Postcards from the culture wars

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Love the bigot, hate the bigotry.”

“Conservative evangelicals, your hurt feelings for being called a bigot and for being viewed as reprehensible, your frustration with seeing the ‘equal’ signs on Facebook, and your losses in the so-called culture war are nowhere near the pain inflicted upon many in the LGBT community.”

“One pastor whom you would know, I won’t name him, he said to me this week, ‘we’re losing ground morally all the time,’ and he said, ‘I’ve told my people get ready for persecution because it’s coming, it’s coming to everyone who is a vocal believer in Jesus Christ,’ and he said that he really expects to end his life in prison.”

“I know there’s [a game] called Dungeons & Dragons that literally destroyed people’s lives. I mean, they got this and it was like, almost demonic.”

“Poole’s intention was to teach the power of cultural symbolism. Given the overreaction we’ve seen by the conservative media … it looks like the lesson worked.”

“I’ve got no problem if a school board, a local school board, says we want to teach our kids about creationism.”

“There is no clear place to draw the line once you eliminate the traditional marriage and it’s the same once you start putting limits on what guns can be used.”

“Wheaton is hardly the only evangelical college that’s seeing a growing spectrum of responses toward homosexuality among students, alumni and staff.”

“All they want is to be treated fairly. But unlike most of you, they have to come again here year after year and explain over and over why their love is equal to yours.”

“He and his cohort are losing control, and the people wresting it from them aren’t just indifferent about who’s gay and who isn’t, but are also strange creatures from the future who seem to speak an entirely different language.”

“Justice Scalia and the rest of you haters — game over. You lose. Love wins. Enjoy your future home in the dustbin of history.”

“We get this skewed picture where straight people have relationships and gay people have sex, where straight people have lives and gay people have lifestyles.”

“‘This place has a tan,’ said Ulrich, a 51-year-old postal worker, who wore a wireless phone device in his ear and shorts that revealed a large cross ‘in the colors of the American flag’ tattooed on his calf.”

Plan B and Ella are not abortifacients. Plan B (the morning-after pill) and Ella prevent ovulation and prevent a woman from getting pregnant after sex. Nonetheless, those claiming that the birth control benefit infringes their religious liberty remain happily unconvinced.”

“A not-inconsiderable segment of the GOP base believes ‘the pill’ is infanticide.”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, but the non-religious reasons are simply rationalizations for the religious results they want. They’re the situation ethics of social conservatives.”

“Is it good that people who can believe facts are wrong also believe it is good to walk amongst their peers with hidden firearms on their person?”

“Today’s day and age, has gotten so crazy. Shoot, man, Obama wants to take our guns from us and everything.”

“The effective separation of rat sex from rat procreation may be one of the most important defining marks of our age – and one of the most ominous.”

30 of the Most Offensive, Idiotic, and Bizarre Conservative Arguments Against Marriage Equality

 

  • http://anonsam.wordpress.com/ AnonymousSam

    Ah yes, Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    Quoth Kathleen Geier from the Political Animal blog on the Washington Monthly link:

    This is why, for once, I mostly agree with Ross Douthat’s column today, in which he argues that the growing acceptance of gay marriage is undermining traditional patriarchal marriage. And he says that like it’s a bad thing!

    This. Exactly this. I may be straight and thus have no direct personal stake in gay marriage (like most folks I know people of orientations other than my own which does give me an incidental personal stake) but what I also recognize is that there is an oppressive set of gender norms, and I do in fact want to undermine them. Patriarchy is bad for everyone, straight males like myself included, and supporting the equality of other people helps me to tear down that absurdly idealized family dynamic I find archaic, limiting, and often insulting.

  • Jamoche

    Found on James Nicoll’s LJ: http://james-nicoll.livejournal.com/4299455.html

    http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/295102457/rpgs-are-evil-dark-dungeons-the-movie

    I won the lottery. Not the jackpot, “just” a thousand bucks, and being a typical middle-class middle-manager a thousand dollars is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t going to change my life. So I decided to do something special with the money. I decided I wanted to spend it to bring something that would last; I would spend it to try and bring Jack Chick’s epic 1984 graphic novel / tract to film.

    I wrote Chick Publications explaining this to them and I’m super-excited to announce that I have obtained the video rights to make a movie based on Dark Dungeons.

    As one of James’ commenters puts it: “A sincere retelling of the comic without editorialising, with as much oomph and drama and authority as he possibly can put in – which will, itself, be absurd.” And no, Jack Chick doesn’t get any money from it.

  • Vass

    As someone who used to have pet rats, I cannot stop giggling at the idea that you’d need a pill to separate rat sex from rat procreation. Rats have a LOT of non-procreative sex, usually of the same-sex variety that religious conservatives keep insisting doesn’t exist in nature.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    I remember Stephen Colbert, on his “Threat Down”, listing gay animals as a threat to his argument that same-sex sex is unnatural.

  • http://flickr.com/photos/sedary_raymaker/ Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Catholic religious belief that marriage is between a man and a woman forever, to create life is not bigotry but a religious teaching

    Because a religious belief certainly can’t be bigoted, especially when you’re trying to force it onto everyone.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    I want to say, “That’s nice, you don’t have to ordinate over gay weddings then.”

