TF: Best-kept secrets

Tribulation Force, pp. 425-426

The double ceremony in Bruce’s office two weeks later was the most private wedding anyone could imagine.

If you’re getting married and your dad is getting married at the same time in the same room by the same preacher, then I can actually imagine a much more private wedding ceremony.

Only the five of them were in the room. Bruce Barnes concluded by thanking God for all the smiles, the embraces, the kisses and the prayer.

And that’s it for the wedding. Three sentences.

I’m all for small, understated weddings, but this one doesn’t strike me as private as much as it is exclusive. Bruce conducted this ceremony the same way he has done everything else at New Hope Village Church — with all of his attention focused on his “inner circle” and the rest of the congregation ignored, excluded and literally shut out.

This is another place where these books accurately, if accidentally, portray an unattractive aspect of life in too many local churches. Many churches — particularly nondenominational, independent churches like NHVC — are like this, with a small, exclusive clique at the core and everyone else treated as a nameless, faceless periphery.

Bruce is a terrible pastor. He has failed as a leader to train other leaders (usually a sign of a desire to acquire and cling to power) and he has failed as a pastor, as a “shepherd,” to learn about any of his parishioners beside his three favorites.

This seems to still be the case, even after those favorites have moved out of state and no longer even attend the church. When was the last time anyone other than his “inner circle” was welcomed in his study? When has he ever celebrated a wedding or a baptism with any other member of his congregation?

Nondenominational churches like New Hope tend to be vaguely Baptist, so baptisms for infants wouldn’t likely be part of their congregational life. But Baptists still conduct infant “dedications,” and there’s no hint that Bruce has performed any such blessings, even during the post-Rapture baby boom that would likely have followed after the disappearance of every child on Earth (the authors never mention such a thing — in the first two books we’re told of one and only one post-Rapture pregnancy).

We’re actually given a rather strong hint that Bruce has never performed such a ceremony or in any other way discussed the matter of children born during this final brief era of the Great Tribulation. This would certainly be an urgent and anxious topic for many of the newly childless families in his congregation, but the way Chloe and Buck talk about this, it’s clear that Bruce hasn’t provided any guidance on the topic.

Instead of such practical and pastoral matters, Bruce seems to have interacted with his congregation only by lecturing them on the End Times prophecies he sees in the book of Revelation. This is, apparently, the only thing he has preached on for the past year and a half. Granted, this is an important subject for a congregation living in the Great Tribulation, but Revelation is only 22 short chapters long — about 400 verses. That works out to about 15 pages in my Bible — so even a slow reading would take at most a couple of hours. After a year and a half, they should have the entire book memorized. Bruce has had more than enough time to fully acquaint his congregation with all the prophecy they need to know and still also be their pastor, bearing their burdens and attending to their spiritual and emotional needs.

I think Bruce’s cliquish exclusiveness and his utter disregard for the daily lives and spiritual state of most of his congregation was something he learned from his old boss. I think the Rev. Vernon Billings was like this — which is probably at least partly why Bruce wound up getting left behind.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that the Rev. Tim LaHaye was like this when he was senior pastor at Scott Memorial Baptist Church, but Billings is rather explicitly modeled after LaHaye.

So after “the most private wedding,” what’s next? Do they reserve a corner booth somewhere so the five of them can celebrate the most private wedding reception? Not quite:

Buck asked if he could see the underground shelter Bruce had constructed. “It was barely under way when I moved to New York,” he said.

“It’s the best-kept secret in the church,” Bruce said as they made their way down past the furnace room and through a secret doorway.

“You don’t want church members to use it?” Buck asked.

“You’ll see how small it is,” Bruce said. “I’m encouraging families to build their own. It would be chaos if the church body showed up here in a time of danger.”

It’s for their own good, really — their own safety. The best way for Bruce to look after his flock — the kindest, most caring thing — was for him to use their tithes and offerings to build a shelter for his personal benefit and that of his select inner circle. Should the nameless families of his congregation have any left over money after those tithes and offerings, Bruce encouraged them to build their own personal shelters too. That would ensure that he and his inner circle are spared the chaos of being faced with others in need.

Buck was astounded at how small the shelter was, but it seemed to have everything they would need to survive for a few weeks. The Tribulation Force was not made up of people who would hide out for long.

