The immaculate connections

I am deeply impressed by Stacey Dames latest blog entry at the Christian Post. It’s titled: “Madonna’s New Age End Time Satanism…it is reappearing in these end days. IT DID NOT BEGIN WITH THE SUPERBOWL.”

It's Lourdes' mom. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I can’t begin to know how to describe such things, but this is one of the best examples of whatever-it-is that I’ve encountered. It’s kind of astonishing. Here’s a taste, with the original bolding and idiosyncratic spellings unaltered:

In honor of the One who saved me, I now write about this woman who has been used willingly since 1983 by satan and the New World Order elites to further their endtime agenda.

Madonna is not merely an untalented little pop tart singing sweet nothings into the ears of the masses that can be considered harmless or to no effect. Quite the opposite actually. I cannot cover every single aspect of her career as there is far too much to go over and I do not want to set my eyes and mind on such things having been delivered from them. So please proceed with caution while reading. I also understand that this article will have very little appeal to those who still worship her and those who followed her career. However, it is my prayer that this post will shine His light on the darkness of this woman’s evil career that has ensnared millions, including Christians, and open countless spiritual eyes and ears in these last days.

There has been much discussion over Madonna’s Superbowl halftime performance. Apparently, some are just now figuring out the occult world of Madonna. However, if you travel back in time you will connect the dots that lead up to this event. Madonna has been involved in satanism from the very beginning. For reasons I have yet to figure out, the global elite are still intent on using this now fifty-something woman concerning their end time agenda. There is something they still need from her…to do, or say, as we shall see.

Dames then continues for 4,000+ words examining very nearly “every single aspect” of Madonna’s career in search of the signs — subtle and oracular though they may be — that support the thesis that the pop star is a key player in the Illuminati’s plans for the End Times. It’s very thorough. It’s very sincere. And it’s utterly, fantastically, dizzyingly bonkers.

It’s so loopy that I’m unable to articulate my response into a coherent whole. Here then are some staggered thoughts.

1. I believe that Stacey Dames believes what she has written. Or, more precisely, I believe that she so fully wants and needs to believe it that she has forgotten that not believing it is an option. But I cannot believe that the editors of the Christian Post believe it. This particular form of wackiness is too idiosyncratic to be persuasive to those not wrapped up in the specific variety of wacky that Dames is trapped in. The folks running the Christian Post have to know she’s nutty. I suspect they know and simply do not care. This is further evidence that they’re running a cynical, disingenuous con game. They don’t publish articles because they believe them to be true or because they believe them to be necessary, helpful or “edifying” (to use a favorite evangelical word). They publish articles because gullible people will read them and the Christian Post can profit from ad sales.

2. Dames perceives herself as an orthodox, mainstream Christian. Readers of this post are presumed to know and to share all of her assumptions about the existence and intent of the Illuminati. This is, to Dames, an essential and central aspect of Christianity — so much so that she sees no need to explain any of her references to this diabolical global conspiracy of occultists plotting to bring about the reign of the Antichrist. That is something she just assumes every Christian knows as though it were outlined in the Apostle’s Creed. Dames’ urgent need to share her expertise isn’t about warning other Christians of this conspiracy or of the “fact” that we are living in Darby’s End Times. In her view, knowing such things is not a matter of expertise, simply of basic, normal Christianity. She has, in other words, been the victim of pastoral malpractice. To use another favorite evangelical phrase, she has been “led astray.”

3. Dames knows her Madonna. This is the expertise she brings to this post. It’s a comprehensive, intimate familiarity with the artist’s entire catalog. She begins by telling us:

Before I was saved by the Lord, I used to be a HUGE Madonna fan. Obsession probably doesn’t begin to describe it. I even had collectibles worth a decent amount that I destroyed after I was pulled from the wreckage by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The exhaustive survey of Maddona’s career that follows proves she’s not exaggerating there. Stacey Dames was a fan. She loved Madonna’s music and found joy in it. And now that joy has been taken away from her, twisted into a source of guilt and shame. This again is pastoral malpractice. Turning legitimate pleasure into shame is a form of abuse. What some warped pastor did to Dames’ love of Madonna is a sin.

