nurse. But the nurses are the only reason I am able t … [Read more...]

Lower than Death: An Easter Dark Devotional

 “Did You ever know loneliness, did You ever know need? Do You remember just how long a night can get? When You were barely holding on and Your friends fall asleep And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat Will those who mourn be left uncomforted While You're up there just playing hard to get?”      - from “Hard to Get” by Rich Mullins I wish it were only a sick pilgrim thing, trying to find the object of dark devotion on the happiest day of the liturgical calendar, mil … [Read more...]

Stations of the Cross: A Spectator to the Execution

You have my whole heart. You always did. —Cormac McCarthy, The Road  Imagine for a moment the greatest love of your life. Your beloved. This person is the center of your existence, a person who makes you feel truly alive. Before you met your beloved, you were anxious, distracted, frail, broken. But now in your emerging love, you feel strong. You feel alive. You don’t know what you were experiencing before, but it wasn’t this. This person has helped you understand your past, and you … [Read more...]

RIP Rich Mullins: Palm Sunday Dark Devotional

"You had no stones to throw You came without an ax to grind You did not tow the party line No wonder sight came to the blind You had no stones to throwYou rode an ass's foal They spread their coats and cut down palms For You and Your donkey to walk upon But the world won't find what it thinks it wants On the back of an ass's foal So I guess You had to get sold'Cause the world can't stand what it cannot own And it can't own You 'cause You did not have a home.Birds have … [Read more...]

What Your Outrage at LeFou’s Presumed Sexuality Says to the Mom of an LGBT Child  

In case you live more in your own little bubble than I do, there has been a good deal of controversy around the character of LeFou in Disney's reboot of Beauty and the Beast.Yes, THERE IS A SUPPORTING CHARACTER WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE GAY.Despite the fact that this shocks no one, it has caused an uproar. Franklin Graham called for a boycott of Disney. Life Petitions (of LifeSite News fame) had a petition to “tell Disney ‘NO’ to the LGBT agenda in Beauty and the Beast.” A drive-in theater in … [Read more...]

Dark Devotional: Lazarus

 My uncle died a few weeks before Easter last year, an uncle who lived a complicated life wrought with struggle and isolating mental illness. Given the difficult task of planning a way to commemorate his life, my mom called to ask me if I would be the one to officiate the services. Not only had I not spoken to my uncle in about two decades, but he was a paranoid alcoholic, an angry recluse who was estranged from his family. Officiate his funeral?! To say what exactly? His life seemed … [Read more...]

Dark Devotional: Faith and Doubt in the Labyrinth

I am easily led to anxiety in unfamiliar situations. I don’t like to do things with other people, and though I recognize the necessity in community, I’d almost always prefer to go about my day on my own, for comfort's sake. Like most of us, I like certainty. Like most of us, I realize life isn’t very certain.While walking a labyrinth with a group of friends last week, I was brought to a place of holding this uncertainty in a new way. In our preparation to walk, we reminded one another that th … [Read more...]

Dark Devotional: To Die for an Ungodly Neighbor

For Christ, while we were still helpless, died at the appointed time for the ungodly. Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. But God proves his love for us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.In the aftermath of the presidential election, I've seen many Catholic bloggers and Facebook-ers address the question of "martyrdom." The discussion is focused on the housing and … [Read more...]

That viral video of the interrupted professor? I don’t think it’s funny.

It crowded my newsfeed on Friday, accompanied by many “LOLs” and my favorite “laughing to the point of tears” emoji.Robert E. Kelly, a political science professor based in South Korea, was being interviewed live on BBC from his home office when his toddler opened the door and bounded in, followed by a baby sibling in a walker.The professor reaches back with one arm and attempts to push the toddler away, while continuing to look into the camera and attempts to answer the questio … [Read more...]

Dark Devotional: A Hazy Christ Unveiled

He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began, but now made manifest through the appearance of our savior Christ Jesus, who destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. (2 Tim. 1.8b-10)And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light. (Mt. 17.2) I have always been interested in … [Read more...]