  • reynard61

    Great, one more movie to MST(3K)!

  • http://anonsam.wordpress.com/ AnonymousSam

    It’s an actual comic/webcomic. Jesus Christ, sick of not interfering in the lives of mortals, travels through time with a band of sidekicks including Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Christopher Columbus and Gary Busey. The first issue is him taking on Hitler.

  • Journ-O-LST-3

    That’s great, and he’s right, you can’t parody Chick, you can just say what he says.

  • Panda Rosa

    Just that one panel justifies this comic!

  • http://shiftercat.livejournal.com/ ShifterCat

    *Slack-jawed astonishment*

  • Nick

    That video makes me wonder how many theonomists/dominionists of the “stone the gays” variety are members of NOM. A good number, I imagine.

  • Rae

    I’m kind of surprised that none of those 30 reasons included “But what about my right not to have gay people get married?!?” (usually because it’s freedom of religion, or it makes him uncomfortable, or whatever) Because that’s the most mind-numbingly stupid one I’ve ever heard. Like, I have trouble trying to argue that, because some of those people genuinely think it’s a right to be able to dictate what religion people around you follow.

  • Baby_Raptor

    What you do with those people is that you remind them that they have the right to *believe* whatever they want…Just like everyone else. And then you sit there, patiently, repeating over and over that allowing marriage equality will have zero effect on their ability to believe anything until one of you gets bored and leaves.

    Normally these people will be the first to go, because if the others in the conversation aren’t actively engaging their BS, they get restless and will go call someone of like mind and whine about how the evil lieberals just don’t tolerate them.

  • Vermic

    Pat Robertson condemning D&D? In 2013? That’s so retro! Thanks Pat, it feels like I’m a kid in 1982 all over again. “Ebony & Ivory” is playing on my Walkman and I’m in my Asteroids T-shirt, moonwalking down the street to see “Grease 2″ for $3.50. Oh, Pat, you’ve made this aging Gen X’er so happy, if only for a moment.

  • Carstonio

    “society would be placing its highest stamp of official government approval on the deliberate creation of permanently motherless or fatherless households for children.” Two mistaken assumptions, among others. The first is that legalization represents governmental or societal approval, instead of a decision that the matter is ultimately a private one. The second is that same-sex marriages will automatically lead to child-raising, as if that’s the only reason that straight couples marry. While gay couples’ children should have the same legal protections as those of straight couples, there’s no reason to assume that most same-sex married couples will pursue parenthood. Sprigg’s argument could easily mean mandatory remarriage for widowed or divorced parents, but he conveniently doesn’t mention that – apparently the intention involved in creating families is all that’s important,

  • EllieMurasaki

    And it’s not as though ‘two of different genders’ is more important than ‘present and loving’ when it comes to characteristics of good parenthood. And, hey, sometimes the lesbian couple’s good friend who played sperm donor, or the gay couple’s good friend who played surrogate mother, hangs around the kids to be a third parent!

  • Carstonio

    It wasn’t all that long ago that mental health professionals believed in the myth of homosexuality being caused by recruitment or gender confusion. Perhaps Sprigg believes that masculinity is taught and that boys raised by lesbians will turn out so confused by gender that they’ll grow up to be “raving queens.” Opponents pay lip service to the alternative of gay male couples raising kids, as if all women desire motherhood and all men seek to be providers only.

  • phranckeaufile

    The best thing about the article linked to by “Enjoy your future home in the dustbin of history” is that it in turn links to this essay. I challenge you not to cry if you read it.

  • fredgiblet

    I now very much want to play Duke Nukem Jesus, cruising through WW2.

    The opening cinematic has bim saying “I came to bring peace” then is zooms out to show him with a BAR in one hand and a Bazooka in the other “Through superior firepower” *crotchthrust*

    I can see it now, he liberates a concentration camp “Who’s the Messiah now bitches?”.

    After defeating Hitler “Looks like only one of us is going to have a thousand-year reign” then he turns the water in Hitler’s body into wine.

  • http://estneillaamata.blogspot.com/ JulianaSundry

    To be fair, in my experience (that is, my experience with being a lesbian raised in a strictly heteronormative environment), there is an association between “being gay” and “being confused about your gender,” only they’ve got cause and effect backwards. When you’re told all your life that people are ONLY attracted to the opposite gender, but you are living evidence that the people who told you that were wrong, it causes a certain degree of cognitive dissonance… and I don’t know how common this is, but part of my struggle to resolve it, once I couldn’t deny it any longer, included questioning whether or not I was really a girl.

    Of course, the way to remove the association is to stop lying to kids about gender and sexuality fitting into exactly two tiny little boxes, so that they can parse through their own identities without being forced to link these two independent pieces…

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    The joke that quickly spread across Washington state last election was, “The Bible says gay people should be stoned. So we legalized gay marriage and pot at the same time.”

  • http://anonsam.wordpress.com/ AnonymousSam

    If it says anything, an actual line of the comic is “Blood of the lamb, motherfucker.” Usually following somebody getting blown to smithereens.

  • Nick

    lolz, nice!

  • LinkyMcLinkers

    Link, pls.

  • http://anonsam.wordpress.com/ AnonymousSam

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