4. Madonna earned the admiration Dames once had for her. The lady is a pop mega-star for a reason. She deserves to have fans and the fans that she has are rewarded. I’m not one of those fans, and I’m not saying she’s Mozart or Picasso, but if you like danceable pop music, she’s a hero. She’s a better-than-average songwriter, a skilled dancer, and a singer who knows what it is she can do with a song. Her real genius as an artist — and here I do mean genius — isn’t so much her music itself as all the trappings that surround it. And I don’t just mean her genius for grabbing attention or for reinventing herself to match the moment in pop culture. Fashion, choreography and music video are all legitimate art forms and Madonna has helped all of those art forms to advance. It wasn’t wrong for Dames to have admired Madonna for all of that. It was wrong for someone to have convinced her not to.

5. Madonna isn’t a threat. Like The Simpsons, Madonna made headlines and was subject to boycotts in the 1980s because of a backlash against her cheeky irreverence. And, as with The Simpsons, that backlash eventually subsided once people paid enough attention to look past the surface at the underlying message, which was actually innocent, positive and optimistic. The message of most of Madonna’s biggest hits is indistinguishable from that of most wholesome G-rate children’s movies: You’re special, follow your dreams, look past appearances, “Open Your Heart,” “Express Yourself.”

If you want to understand the contemporary Comstocks, consider their opposite reactions to Madonna’s videos for “Material Girl” and for “Like a Prayer.” Not a peep about the first — a satire that they approved of because they didn’t perceive it as satire. But the second led to an uproar and a boycott. Praise of “cold hard cash” is fine. A story in which a black man falsely accused of sexual assault is portrayed as a holy saint before being freed from jail — that was perceived as wholly unacceptable.

6. Dames’ post refutes the idea of sensible centrism. Those who promote the Golden Meh — condemning partisanship and assuring us that the truth can always reliably be found somewhere in the moderate middle — are always urging us to seek common ground and to compromise. OK, what would that mean here?

Stacey Dames posits that a global conspiracy of Jewish occultists, liberals and secular humanists a plotting to bring about the reign of the Antichrist and that Madge is somehow playing a vital role in this satanic plot. It doesn’t seem that this view would allow Dames to meet the rest of us half way. But what would it entail for the rest of us to “compromise” or find “common ground” with this idea? Dames’ thesis is full-gonzo loony — should we all become half-gonzo loony in an effort to find common ground?

7. Illuminati, Madonna, abortion, gays — it’s all the same. The real core of Dames’ message here is indistinguishable from the anti-abortion and anti-gay articles that make up the bulk of the content on the Christian Post. She creates her own entry point into the culture war, but every culture-war argument requires this same conspiratorial mind-set, this same belief in a nefarious, global, coordinated assault by secretive, evil, Satanic baby-killers. Nothing Dames says here isn’t also being said by Charles Colson and Rick Santorum: Be afraid; they are evil; they are everywhere; they are after your children; and it’s them against us.

Dames’ particularly loopy variation of this theme just illustrates that the alleged proximate subject of all such arguments doesn’t ever matter much. For Dames, as for all culture warriors, facts are pliable things. Reality is a pretext, not something objective to be learned about and studied. Reality is a blank screen onto which to project titillating nightmares as a context for imagining heroic fantasies. The particular form of the monsters in that nightmare doesn’t matter — bogeymen, goblins, ghosts, vampires, gays, abortionists, pop singers. All that matters is that they are evil, and therefore we are good. They are attacking, and therefore we must defend. They are everywhere, and therefore we must not trust anyone or anything.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    I’ve heard the term AC/DC referring to being bisexual. :P

  • Ken

     

    THIS IS A COMMA “,”
    PLEASE USE SOME! WE HAVE PLENTY TO SHARE! THEY WON’T RUN OUT!

    You may want to, be careful. Ms. Dames, gives me, the impression that she is, one of those people, who lurches, from one end, of the spectrum, to the other, and, personally, I find the over-use, of the comma, to be far, far, more, annoying than, the omission.

  • Lori

    No one’s ever heard of that term referring to electricity.

    When you say “someone older” do you mean like 12, or an adult? If an adult said that to you then I swear I’m going to cry.

    The irony of all the Satanist idiocy about AC/DC is that they were making a reference to electricity and only found out later that the term was slang for bisexual. They formed the band when they were all pretty young and they were so naive at the time that they just had no clue. Not exactly primo devil worshipers there. When the older brother of one of the guys (I can’t remember which one) clued them in they decided that it was too late to change the name and they really didn’t care any way.

  • http://www.nicolejleboeuf.com/index.php Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

     

    @099fb591b48898d10a3e8609d81df286:disqus  How the hack did “Take On Me” wind up being evil?

