We’re getting a dog.

It’s a long story, but the basic principle is, “If you’re gonna do something stupid, go big.”  So we have an appointment to drive three hours and pick up a nice little puppy who happens to be a Great Dane/German Shepherd mix.  I have zero experience with dogs, but my husband has owned tons of them.  So I know he’ll have this guy completely under control in no time, no matter how big he gets.

” . . . and once you and I get ‘fetch’ down pat, I’m gonna train Mama how to use Photoshop, because this is just embarrassing.”


While we’re waiting for this little guy to be weaned, we’re thinking of names.  All the kids except the baby (so that’s ages 4 to 15) contributed ideas.  Here is our list, which may or may not be funny to anyone outside the family:

  • Rosette
  • Hammer Dammer
  • Shambles
  • Captain Bananas
  • Sharkbait
  • Bowie
  • Minion
  • Kirby
  • Bucket
  • Chickenbutt
  • Bleah
  • Woof
  • Tesla
  • Rufus
  • Terminator
  • Master of Darkness
  • Rover
  • Toby
  • Cody
  • Puckett
  • Brainiac
  • Broody
  • Haddock
  • Sharkface
  • Tadpole
  • Samwise
  • Sam
  • Ham
  • Sebastian
  • Hammy
  • Short Round
  • Lando
  • Gandolf
  • Dumbledore
  • Voldemort
  • Bananagram
  • Moovie-doovie
  • Grommit
  • Yoshi
  • Ramen
  • Pop
  • Popcorn
  • Wii-wii
  • Count Marshmallow
  • Captain Flower
  • Eye of Death
  • Shatner
  • Bum
  • William
  • Chips
  • Stinker
  • Gulliver
  • Mama
  • Nuffie
  • Door-door
  • Poison Dart Frog
  • Eyeballs
  • Piggie
  • Snarkytreepig
  • Farthead
  • Yarp
  • Narp
  • Bongo
  • Wolfie
  • Mushroom Breath
  • Patch
  • Tenderheart

I feel like, no matter what we officially choose, it’s going to be Captain Bananas.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • afwife

    I vote Gandalf. My children were begging for this child to be Bilbo. Alas, they didn’t win. 😉

  • Rebecca Fuentes

    Go shout the name out the back door ten times and see what you like. We named our greyhound/borzoi cross Raven (she’s black; kids picked the name), but I call her Skinny and the kids call her Rae-Rae.

  • Colet C. Bostick

    Irene’s going to have to step up her game if she wants to compete with Marmaduke for column space.

  • Abby

    You should name him Puccini and call him “Pooch” for short.

  • Andy, Bad Person

    I’m a fan of Count Marshmallow. It’s the unnecessary title that makes it perfect.

  • A Mama of many nerdlings

    We have four dogs, two of them on the larger side of ‘medium’ one is a basenji mix, and she’s totally bizarre. Yodels and barks, howls and makes purring noises when you scratch her back. We named her Kandy because she reminded me of my grandmother’s dog who was a sweet little brown dog. Not the crazy big brown dingo we are stuck with. Our foxhound mix is named Sammie (named by the shelter) but she’s stupid as a brick so one of her nick names is Dum-dum. Because of how she moves through grass tracking the movements of small animals in the grass, she is also nicknamed ‘Doodle-bug’ (after the little insects that leave squiggly patterns in leaves) She comes to all of her names. The dog they replace was our first, a german shepherd/aussie shepherd mix named Max for Maximum Dog. His ‘shelter’ name was J.R. and had to go.

