The Ugliest Vestment Contest!

Between Ma Beck, the macaw and Roman Sacristan I have a challenge open to everyone… FIND ME THE THE UGLIEST VESTMENT.

Send me a link to your submissions in the com-box OR email them to and I’ll post them all so we can vote. The winner will get a nice kitschy prize. ooo. ahhh.

Deadline for submissions is December 10th. Voting will begin December 14th.

Note: These vestments don’t necessarily have to be Catholic but you’ll get extra points if they are. They can also be any type of vestment not just a hideous chasuble. Spread the word and scour the Internet to see what you can find.

"Pithy and so, so, true. If it were possible, I'd post a million of these ..."

#whyIstayed Why Women Stay In Domestically ..."
"All the best to you, Katrina! We'll miss you. Thanks for sharing your journey with ..."

Ten Years is a Long Run…
"Bon voyage on your new endeavours. And thank you."

Ten Years is a Long Run…
"I will miss your unique, funny, honest voice. Thank you for all the years of ..."

Ten Years is a Long Run…

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • here’s one from “Beauty tips for ministers”

  • I think one rule should be that we can’t use the pope’s vestment set from Austria. That one may be hard to beat.

  • Ok, here’s another one from Beauty tips for ministers…×389.jpgTo quote Diogenes, “We are a spandex people…”

  • donna, not surprising, from the link…” 10% of all sales of my vestments go to Women’s Ordination Conference “

  • I just may have to change to the Eitheopian nan-chacedonic othrodox church to get away from that chasbule–a lifetime of eating teff on an arid moutain top wearing a few rags would be preferable to seeing that!

  • I’ve been searching. My eyes are bleeding!

  • I have seen some mighty ugly vestments in my searching, but I think Mr. Macaw still leads the pack, if we’re judging on 1) bad material2) bad subject matter3) bad use of multiple colors4) ostentatiousness5) hilarity

  • macaw is officially out of the running and not allowed to be used as a submission. It would have to be bc none compare. lol

  • Tim

    Yikes No. 1Yikes No. 1I’m not sure if I’m up for this. Maybe if I take my glasses off it won’t be so bad. Also, there should be a corresponding contest for the coolest vestments. This would be one of my entries:Cool No. 1. The priest should be wearing this at my funeral!

  • Tim- very cool indeed. A good idea for next year maybe. Adding your submissions to the list… congo vestment rflmao!!!extra points for having cardinal sean pictured w. the vestment!

  • Tim, can you make a name for the other vestment? (ex. congo vestment, clerical couture etc.) when I post them I can use the names for the final polling. Its just make keeping all the entries in order. Thanks.

  • Im gonna throw my submission for the shit Episcopalian Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schoriwore at her installation. Barf. A woman in a mitre!

  • Wolfie

    Is this for the bishop of Emerald City?

  • CC -Re: Schori, see my post from today.Great minds think alike.Good God, woman.Have you no sense of decency?;)

  • Too bad I don’t have the picture of what the Father President wore for the Baccalaurate Mass when I graduated from USF (henceforth known as Useless-F). It was silk in the school colors (Green & Gold) in a checkerboard of 18 inch squares. We took to calling it the “Racing Silks” because that’s what it looked like.

  • Drat! Tim stole two of mine.

  • Bishop Pabillo in his episcopal ordination looked like he was wearing a rice sack for a chasuble: yes, he’s not wearing an alb.

  • Thats not vestments. Thats dashiki.but seriously, don’t Roman Catholics have a rule against “remarkable vestments”?

  • How horrible!

  • The problem with the Macaw vestment is that you can easily see it’s a Macaw. If you took the picture and put it on a tree background it’d look good. It’s just highly inappropriate for a vestment.An really ugly vestment is just indescribable (unless you use the words “blob” “some type of shape” or “[censored]”I sent my entries thus far to your email, CC.

  • Tim

    CC, my unofficial names for the other vestment is Convenient Crosshairs or LSD Piechart. Take your pick.

