I know you’ve heard it all before

I know you’ve heard it all before November 19, 2012

“If you are right now 27 years old or younger, you have never lived through a month that was colder than average.”

“At the very least it’s fun to imagine the newscasters announcing, ‘Exxon is coming ashore across New Jersey, leaving havoc in her wake,’ or ‘Chevron forces evacuation of 375,000.'”

“On the medical evidence made available, the bishops very strongly disapproved of the use of these appliances, more particularly in the case of unmarried persons.”

“I’m pretty sure not a single homosexual in the Western world is unaware that most evangelical Christians believe their desires and/or lifestyle to be sinful.”

“The best way to move beyond a culture war mentality is to listen to one another’s stories, and Justin’s is just the kind of story we need to hear right now.”

“Increasingly, the public understands that letting same-sex couples marry does no harm to the civil institution of marriage, but promotes family stability, rewards loving commitment, and safeguards the interests of children.”

Joey if you’re hurting, so am I …

“Most of all, I’d tell her that the president isn’t going to do anything that will hurt her family or her community or her way of life. She doesn’t need to worry so much. Things are going to be okay.”

“And that’s the problem with all these conservatives claiming they can fix their demographic problem without changing their beliefs: It’s predicated on the assumption that women and people of color are stupid.”

“This is part of our American story and, yes, we do have stories, as in histories, that started before you noticed us.”

“If you won’t support comprehensive immigration reform because it’s the right thing to do, at least support it because there is no future for our state or for your political party without Latinos and the children of immigrants from across the world.”

“We must contest every single inch of ground and delay the baby-murdering, tax-raising socialists at every opportunity. … But in due time, the maggots will have eaten every morsel of flesh off of the rotting corpse of the Republic.”

“In among the letters was a page torn from a notebook. On it, in pencil, with writing that looks increasingly shaky as it goes on, is my grandfather’s own account of what happened to him in no-man’s land.”

“If we started any analysis of international relations with the assumption that war will end badly for all concerned, and that the threat of war will probably lead to war sooner or later, we would be right most of the time.”

It sounded like two or three cars crashing in Piccadilly Circus.”

A society that boos or ridicules the Golden Rule is not a moral society.”

“This is symptomatic of a hollowed out, hyper-rationalistic faith — belief as intellectual assent. In this view apologetics reduces to an intellectual debate.”

Never put anything in email that would cause you serious problems if shared or publicized.”

“We all die. Not all of us get to plan how to die well.”

I don’t want to be dismissed so easily.”

“The lay people had to go ahead and form their groups … and make their complaints directly, to priest and cardinal, demanding the leadership, the moral example they are entitled to.”

“I will, of course, be dropping the occasional pop culture reference to give the impression that I know where your generation is at. I do not.”

Now get your mind out of the gutter, and go get your flu shot.”

Church Sign Epic Fails, ‘Force-Fed Faith’ Edition


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