We’ve already seen that this is no hollow boast. Buck himself was forced to go into hiding back in the first book of the series. He had learned too much about the secret machinations of the conspiracy of international Jewish bankers led by Stonagal and they were trying to have him killed. He went into hiding, but he wasn’t the kind of person who would hide out for long. Instead of cowering in the shadows, he ran directly to the Antichrist himself, to cower openly, face to face, begging for protection and ultimately agreeing to a deal in which he buried the story, helping to preserve the conspiracy’s secrets, in exchange for his own safety.

The five huddled to compare schedules and discuss when they might see each other again.

Kiss the bride, tour the secret apocalypse shelter, then get out your calendars to plan a time for the next meeting. This is the worst wedding reception I’ve ever heard of, and I grew up among fundamentalist Baptists who regarded dancing and drinking as sins.

A page later they settle on a time:

They set the date, four in the afternoon, six weeks later. They would have a two-hour intensive Bible study in Bruce’s office and then enjoy a nice dinner somewhere.

That “two-hour intensive Bible study” will, yet again, be focused on the End Times timeline and sequence of judgments, likely covering such topics as “Why it’s really foolish to try to plan six weeks ahead during the Great Tribulation.”

Before they parted, they held hands in a circle and prayed yet again. “Father,” Bruce whispered, “for this brief flash of joy in a world on the brink of disaster, we thank you and pray your blessing and protection on us all until we meet back here again.”

Bruce’s prayer for divine protection is — like his shelter and his work as a pastor — focused exclusively on himself and his inner circle. That callously dim, dimly callous self-centeredness, coupled with the smug confidence he and Buck both express in their exclusive little shelter, calls to mind one of Jesus’ parables:

The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, “What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?” Then he said, “I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.” But God said to him, “You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?” So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich towards God.

That parable, as it turns out, tracks pretty closely with Bruce’s own destiny in the few pages that remain of this chapter and this book. And yet I don’t think this was the lesson the authors intended to teach us by telling us about Bruce and his exclusive little shelter.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

    My 43 words.  Chloe still gets short shrift, but at least it’s more honest…

    Buck’s focus was on Chloe, but Rayford loomed in the
    periphery.  “Capt – Chloe, I promise to
    love you, and you only. I will honor you above all others, above even my own wife.  Life!” 
    Frowning, Chloe haltingly stated her vows.  Rayford smirked.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    So getting from Scena A to Scene B involves paragraphs at a time describing logistics, but the central characters’ wedding merits only a few sentences.

    And people pay Jenkins for writing classes.

  • http://stealingcommas.blogspot.com/ chris the cynic

    I should be studying right now, so of course it is the ideal time to not study and instead correct my earlier mistake by create weddings that are the correct number of words long.

    Thing one:

    “Do you?”
    “I do.”
    “You?”
    “Of course.”
    “I now pronounce you man and wife, may Cthulhu eat you last of all.”

    Madness spread throughout the land and masses huddled in fear of monsters beyond imagination.  But for one moment the cultists knew joy.

    Thing two:

    “Are you sure about this?” the pastor asked.
    “Yes,” Megan said.
    “It’s just-”
    “We want to spend the rest of our lives together, even if Jesus sends us to Hell for it,” Ziva said.
    “Ok,” he said. “I’m convinced.”  So he married them.

    Thing three:

    Words cannot adequately describe what happened that day, and so I will not try.  It is enough to know that they loved each other and that on that day, in front of their friends and families, they were married.  And it was perfect.

    Thing four:

    The author shows a complete lack of priorities.  While travel plans are formed off screen without a hint of description the wedding is described for seemingly interminable pages.  Paragraphs spent on feelings, love, and other meaningless triva.  “Where are the logistics?” I ask.

  • Anonymous

    Real question here, not rhetorical snark:

    Independant non-denominational churchs like New Haven here, they don’t have like a big authority giving body behind them like the Anglicans or Eastern Orthodox or Catholics, at least they don’t HAVE to.

    So does having a pastor officiate the wedding make it any more legitimate “in the eyes of god.” Or could they have just found a quite corner gave their vows to each other and been married?

  • Camparisoda

    Wait, God let women get pregnant again post-rapture? I thought the whole point of rapturing everyone below the age of accountability was so that they didn’t have to go through the tribulation and judgment, and he goes along and lets people make MORE?!

    That’s ridiculously cruel.