  • Tim

    The Long And Winding Road. I’m guessing it’s from the Beatles fine line of licensed vestments.CrazyQuilt Vestment Strangely enough made by a moth!?!Toxic Waste VestmentFor the Football Liturgy On the bright side, any priest using these would be sure to have 50 yard line seats in hell!Hand Towel. Great for liturgy and cleaning up after finger painting.Fish Monger. On the back it says, “I’d Rather Be Fishing”.The upside of this search is I’m seeing lots of very nice vestments, either on display in museums or in use.

  • I posted this on Ma Beck’s, but see you’re taking the entries.Mine is more tailored than most. For all the women priests in your diocese.Gaudete Sunday

  • This one isn’t nearly as elaborate as some, but the selling point is that it comes in a variety of colors, like shades of grey, greens, purples…Check out Sunrise

  • Oops…don’t know why that happened.Try this Sunrise

  • Ok, here’s my submission.Beat this. Courtesy of CathCon. IThis is why we ought to have an unmarried priesthood. Cos the priest’s kids might just draw on their vestments.I might have submitted something original from around these parts, but it will probably offend some of our readers =)

  • thorn…. oh, sweet Jesus!

  • Tim

    Andrew, that mitre pic is a promo shot from the new horror/slasher film “Holy Slaughter”, right!?!Here’s one more entry:Gail Bird Vestments – Although the page is filled with strikingly horrendous designs, I direct your attention to the “Balloons with Dove Chasuble” design. Not only does it symbolize freedom of spirit and the joy of Christian life but it points out the little known fact that the Holy Spirit descends as a dove but ascends as a helium balloon.

  • While the selection varies from being hopelessly misguided to utterly vile, dishonourable mention must go to the fetching pink number provided by swissmiss, and Tim’s Yikes no 1. The latter is horrible as the priest is supposedly serving in an Orthodox church (lovely iconostasis) – how he was allowed to do so is beyond comprehension. Unless the church is actually Byzantine Catholic … 😛

  • Oh my gosh, this is the funniest contest! It’s almost too easy to find these hideous abominations. My vote is for the first one Thorny posted. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!I think that that rose colored lady’s kimono is quite pretty, but I couldn’t ever picture my priest wearing it. He’d have to “stuff”. That’s just wrong.

  • Jill… blame it all on the Catholics. LOL ;-P

  • Save your votes, I’m still getting submission. Just when I think I’ve spied the one that might be the winner along comes another more vile garment. So you never know.I’ll post all the submissions by category on next Monday the 10th.I will create a poll where everyone can vote on the sidebar.

  • Tim
  • holy moly! the undiscovered world of ebay! yikes, man.

  • As already mentioned:;=lWith an overlay stole no less! (For the record, whenever I see overlay stoles, I secretly hope they catch on something and learn the wearer a lesson!)

  • I’m gonna have some stiff competition. I thought mine were sure things until I saw some of the ones here.It’s sad when something like Tim’s find of: “The Holy Chasuble of the Christmas Star of Calvary and Calvary” looks really, really conservative and traditional.I’m hoping I can squeak out a win because I have some bonus points for the ones I found because they are from Catholic churches.

  • I hope I still make the deadline, I am posting west coast time at 9:32 PM on Sunday the 10th 00 so this should still count.For the link I am about to post, my God in his mercy forgive me. I call this one Welcome to my Daymare. I get an two extra points. This “garment?” actually graces our own church sacristy…and yes, it is in a Catholic sacristy. I feel evil and “mean spirited” for posting it at all…but God forgive me I couldn’t stand it if some garment of much better design “won.” I’m in a b*tch of a mood…so that pushed me over the edge. To his credit, as far as I know this has never graced the back of our pastor, as far as I know. With the possible exception that one time in the past he may have said Mass for a devoted parishioner (at a previous parish) who made his …. this. It has all the consistency of a heavy tablecloth. The photo is unretouched other than cropping the things outside the background. I will not mention the name of my parish. I feel safe that it was not made by the loving hands of a relative of his, unless he has lunatic cousins or neices. The pastor is an only child, and his mother is long dead. As God is my witness virtually all of the other chasuables in the sacristy show good taste and workmanship…. no…someone must have given him this, there’s no way a man of his taste would have conjured this up for himself.

  • Angela Messenger

    Gem, that one looked like someone threw up mustard and kiwi fruit!