man genes…

… forgetting about bottling the boundless energy of youth. I don’t want it. What I want is that gene in men that impairs their vision to see and register a messy house.

I am home sick today. My first sick day in years. Did I use this time to rest? Of course not, I am a woman.

Even when I was up at 3am taking a cold shower to bring down my fever, I sprayed the shower with tilex. A few hours later I was up pacing the kitchen packing Tom’s lunch and fixing him breakfast. When I got him to school at 8am did I come home and crash in the bed and try to recover? Of course not, I am a woman.

I preceded to organize my closets, drag out winter clothes and donate the ones that don’t fit to goodwill, do two homework assignments and a test review, do two loads of laundry, run the dishwasher, scrub the toilet and vacuum.

In fifteen minutes I am out the door to head to class and take the test I crammed for this morning. Then I’ll pick up my son from my mom’s, come home and cook dinner, get him in the tub and ready for bed and then head to bed myself.

I’m friggin nuts.

I want that man gene…

…that gene that enables men to sit on the couch and watch an entire football game without feeling guilty for being unproductive. When I watch TV I’m folding laundry or painting my toenails, or both at the same time.

… that man gene that enables men to come straight home from work and park themselves on the couch oblivious to the dust bunnies and dishes in the sink.

… that men gene that prevents their heads from exploding at the sight of an unmade bed.

How? How do you do it?!

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03293284663334506224 Cookie

    Well, I don’t care if I’m a girl, I have that gene in spades. You can have some of mine. My cleaning urges only come in spurts, I promise.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00165820389106598455 Jenny Z

    I’m with Alli… I often wish I didn’t have the gene. :(Off topic, but I thought about you the other day at the liquor store when I picked this wine up… http://jennyzandstra.smugmug.com/photos/378223320_n5cFH-M.jpghttp://jennyzandstra.smugmug.com/photos/378223247_cZ7X6-M.jpgUnfortunately, I didn’t notice that it had a screw off cap, so it wasn’t very good quality, but I’m totally keeping the bottle…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02288730018702281708 Babs

    I have been nuturing that gene in myself. I am too darned tired to care about dust bunnies, and dishes in the sink have to wait until I’m good and ready to clean ‘em up. I do draw the line at bugs, and other creepy-crawlies: they receive my immediate, obsessive-compulsive attention.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    Giving credit to hubby – he does make the bed. After that it’s a fast downhill slide.I can have the house spotless and go run errands and come home to find it trashed (we both work at home).I am incapable of enjoying my illness in a messy house. Period!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17397215388001264080 Richard Truman Michael

    My mom is EXACTLY the same lol.I’m kinda of a neat freak but if I’m ill I’ll clean up later.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01016763543666450600 Kit

    This is why I married a Marine. They can be trained! Case in point, I have not changed kitty litter since 1993, about 6 weeks after we got married. The cats had come with me….;-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07986690514568554656 Jackie Parkes MJ

    I’m the exception I have a ‘new’ man!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06117353945124506952 The Crescat

    gals, your missing the point. I don’t want a man trained to clean… I want to be more like a man and learn to peacefully coexist with the mess in my house. They have this gene that enables them to relax in a messy house… I want that. Besides, I’d never want a man to clean my house, it would be extra work for me … as I would have to go behind them a re-clean everything they did. I told you, I m friggin nuts!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    We are exactly alike on that one!!You have an award waiting for you at my place:)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03695983747601536978 AlephGamma

    Gene therapy probably won’t work, but testosterone shots may help. Here’s an interesting radio segment on its effects. It’s from NPR so it has that particular spin.http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=1230

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03695983747601536978 AlephGamma
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01186202810919174492 Mac McLernon

    I think I must be heterozygous for this gene – in other words, I’m a carrier… I can ignore mess and do nothing, but I feel guilty about it!!BTW, glad to see you changed your mind about ditching the blog!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598 a thorn in the pew

    I am like that only with work. I always feel like I need to be in here working, even when I am sick. That’s what I get, working from home.

  • Paul Nichols

    You must understand, Kat, the the desire for cleanliness springs from your own feelings of self-worth.You feel “worthy” if you can scan the area around you and feel pleased with the neatness and order. If the area around you is a mess, then you, by proxy, are also a mess.What us men understand is that our sense of self-worth (whether bloated or reasonable), is not affected by that pile of dirty clothes one bit. Not even a smidge.Aaaah, now to relax….

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02598404623048927550 Tom S.

    Hey, don’t ask me. Apparently it is lacking in my DNA as well.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15718783732896413346 ignorant redneck

    It’s not that we’re oblivious–it’s that we are nurturing our “maculine Spirituality” by trying to live like bears.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03118261227449305868 Roman Sacristan

    Hoo-rah! to ignorant redneck! LOL

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06015803653090711740 LarryD

    That’s why guys shuffle when they walk – to kick the stuff out of the way that’s on the floor rather than step on it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03893341464969743583 Jane

    I can try to ignore the mess, but the pressure builds and eventually something in my brain explodes and I just can’t sleep or enter the kitchen or go run errands until that mess is cleaned up. Fortunately, the cycle of pressure-explosion takes about two weeks, so I can usually “ignore” things when I’m ill.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09985375857204313459 The Catholic Journeyman

    ….cleaning with my wife is in pre-requisite order to feel good about relaxing.-Dave


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