  • http://stealingcommas.blogspot.com/ chris the cynic

    No.  The point isn’t to spare them from the Tribulation.  The point is that God has a sorting algorithm that, at any given point in time, treats children below the age of accountability as if they are Saved.

    At the Rapture the Saved are taken, and so the children are taken along with them.  After the Rapture the Saved are left to fend for themselves, so the children are treated in the exact same way.

    The only way Left Behind’s theology would prevent children from being born after the Rapture would be if it likewise didn’t allow people to be saved after the Rapture, but that would defeat the entire purpose of the Tribulation as it is conceived in that theology.

    The fact that Rayford and Buck and Bruce and Chloe can convert means that there is nothing preventing Saved people from coming into being so, by the logic of Left Behind, there is likewise nothing preventing children from coming into being.  Well, I suppose that I should amend that.  The fact that they are able to be saved and remain on earth, if getting saved post-Rapture were to send you straight to Heaven, then that would prevent pregnancy.

    It’s not moral or reasonable or nice or right or anything to that effect, but it is one of the few things in the series that is actually internally consistent.

    If you want to know what’s going on with children, take a look at the Saved.  The Saved go to Heaven when they die, so children do as well, the Saved are Raptured, so the children are as well, the post-Rapture Saved are forced to endure the Tribulation, so the post-Rapture children are as well, the Saved are allowed into the Millennial Kingdom instead of being cast into fire, so the children are as well.

    Children below the age of accountability are always treated as if they are Saved.  Loretta has to endure the Tribulation, so they do too.

  • http://www.ghiapet.net/ Randy Owens

    Now that gives me an interesting idea.  What if, indeed, the logic used said that Saved people couldn’t exist on Earth, so as soon as someone said The Magic Words, they were taken up?  You would have a trickle of people still disappearing after The Event, but the Saved couldn’t ever communicate their knowledge of God & His Prophecies to anyone else, because as soon as it comes to them (assuming a degree of entanglement between the realization and the words), *poof*!

  • WingedBeast

    The answer is to just do it in public.  Say the sinner’s prayer in public.  Then people can take the risk themselves.

  • http://www.ghiapet.net/ Randy Owens

    I was imagining a bunch of scientists (in white lab coats, of course) in a medical or psychological laboratory, standing around the test subject, waiting for him (or her) to say the words, and he does, and goes *poof*…
    …and then the scientists realize the implications, and all go *poof*.
    An administrator starts wondering why the scientists haven’t shown up or clocked out or answered their text messages, goes looking for them, finds the empty room, and *poof*….
    Eventually, they’re sending in a robot with a camera, figuring it’s the only way to be safe, whatever the electromagnetic disturbance or whatever it is can’t get to them through that, and when it gets in there, and they see it’s not finding any bodies, the robot’s controllers and observers… *poof*
    It probably ends up with the facility being encased in concrete and lead, just to be on the safe side.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    Speaking of poofing? You know what’s a seriously like holy crap OMG WTF horror story about random disappearances? The teenagers who’re “left behind” only discover little by little what’s really going on around them.

    The Gone Series.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_%28series%29

    Jerry Jenkins could have taken some good lessons from this series had it been around when he started LB.

  • Lunch Meat

    My wedding, in 43 words:

    “Where’s the veil?” “How did Katherine* get left at the hotel??” “I’m going to throw up…” “The slide show’s not working!” But when the dust, confusion, and flower petals cleared, the only important thing was “My faith, my fidelity, and my love forever.”
    *The maid of honor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/steve.condrey Steve Condrey

    I just realized that they missed a perfect opportunity for Rayford to show off in his airline pilot’s uniform again!  Now that he’s working for Satan Inc., I’m sure it’s really blinged out–gold braid, epaulets, lots of scrambled eggs on the hat, etc.

  • Anonymous

    43-word wedding:

    The blushing bride blubbered into her bouquet, grasping at her groom as he groped her in turn.  Flowers, feathers and frills filled the festive hall; and the D.J., in his most dashing duds, deliberately delayed presenting the pair until the party hit peak.

  • http://twitter.com/Jenk3 Jen K

    Kingston points out: In all fairness, we’re seeing this through the eyes of Buck and Ray, and it’s theoretically possible that Bruce is being a good shepard to his flock during the times we don’t see them. . . . 

    Until that turning away the rest of the congregation to keep their shelter exclusive. 