    I know, right? Inquiring minds want to know!

    My best guess? The character played by the band’s lead singer is actually A DEMON FROM HELL (because comic books are evil, right?) whose evilness is confirmed by the GODLY NASCAR DRIVERS wanting to kill him; and so the lady in the diner is guilty of SUMMONING INCUBI TO SATIATE HER SLUTTY LUST. Also, she disappears without paying for her coffee, which is also evil. (But disappearing without leaving a tip would have been fine.)

    Like I said, just a guess.

    (Have I mentioned that “Take On Me” is one of my favorite videos of all time?)

  • http://www.nicolejleboeuf.com/index.php Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

    @Makabit:disqus He referred to them at the end as ‘these makeup-wearing, high-heel-stomping, Beth-loving demons’.

    I just want to take this sentence home and pet its cute little head. “Beth-loving demons” — SO MUCH WIN. Would you please give the author this internet for me?

  • http://timothy.green.name/ Timothy (TRiG)

    Ken, that’s wanton cruelty to the common comma.

    Punctuation: not to be played the same way as Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

    TRiG.

  • http://thetalkingllama.wordpress.com/ SketchesbyBoze

    “She creates her own entry point into the culture war, but every
    culture-war argument requires this same conspiratorial mind-set, this
    same belief in a nefarious, global, coordinated assault by secretive,
    evil, Satanic baby-killers.”

    This is called Gnosticism, and it flourishes because contemporary American Christianity is more Gnostic than it is Christian.

  • Randall M

    I’m amused that the only reason she can think of for a singer to kiss a portrait of Elvis Presley is that she is showing her satanic roots.  I mean, it’s not like Presley had anything to do with Music, or that he was ever considered attractive to women, or anything like that.

  • http://jesustheram.blogspot.com/ Mr. Heartland

     Yeah, there was already a pretty clear resentment towards fame and youth underlying this Hollywood Illuminati/NWO claptrap.  Especially if it’s some uppity young sexy girl getting rich off of looking sexy instead of doing real man’s work.  And I love how Fred pointed out that this here Dames has quite obviously never stopped being a hardcore Madonna fan.  She simply has to keep track of every Madonna song, Madonna video, Madonna live performance, or Madonna interview because…. gathering evidence you know.  Sure her involvement with ‘Them’ has been beyond dispute to you an me for years now but there are Sheeple out there who still need convincing.  So it’s off to the heroic work of listening to “True Blue: Deluxe Edition” for me. 

    It makes me wonder if there could be millions of rural, elderly White folks who secretly adore Jay-Z or Lady Gaga.  And that you just need to go to WND or DavidIcke.com to find them. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charity-Brighton/100002974813787 Charity Brighton

     It’s definitely a good cover. I wonder how these line-items appear on their budgets. “$4000 a month at a gay bar? Well, I guess it’s the only way to keep an eye on those people…”

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    “I must obsess over sex* all the time. Otherwise Satan wins!”

    * The obsessions these types have about sex have nothing to do with the realities of sex, but that’s okay because Satan. 

  • Anonymous

    My best guess? The character played by the band’s lead singer is actually A DEMON FROM HELL (because comic books are evil, right?) whose evilness is confirmed by the GODLY NASCAR DRIVERS wanting to kill him; and so the lady in the diner is guilty of SUMMONING INCUBI TO SATIATE HER SLUTTY LUST. Also, she disappears without paying for her coffee, which is also evil. (But disappearing without leaving a tip would have been fine.)

    Obligatory Pipe Wrench Fight link.

  • http://www.nicolejleboeuf.com/index.php Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

    Precisely!

  • Sgt. Pepper’s Bleeding Heart

    It’s Acca Dacca round these (bogan) parts so no confusion between the band and the sciency stuff.

  • Diona the Lurker

    The version I heard was that AC/DC stood for “Against Christ Devil’s Children”.

  • Ian needs a nickname

    “Are you sure this guy’s not mentally ill? ”

    I strongly suspect she is, but I agree with Fred that her state of mind is not the most disturbing thing on display here.  The pastor who sank her neck deep in the culture war and the editor who published this were probably both quite sane, as is most of the audience to whom the editor was pandering.

  • Matri

    The scariest ones are the supposedly sane readers who fervently, desperately want it to be true.

  • vsm

    And I love how Fred pointed out that this here Dames has quite obviously never stopped being a hardcore Madonna fan.

