Laundry and the Type A Personality

Last night as I anxiously stood next to the washing machine peering dimly through the laundry room overhead lighting trying to decide whether or not “handwash” was the same as “gentle cycle,” I mused over the fact that I am totally and completely surrounded by overachieving, Type A perfectionist colleagues.

I know this, of course, mainly from all these years of intense personal introspection (the sparks of recognition fly all over staff meeting), but I was reminded again of how many people around me share this characteristic yesterday when all of us on the staff were recruited to participate in the annual “Laundering of the Choir Robes.”

The Laundering of the Choir Robes, for those of you who don’t know, is a radical and ground-breaking Calvary tradition put in place with the coming of our beloved Director of Music, Cheryl Branham, almost two years ago (Cheryl’s wearing the pink shirt in this very cute picture of our program staff on retreat last week). Very quickly after we met her we knew and have been reminded ever since that dirt and disorder are OUT OF THE QUESTION for Dr. Branham. (Which means she is frequently running around pulling her hair out around here.)

At the top of her list were the choir robes, which hadn’t been washed since . . . well, let’s not go there, please.

When Cheryl got her hands on those robes they were mended, washed, fabric-softened and hung within an inch of their lives that first year . . . and the next year . . . and, as this year starts up again . . . well, you guessed it.

Up until this year I have successfully managed to avoid participating in The Laundering of the Choir Robes through various means of avoidance. This year, however, with the 2007-2008 Calvary Choir season about to open this coming Sunday, we were down to the wire. Discussing the problem in staff meeting led to Cheryl’s ah-ha! moment, when she looked around and realized that many members of our staff find themselves in possession of a washing machine and dryer.

And this is how I came to find myself carrying 8 choir robes into the house, tightly clutching a piece of paper Cheryl told me gave directions.  I remember when she gave me the paper thinking with confusion, “directions?,” but true realization of the depths of our staff personality disord . . . uh, types, came when I stood over the washing machine and glanced down just to check if there was anything special I needed to know.

I kid you not, this is what the paper read:

LAUNDERING RECOMMENDATIONS

CBC CHOIR ROBES AND STOLES

PLEASE-

1. Launder robes and stoles separately, just in case the colors run

2. Be sure zippers are fully zipped, not open–an open zipper can rip fabrics

3. Spot-treat stole neckline and any visible spots or stains on the robes

4. Be sure to dissolve detergent in the bottom of the wash tub as it fills with water, then place the piece in the tub

5. Use warm water and gentle cycle to wash

6. Fabric softener is recommended in the rinse to help relax wrinkles

7. Please use low heat to dry, with a softener sheet

8. Remove piece from dryer while still slightly damp and hang to complete drying

9. Stoles require pressing with a warm iron

THANK YOU FOR HELPING US KEEP IT CLEAN IN SANCTUARY CHOIR!

Well.

I read this list and, along with wondering what else they need to do to “keep it clean in sanctuary choir,” my Type-A personality roared to life.   My thoughts as I stood there included but were not limited to: “What if the zipper WAS zipped and then it got UN-zipped and ripped the fabric and I got in trouble for not following directions??!?” “What if I miss a spot??” “And what if I treat a spot but it doesn’t come out?” “Dissolve? Does that take any special skills? “If liquid fabric softener is recommended and used in the wash, do you ALSO use a fabric softener sheet in the dryer? And, can you fabric-soften something too much?”

Well, you get the picture.

I was overwhelmed, and this feeling was not aleviated by the passing comment of my husband: “Hey Amy, in case you didn’t know, this is an iron.”

(Thoughts here edited out for younger and/or more pious readers.)

I got the choir robes in the washer, finally. Don’t tell Cheryl, but I couldn’t find any fabric softener, liquid or sheet, anywhere. And, since I went to bed and left the damp-hanging task of the final load to my unfailingly helpful self-appointed King of All Things Laundry-Related husband, I cannot guarantee that #8 was followed to the full extent of the direction.

But I can say the robes are clean.

And now I think it’s time to return to some serious personal introspection.

And take Cheryl (and a few other members of the Calvary staff!) with me.