online dating…

… I am calling it “research”; it sounds much less cringe worthy.

OK, here goes…

Comparing men from two internet dating sources, one Catholic and the other secular, yielded some interesting results. I was surprised to find the majority of the men from the secular site are more receptive, intellectually curious and spiritually open to Catholicism than the ones I have encountered on the Catholic site.

Now that is not to say all the men from the Catholic site were not enthusiastic about the faith, quite a few were… but less in number if I were strictly making a mathematical comparison.

It could be for the Catholic men that their faith is such an everyday thing it is taken for granted or just a given not worthy of mention. It could also be, for the secular men, the novelty of something different on non-religious dating site that piques a spiritually curiosity. I tend to think the latter more so since as humans we are driven to seek a higher purpose in life. Often those lacking direction spiritually are the ones hungriest for discussions on matters of faith and religion.

I am happy to oblige. A friend calls me a “poacher”… that is meant as a compliment.

My “research” continues…

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  • expat

    You might want to try "Single Booklovers"www.singlebooklovers.comMy husband and I joined in the mid-1980's. We wrote letters to each other for several months (no Internet then) and got to know one another. We met and were married less than a year later. We celebrated our 21st anniversary last May.

  • I met some very, very, very scary men on the Catholic singles site I tried. The one who sticks in my mind most is the man who was on his fourth (yes, fourth annulment, who was looking for a woman to stay at home and raise his children whilst solely attending the Tridentine Rite. This paragon of virtue would have no interests outside of the home, would let him vet all her reading materials, not watch television, would homeschool, and pretty much have "Welcome" stamped on her forehead.

  • M. Swaim

    I met my wife through makeoutclub. one of my friends was on the site, and I was making fun of him, insisting that a site with that kind of name couldn't possibly have any quality women on it. I searched "Chesterton" as a joke, and a single profile came up. The rest is history.

  • Anonymous

    I think this is an indication of American society in general. For instance, when JPII died and my downtown parish hosted a memorial Mass (mid-day, mid-week), my Protestant (male) supervisor and Protestant (female) office manager both had no problem with me leaving and attending, and told me not to bother clocking out – just come back when Mass was done. My supervisor even drove me downtown and dropped me off and picked me up because he knew parking would be scarce and at a premium.My former supervisor – a fallen-away Catholic – and my former office manager – an observant Catholic – (both of who had retired the previous month) would never have allowed this without docking me, if in fact they would have excused me at all. Never mind being kind enough to offer to drive me to Mass.I think some of this illustrates the esteem the non-Catholic world held for JPII and our Church, in spite of the scandals. I think it also illustrates how we Catholics often shoot each other in the back when we should be supporting one another. Unfortunately, simply being a Catholic does not always make us pleasant human beings!Good luck on the hunt – Susan from Akron

  • Anonymous

    I've had a couple of guys want me to quit my job, stay home and be the happy homemaker…I say "Sure..I'm ready for a sabbatical..I need $175K in cash payable the first of the year, EVERY year…that what I would lose in pay and benefits if I quit my job.."That subject was quickly changed…

  • you really remind me of a friend of mine from North Carolina; hmm, I wonder…couldn't be.

  • You know what would be nice?A Catholic Yenta. Matchmaker.Maybe being from so many ethnic groups we don't have so much cohesion as Eastern European Jews. But, I just love that movie Crossing Delancy.But, back to the Catholic/NonCatholic men. Most respectful men are respectful down the line. My sweet dear father isn't Catholic, and he thought the world of JPII. In fact one of my brothers almost was named for him at my father's urging.

  • Anonymous

    Another option to consider is networking….just like looking for a job…let EVERYONE know that you are ready to date..people know people know people, especially locally. Let the gramas in church know, friends, coworkers, and have a calling card ready with name and phone number or email so you don't have to scramble looking for a pen and piece of paper..Yeah–there have been some dog dates, but ya know, I've been on some really FUN ones too, like SuperMotocross (that was way cool), a basketball playoff game (box seats no less), and a wonderful production of The Sleeping Beauty (Ballet)…things I would have never dreamed of going by myself..Also if you're style-challenged–have a friend help you with a hair and wardrobe's amazing how good you feel and attractive you are if you're not stuck in a style that is 10-15 years exhude confidence and that makes you a guy magnet for the RIGHT kind of guy..

  • Yes, I too delved into the word of online dating. VERY creepy guys at the time on so I stuck with plain old and there he was! I knew after our 2nd date and he was baptized 2 weeks before the wedding so a lot of our "dates" prior were spent at catechism class! My best advice to all my girl friends: Imagine yourself at your worst: maybe in labor (or miscarriage) maybe walking around in pj's and messed up hair after surgery and can't brush your teeth on your own; you know the "sickness" part of vows. Would he be the guy right next to you through all of it or would he be too afraid to see you in pain or cry? If it's the later, take another look. If it's the first – that's the beginnings of a good, solid MAN. I've been through the above and keep reminding myself it took a LOT of candles and Hail Mary's but my husband is worth it!

  • Oh LOLA… you don't how badly I wish we used Yenta's. When we get all googly eyed over a guy we lose the ability to think straight. I need someone who isnt hormonal invested to do all my thinking!

  • I was browsing the net and found your article. It caught my attention because the entries were amazing and interesting…Thanks for sharing!

  • I shall follow your "research" with great interest! I haven't had luck with online dating in a long time. But I did find true love that way once before. Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted!

  • What a great read, thank you for sharing!

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