    It’s almost like the authors wanted to remove any hope of Bruce’s redemption.  This makes it clear that Bruce is a callous, secretive mouthpiece who hates the rabble. Bruce serves Buck and Ray and their families. Nobody else is cool enough.  

  • Techybros

    The Miracle of Dunkirk is a heroic tale of selfless heroism as hundreds of British boats headed to the French coast to help evacuate thousands of Allied troops as they retreated from the Nazis. Dunkirk itself was a massive defeat and the Nazis scored all of the weapons, ammo, and tanks left behind. To the British that didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting their soldiers home, and God knows how many civilians personally volunteered.

    I’m brining this up to show how totally out of touch with basic human compassion these books are. If Bruce Billings was in charge of the evacuation he would have only arranged special evacuation to his little clutch of officer butt-buddies and left the thousands of troops to rot on the beaches. All because he would want to avoid all that chaos evacuating thousands of other troops would cause. Also some of those troops probably weren’t Real True Christians so the probably should get what’s coming to them.

  • Dragon’s Phoenix

    Jerry Jenkins writing on 8 basic writing blunder: 2. Answering-the-phone cliché
    Honestly, I couldn’t make this stuff up!

  • Anonymous

    #6 is just as bad, if not worse: “Pass on the Preachiness.”  Jenkins gives an example of what to avoid.

    I see this problem in many manuscripts: all talk, straw men, plots
    contrived to prove a point but little that grabs and subtly persuades
    the reader.

    I just- I- what?  Has he never read his own books?

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    I just- I- what?  Has he never read his own books?

    Maybe they were hard lessons learned from the experience of many failures?  

    But wait, then why does he keep making them?  

  • WingedBeast

    Okay, have someone put it on youtube before they say the words themselves.

  • http://www.ghiapet.net/ Randy Owens

    “It’s a virus! It’s spreading through YouTube! Kill the Internets!”

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    “It’s a virus! It’s spreading through YouTube! Kill the Internets!”

    It is worse than that.

  • Consumer Unit 5012

    This is starting to sound like The Ring

  • http://www.ghiapet.net/ Randy Owens

    This is starting to sound like The Ring

    You did see FearlessSon’s reply to me, and click his link, right?

  • WingedBeast

    “First you see the ring, and then you die… or get raptured… which, considering this is Left Behind God is pretty much just as bad.”

  • Anonymous

    Thank you all for the kind words and prayers regarding my brother.  Please continue to keep me in your prayers.

    We did not get the outcome that we had hoped for.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    Thank you all for the kind words and prayers regarding my brother. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.

    We did not get the outcome that we had hoped for.

    I am sorry to hear that, aun.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    :( I’m sorry to hear that. My continued best wishes for you and your family.

  • Lori

    I’m so sorry. You and your family remain in my thoughts. 

  • cyllan

    I’m so sorry to hear that, anunursa.  Know that our thoughts continue to be with you in this difficult time.  Also, if there is any concrete thing that I (and I suspect others) can do to help, please let us know.

  • Anonymous

    aunursa, I am so sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

  • cyllan

    Grrr, discus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    I’ve figured out the key to L&J’s theology: the Rapture is the implementation of the Anti-Life Equation.

  • E-foster

     also, why was Hattie a wanton slut for being strung along BY RAYFORD for years without anything happening, but Rayford cheating on his wife at a Christmas party was no big deal?

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    Because gender roles, that’s why.

  • Kit

    I cannot even believe the wedding is over in three sentences. I’m not reading the books, instead following along with the summaries here to save my brain and my time, so I was long awaiting this Rayford+Buck hand-picked wedding scene.

    Anyone remember the scene in “Wedding Crashers” where the love interest is a bridesmaid during the world’s corniest vows? About sailing? Refresher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VI4THiO4WI

    I was CERTAIN Rayford was going to exchange the same vows, keeping the titles of “Captain” and “First Mate” and substituting cheesy metaphors about flight.

  • vaiyt

    “Revelation is only 22 short chapters long — about 400 verses. That works
    out to about 15 pages in my Bible — so even a slow reading would take
    at most a couple of hours. After a year and a half, they should have the
    entire book memorized.”

    The main problem is that reading Revelation does NOT prepare you to LaHaye’s apocalypse. You need careful guidance to correctly jump from John to Daniel and back again, and to decipher the “literal” meanings of things (like horseman on a white horse with a crown riding out to conquer = Eastern European diplomat becomes the pacifist tyrant of the whole world)