Young Catholic women: what do you want to know about sex and the spiritual life?

I’ve very graciously been invited to lead a Theology on Tap discussion this Tuesday in Keene, NH.  Here’s the event description:

Think “Fifty Shades of Grey” is shocking? We’ll see your fifty and raise you 5 years and 129 talks–that’s what it took for Blessed John Paul II to outline his “Theology of the Body”, in which he explained the relationship between sex and spirituality. We’re so often taught in church that sex is a black-and-white, “do it” or “don’t do it” issue, but Theology of the Body teaches that there are so many shades of grey–we have to ask “why?” and “to what end?”, not just “can I?”
Join us as we split the ladies …and gents for separate discussions about Theology of the Body, sex, spirituality, and the practical application of the connection between the two!
The ladies’ conversation, led by author and blogger Simcha Fisher, will cover the basic ideas of ToB and how it impacts our relationships with men and our own bodies. Meet at Margarita’s Mexican Restaurant on Main Street!
The gents’ conversation will be led by Deacon Arnold Gustafson and will meet at Ramunto’s Pizzeria, also on Main Street!
Both groups will meet in private rooms at the venues so as to assure privacy when talking about this delicate topic.  See you there!
Local women, I would absolutely love to see you there!  Whether you can make it or not, I need your help.
What questions do you have?  What topics would you like to see addressed?  There is SO much here, and it’s just one night, so I’d like to focus the discussion on things that people really want to hear about.
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  • Simcha’s readers- I would really love recommendations on a book for an intelligent high school student (nominally Catholic, living with non-parents) who was molested as a child but I believe is not acting out sexually at this time- something positive, compassionate- Theology of the Body for High Schoolers? I haven’t read it

    • Lydia

      Try Dawn Eden’s My Peace I Give to You. It’s about healing from sexual abuse, very gentle (if you’ve ever heard or met Dawn you know how sweet she is).

      • Sara_Rennekamp

        Dawn Eden’s book is very good.Highly recommend it!

      • thank you!

  • jenny

    I would like to come….but I am very far….

  • Britt @ Proverbial Girlfriend

    I had questions that were turning into a rant. Instead, do you think you could ask the organizers to post videos of both—or at least transcripts or audio recordings (of both) or something? I understand the discretion behind having a public forum being sex-segregated, but in the privacy of own’s home think it vital for men and women to atempt to understand the other and know what they’ve been told.

  • Andrew Sell

    Will there be any transcripts available? (participants anonymous of course)

    • simchafisher

      I am not sure, Andrew. It will depend on how personal the conversation gets, I guess! I will post a link if we decide to make a recording available.

  • LibbyBarnes

    A discussion of how the intention of the heart affects all those gray areas.

    Dating and marrying a man who got into more sexual sin than you/less sexual sin than you – how to love well and fully in those situations.

    The growth, development and maturing of sex and spirituality throughout your marriage (so many of us think we have to be a perfect example straight out of JPII’s TOB as soon as we get married).

    What people/influences will cause you to get overscrupulous and where to go for information about an authentic human, Catholic sex life?

    There’s so many more… maybe I’ll comment again. 🙂 Thank you for doing this for NH ladies!

    • Mary

      “The growth, development and maturing of sex and spirituality throughout your marriage (so many of us think we have to be a perfect example straight out of JPII’s TOB as soon as we get married).”
      I think this is important, and something I struggle with. Also, as a new mother, something that touches on how to integrate all aspects of our womanhood. (Actually, Simcha, I would love to read a column on this. Please!)

  • chloe_of_hil

    1) the idea that the opposite of love is use and what each looks like both inside and outside of marriage

    2) how it is okay to work with your husband to make sex enjoyable for you too- it’s not just a gift to him, but a gift of each of you to the other- maybe, as another commenter said, where to find good information about healthy Catholic sexuality

    3) how to heal from misperceptions, damage, or overscrupulosity caused by the influences of our society regarding sexuality

  • MamaK

    My husband and I were both chaste when we married, but I have friends who were not. They are faithful Catholics now, but they have marital issues that they think stem from how their relationship began. One woman told me that it is hard for her husband to develop a deep relationship with her outside of sex – sex was the beginning of their relationship and it seemed stuck there (at least with the man). So how does a spouse break past that barrier? Sometimes Catholic women also carry guilt, and as they become more pious have hang-ups about sex as associated with their previous sin. That also doesn’t help the growth of the relationship as the husband sees that the sex problem is a religious/Catholic woman thing. I don’t know how to answer. I usually just try to be sympathetic and quietly thank God for my husband.

  • MaureenTeresa

    Simcha, I was wondering if you knew of any places on the internet/websites where adolescent Catholic girls could start a blog that would reach a lot of people? My friends and I are interested in such a project.

    • MaureenTeresa

      I would appreciate suggestions from any of Simcha’s readers as well.

    • simchafisher

      Well, anyone can start a free Blogger or WordPress blog. How to reach a lot of people is what most bloggers are trying to figure out!

      The basic plan is to figure out exactly what the focus will be, write several posts, and then start sending links to established bloggers, hoping they will help you out with a mention. You can also leave comments on other people’s blogs and articles, hoping people will follow you back to your blog.

      Any other tips, anyone?