Commando Catholicism…

… You know, not everyone has the time to volunteer at soup kitchens, hand-knit blankets for the homeless, and bake home made pastries for the church bazaar. This used to cause me an endless amount of grief and guilt, that some how I was failing at being a good Catholic woman.

Once I weaned myself off a daily diet of reading home-school mommy blogs I was able to surrender the idea that I was somehow not a good enough mother/woman/Catholic etc. I know those types of blogs don’t actively seek to make other mothers who have to work outside the home feel bad, it was just my own personal interpretation of them fueled by guilt.

Not being able to participate at my parish as much as I wanted also frustrated me, as well as not having the time for private prayer. You see, it was all around discord.

However, I am not easily discouraged. What I lack in time and resources I have in abundance of creativity and a warped sense of humor. I decided to use these skills as gifts for the Church. I may no longer have the time to commit to sponsoring converts through RCIA but I can still spread the message of Catholicism where ever I go. Let me introduce you to something I refer to as Commando Catholicism, like little Catholic sneak attacks…

  • Saying a quick prayer for the dead when you pass a cemetery
  • Praying for emergency workers when an ambulance/fire truck/squad car zip by
  • Leaving holy cards in bar room bathrooms or where ever you happen to be that might be chocked full of heathens… like on the racks of liquor bottles at the ABC store or at your Unitarian Universalist friend’s house.
  • Leave medals in your anti-Catholic family’s couch cushions
  • And my favorite; pass out these cards to kids wearing the rosary as a necklace.

Pictured barefoot, Capt. Bill Carpenter and members of the 101st Airborne attending an outdoor Catholic mass, Vietnam circa 1966. Officiating priest, Fr. Bruno Mosotti.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Sam

    Ahh!! Scandal! You’re not supposed to baptize babies unless they’re in mortal peril without the parents’ permission.

    §1 For an infant to be baptized lawfully it is required:

    1° that the parents, or at least one of them, or the person who lawfully holds their place, give their consent;

    2° that there be a well-founded hope that the child will be brought up in the Catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

    §2 An infant of Catholic parents, indeed even of non-Catholic parents, may in danger of death be baptized even if the parents are opposed to it (canon 868).

    Seriously, though. It could have dire, unintended consequences. I hope you have not actually done this!

    Peace.

    • http://rosariorodriguez.wordpress.com/ Rosario Rodriguez

      Had a (deep) conversation with my seminarian brother this past summer about baptism and he mentioned never underestimate bathtub baptisms by grandmothers (or friends in this case). With the best of intentions the Holy Spirit can be at work! As a pretty traditional/orthodox Catholic (who loves law) I need to constantly remind myself… Love over law!

      • Katrina Fernandez

        My Abuela baptized me in the kitchen sink, right next to the tamales and tequila. She was afraid my parents, Woodstock hippies, would not have me baptized.

        • Therese

          so can i sprinkle my nieces head with holy water and baptise her whe n she is with me for thanksgiving? her mother- a fallen away non practicing catholic, nor her mormon father have baptised her and she is 2 1/2 years old.
          is it valid?

    • The_crescat

      I know that. It’s an inside joke. However, new readers might not get that and I will remove it– you’re right. I wouldn’t want to be cause of scandal when ppl start getting ideas.

      • berenike

        what grand things we should be doing, and we shouldn’t wait until “the kids were out of the house” to do them. It was almost as if only the most spectacular works of mercy really counted, and not the mundane work and prayer of a housewife. What was that about small things done with great love?

        I suppose it’s not about what we can or want to do, it’s about people being in need.

  • M Richer

    OMG! She shops at the Catholic 66 cent store!

  • http://twitter.com/KissingtheLeper Kissing the Leper

    My commando Catholic tip: A Hail Mary whenever I hear sirens: both for those in need and those responding.

  • Paul Catalanotto

    Is that priest wearing camo vestments?

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Yes, yes it is.

  • M Richer

    My favorite is to pray for those who you’d rather whack. Best way to get even…

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Your wife owes me two.

  • IC

    Actually, this is really sound spiritual teaching, Kat. And more meaningful than many crapfts.

    My fave: Leave medals in your anti-Catholic family’s couch cushions. Hope they’re tidy anti-Catholic relatives tho.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      I’ve left holy cars wedged between mattresses too. It’s not so much that I care if they find them or not… I think just them being there might do some good, like Catholic voo-doo.

      • Katrina Fernandez

        *holy cards!

        Though we’ve been known to bless cars too, so that would make them holy cars I suppose.

      • http://twitter.com/bcsny47 Brian Sullivan

        Dear Crescat,

        Please send me one holy car. Muchas gracias!

  • http://defend-us-in-battle.blogspot.com Joseph K.

    I hate to do this to you Kat, but since I won your most recent Most Church Militant, and because I know you love irony… you scored a DOUBLE EPIC FAIL on your post.

    This accompanies the description of the Rosary Pamphlet:
    “We are sorry, this item is Out of Stock until further notice. Please contact customer service if you would like assistance in finding an alternate selection.”