    My favorite dog is a little black an white Jack Russel/German shorhair pointer mix. He’s a genius compared to the other two although his brains are quite small. He was found at a gambling joint, the Pirate Cove, as a teeny puppy so the shelter named him Sparrow. That was clever, but altogether the wrong name for his personality. So we changed it to just ‘Jack’ which seems to suit him just fine. I saw him while i was paying Kandy’s bail to get her out of the shelter again when she ran away during a storm and got caught by the dog warden. The teeny tiny puppy came home with me, too, and has been my shadow ever since. The shi t’zu was found in the middle of the other side of the street near the road to our house. I opened the car door to yell at the llittle booger to get off the street and he ran over to my side of the street, jumped over me, sat in the passenger side and looked at me as if to say, “where we goin’ lady?” and since no one claimed him we kept him. His name is ‘Shaggy-man’ after the character in one of the Oz books. He also comes to ‘Shi tzu-boy’ and ‘Fizgig’ (the ball of fur and teeth from the movie Dark Crystal). The kids find all sorts of names for the poor old wreck. We think someone threw him out since he never runs very far away from his food dish. Don’t worry about what to call your dog. There will be something that comes naturally to the lot of you after a bit. Even if you begin by just calling it ‘puppy’ or ‘pups’. It will learn soon enough it has a new name and respond to it (or not depending on its personality and sense of obedience

    Friends of ours named their dog Pat, short for Pat the Dog. 🙂

  • G.R.

    Any of those names would be really cute, although some might be a little difficult to say a lot lol :D. If you Google dog body language, there are some great little cartoon charts that help explain to kids what the dog is trying to tell them. Also, puppy books! We read them together; lots of good ideas for play time with kids and dogs as well as ways to head off future issues. These helped a lot with my little ones. Good luck!

  • Sarah

    Ha! I had a hamster named Bucket. I was 2 and it was one of the only words I knew, I guess.

  • Tracy Reeves

    My son suggested Delford Inglefudd for his little brother. I think if we ever get a dog, I want to name him Stormageddon.

  • Tori

    We had a greyhound named Hammie, it’s a great name and he was a great dog. Good luck choosing, the name thing is always so hard for me!

  • CSmith

    If you name him Sharkbait, every time some one calls him, you’ll hear “Sharkbait! Ooo ha ha!” in your head.

  • Julie

    I remember once thinking Anathema was a clever and pretentious name for a dog. “Anathema! Sit!”

    • Julie

      And I don’t think you could go wrong with Swinburn.

  • MichaelP71

    Ubu…so you can say it…

  • Katharine Memole

    We had a beautiful bright blue beta with red and green streaks in its tail named “Beige Beethoven Beta”.

  • HeatherRenshaw

    What, no “Bep”??

  • richard


  • The general rule on a dog name from a dog’s perspective is a two syllable word ending in a vowel. I would add that it should be somewhat distinct from anyone else’s name in the woolf’s den, or in this case, your home. This supposedly is what the dog would best adapt to as a personal identity. I’d go with Toby.
    A Great Dane/German Shepherd mix? Whoa, I hope your husband does have lots of experience. If the best attributes of the two turn out, that would make a good family dog who’ll look after the kids. If the worst traits of the two show up, you’ll hagve a rather large, rambunctious aggressor.

  • Jess

    A friend talked about getting a Great Dane and naming it “Kitty”, so she could go to the park and call, in a high-pitched voice, “Heeeeeerrrrree Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!” and then see this giant dog galloping towards her.

  • Maggie

    I suggest Bowser.

  • EMS

    Experts (?) say that an animals name should be 2 syllables (sp?) that ends with a vowel, as someone else has said – the reason being is that commands tend to be one word vowels (like sit). I picked names for my babies that reflect them. My late dog was named Bernie, as his “baby” name was Bear, and Bernie means brave as a bear. Fit him perfectly. My now furbaby has a name that means quiet, as he didn’t make a sound for the first week I had him. Since then, he’s developed a voice as needed, but the name still suits him. So, I suggest getting to know your dog’s personality and pick a name that reflects it.

  • Michele

    If he’s going to end up that big, you have to go with “Clifford.”

  • Melissa Hunter-Kilmer

    Orff. My daughter and I enjoy classical music very much. It occurred to us (too late) that Orff would be a perfect name for our mastiff. Instead, his name is Thurber, which probably wouldn’t work for your dog.

  • Meghan

    Have you tread The Rabbit’s Umbrella? I don’t remember exactly what it is about, but I think it might be a sort of quirky children’s book. It definitely has an oversized dog though.