    Hey, at least she knows what she’s talking about, unlike your average right-wing culture warrior. Granted, it didn’t make her interpretation of Madonna all that persuasive, but it’s a good start.

  • Tricksterson

    I was confused when I heard that because to the best of my then and present knowledge “AC/DC” was a reference to bisexuals.  Unless of course one considers bisexuals satanic, which I suppose most people who think AC?DC is a satanic reference would.

  • Tricksterson

    Normally I would cosder leaving without paying or leaving a tip evil, but I would say that being sucked into another dimension is an acceptable excuse.

  • Tricksterson

    So falling in love with a girl named Beth is evil.  If she prefers to be called Elizabeth or Liz, or Lizzie does that still count or are those names morally acceptable?

  • Tricksterson

    Doing “real man’s work” would also be sinful for a woman.  Remeber religious zealot Rule Number One Pertaining To Women:  They Can’t Win.

  • Guest

     Well, it’s now an earworm in my head, so I consider that pretty damn evil.

  • Tricksterson

    In a weird way her ranting is kind of reassuring because at least she’s using a nonviolent outlet for her obssession which otherwise might turn towards a John Lennon/Selena outcome.

  • Lonespark

    People who hate darkness and nuance…I’d think they were serving Bright Itempas, but even he’s not that much of a clueless jerk.

  • http://www.nicolejleboeuf.com/index.php Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

     This is why you should always pay for your meal in full, including tip, before opening up a work of fiction (if comic books, why not novels?) at the table. You never know when it’ll happen to you.

  • http://www.nicolejleboeuf.com/index.php Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

     

    @099fb591b48898d10a3e8609d81df286:disqus So falling in love with a girl named Beth is evil.  If she prefers to be
    called Elizabeth or Liz, or Lizzie does that still count or are those
    names morally acceptable?

    “Elizabeth” and “Lizzie” are fine alternatives. They don’t scan in the song, so they’re safe from demonic connotations. Liz, being only one syllable, might be equally evil. But maybe not; it’s less euphonious if substituted into the song.

    It’s a toss-up, right? Beth is evil if she inspires KISS to write more Evil! Satanic! music, but then maybe she could be a good influence if she gets the songwriter to come home rather than staying out making music with the boys all night.

    THIS IS TOUGH WHAT IS YOUR OPINION

  • http://thatbeerguy.blogspot.com Chris Doggett

    Sorry for the wall of text, but this is a particular sticking point for me.
    Here’s the fluff-text of Ms. Dane’s byline:

    Former professional sinner saved by the Lord Jesus Christ. I have a calling. I have only so much time to complete this mission as the sands of the hourglass are running down. Tick-tock

    OK, let’s say you have a mission. I mean, lots of people get missions. Navy SEALS have missions. What do you do when you’re given a mission? How do you start?
     
    You TRAIN. You prepare, you study, you gather your tools and your equipment, and you practice. You do these steps for every part of your mission. Soldiers with a mission to destroy a remote enemy base don’t just train with their guns, they hike with their equipment because they have to reach the remote base, they practice their parachuting jumps because they’ll need to parachute in, they work on their map-reading and compass skills because they’ll have to find the place.
     
    Ms. Dane feels she has a mission, to discover truth, and to reveal it to others through writing and speaking, to essentially teach others what she has learned. What’s more, she feels this is a calling, a mission given to her not by earthly agents, but divine ones. That she believes this only makes her horrible writing all the more offensive and disrespectful of that mission, that calling.
     
    If you only have so much time to do a job, then if you have the slightest respect for your duty, do it well! Prepare, train, and study first. Before you loose the arrow, breathe, exhale, and aim.

  • Anonymous

    Gene Simmons used to mock the KISS rumors by claiming it stood for “Kids In Sunday School”, pointing out that it made as much sense as any other interpretation.

    I have only so much time to complete this mission as the sands of the hourglass are running down. Tick-tock

    Ah, the ominous ticking sound of sand in the hourglass.

  • Lori

    I’m stuck on this part:

    Former professional sinner saved by the Lord Jesus Christ. 

    If Dane is a former professional sinner then there’s an opening, right? How do I apply for that? How’s the pay? Does it come with dental? What about vision coverage?

  • Tricksterson

    I wouldsay that “Lizzie” has definte evil connotations as it is sometimes used as a slang term gor lesbian.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul3390 Paul Anderson

    “Illuminati, Madonna, abortion, gays — it’s all the same.”

    Priceless. So funny because it’s so true.


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