    Also: MADE IN CHINA aka the place where people die for you know… actually believing in and belonging to the One, Holy, and Apostolic Church.

    Sorry :(

    But the rest of the stuff rocks. And ill restrict myself to some form of fast or penance for pointing out your fail…

    • daisy

      Joseph, everything is made in China. Our clothes, our phones, our computers, our shoes, the pots and pans you used to cook your food this morning; it’s all made in China. The working class was sold out 20 years ago and now most of what’s in your house and mine is made in China.

      • Anonymous

        Not really. It takes some effort, but I don’t buy anything made in China. They kill way too many babies there for me to support their economy.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      It’s not a fail. The link was just an example of the cards I pass out. I purchase my rosary cards from a local distributor here in Charlotte.

      And what Daisy said… China owns us.

  • Catherineajt

    Guilty as charged of letting my kids wear rosaries as necklaces. *slinking away in shame*

  • JacqueB

    My 17yr old grandson who is not Catholic was wearing a St. Benedict medal around his neck… he has no idea what it was. I coppied a page from the internet that explained it and sent it to him. He needed to know what it was. His mother is a cradle baptist, so I’m not allowed to say much but she didn’t mind that.
    Rosaries around the neck are a pet peve of mine, but if they pray it I don’t care where they wear it…

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Me too… if a Catholic wears it I’m fine with it.

  • Laura K

    This is a peeve of mine. The Prov. 31 woman was the 1st reading last Sunday, and the priest went on to say what grand things we should be doing, and we shouldn’t wait until “the kids were out of the house” to do them. It was almost as if only the most spectacular works of mercy really counted, and not the mundane work and prayer of a housewife. What was that about small things done with great love? Now if that housewife is sitting around all day on the computer, then sure, there are better things to be done. But getting a name in the paper or the church bulletin isn’t the measure of a perfect, or even a darn good, effort.

  • Rfrendz

    How about just communicating your thanks to God when little things go right in your day, or when things go wrong, because you know He will see you through it all. You could also set a good example by your own actions throughout the day; ie, not cussing out the numb-nut who just cut you off on the highway, ( oh, I know that’s a tuogh one. I struggle with that one a lot). All these little things can help you feel better about yourself, but the thing that helps me the most is just taking a moment to thank God for His forgiveness through the blood of Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins.

  • Dan

    Another tip is to send your gaurdian angel to anyone you know in your family who is in need of conversion to the Catholic Faith.
    I say an Angel of God prayer to my Guardian Angel and ask him to go to the other persons angel and tell him to help the person.

  • Anonymous

    Our good bishop calls his newly ordained priests his “special ops” guys.

  • Leegilbert28

    Non-Catholics wearing Rosaries around their necks is a bad thing? “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from
    false motives or true, Christ is preached” Phillipians 1:18. Believe me, if someone is wearing a Rosary around their neck, they are preaching Christ even if not intending to do so.

    When I was in Ft Riley’s stockade many years ago, I wore a rosary around my neck in imitation of a Trappist brother I had seen doing the same. Then my budddies took it up. Soon the chaplain was passing Rosaries out like candy. He couldn’t get over it. One day a fellow prisoner who had made several escape attempts and whose case was not advancing at all asked me, “Say Gilbert, I’ve been wearing this thing for weeks. How does it work?” He said his first Rosary. The next day, the process kicked into gear for him. Word got around. Soon practically the whole stockade was wearing a Rosary. This is bad?

    Also, I know someone who dropped St. Benedict medals into the magazine racks of the local magazine shop/pornography outlet, fully expecting it to burn down. Nothing so dramatic, but it was sold shortly thereafter and the new owner thoroughly cleaned the place up.

    Putting it in Americanese, sacramentals work.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Sacramentals do work… which is why I advocate leaving them around. I never said wearing a rosary as a necklace was bad, it’s a chance to talk about Catholicism, or in my case, give out holy cards.

  • Marie

    I’m sill trying to wean myself off of whose Catholic SAHMommy blogs. I’m getting better – only a couple of visits a week tops! (I still love Catholic Icing though, Lacy seems to keep it more ‘real’ than the others.)

    • Marie

      *those

  • KenC

    In regards to rosaries and other religious items made in China, I kinda like the idea that the slave labor there has the great privilege of making these. Perhaps it can lead to conversions. Better than making iPhones.

  • Annie

    Love that list, Crescat, and shared in on my Facebook page. However, in order to keep peace in the family, I didn’t not plug in the Unitarian Universalist suggestion. My sister would go ballistic (since that is her most recent touchdown “church”) and I would not want to lead her into sin of unrighteous anger. LOL

  • Mpj

    at greenscapular.com they say this: “Our Lady replied: This scapular is not like others (it is not the clothing-habit of a confraternity) but merely two holy pictures on a single piece of material. Therefore no special formula is required to bless it or enroll someone in its use. It suffices that it be blessed by a priest and worn by the one whom we desire to benefit by Our Lady’s intercession. If, on the other hand, the person is unable or even unwilling to wear it or carry it, it may even be slipped, unknown to him, into his clothes, bed, room, or possessions etc.


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