Where I Become Completely Unhinged…

… What is it about “rent is due on the first of each month and late after the fifth” that is so damn hard to understand?! If it’s November 6th, guess what, your rent is late and you pay a late fee.

Every month it’s the same thing, and the same people. They come strolling in the day after the fifth and act all surprised and indignant when I tell them they need to pay a late fee. They even have the gall to argue with me about it. They pout, swear, and call me names – like mean-y rent lady. They offer endless excuses and try to justify why they think I should waive their late fee.

One girl, of the young entitled generation, said I should waive her late fee because she’s never been late before. Yeah, and? You want me to grant you a favor for doing something you’re supposed to be doing every month, like pay your rent in a timely manner? I wanted to ask her if fulfilling her obligations was such a rare thing that was why she thought she should be awarded this one favor?

I blame the parents. The ones who act like their kid’s best friend and can’t be bothered to set boundaries and enforce them. The parent’s whose “no” means “maybe. well…ok” when pushed by nagging little ingrates. While those parents may make their own lives easier by never having to argue with their spawn, they make the rest of the world totally suck. We are the ones that are tasked with telling the fruit of your womb “no” and listening to the temper tantrums that follows. And believe me, that shit ain’t cute coming from a twenty year old. Not that it’s cute coming from a three year old either but at least you can distract a three year old with candy.

If you borrow clothes from your kid’s closet and listen to the same music as they do and actually say “lullz” and text using emoticons and think your kid is your best friend I am talking to you. Get some grown up friends and tell your little bastards “NO” from time to time. And actually mean it.

You are personally responsible for ruining the future. Yours are the kids that grow up and vote for any politician that promise them free cell phones and birth control pills and college loan forgiveness, mortgage forgiveness, and unicorns that shit gold bricks.

Now, where’s the Tylenol?

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Karen Minahan-Grant

    Crap, which candidate was offering the unicorns? I sure didn’t get one! Any parent who fails to teach their child that life isn’t fair and isn’t supposed to be has done their offspring a huge disservice.

  • Baron Korf

    I dunno, I can understand that if someone has never been late before an exception could be made. Especially if paired with an explanation contrition and a resolution not to be late again. Justice does not require it, but it could be within reason.

    If paired with a bad attitude, then tough cookies.

  • rh

    I try not to judge people.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

      Just stating the obvious.

    • urmm

      Strange, it seems that this comment is judging the hell out of Katrina…

      • urmm

        Or let me be more precise, according to my judgment, you are judging the hell out of Katrina

  • Helene

    {Standing up and clapping like crazy!!!!!}

  • susan

    You go girl!!! Dead-on-balls-accurate!

  • TheodoreSeeber

    My son knows that when I say no, and he tries to argue, that that only makes me say no louder.

    I do NOT put up with whining.

  • Io

    Oh, so many memories of the two years I spent working in property management! I had people say, “Well, the rent it due on the fifth, right?” and then act as though it’s not late until after the fifth. I would tell them, “No, it’s due on the first, and after that it’s late, but you don’t get charged a late fee until the fifth.” So then they assumed that as long as they put the check in the mail ON the fifth, it counted as on time. Sigh. Clearly people don’t appreciate grace periods. And yeah there were a lot of college students.

  • Lola

    Dr Ray said, and I’m paraphrasing, If you don’t discipline your child someone else will. And that someone else might be a Police Officer, a Judge or worse a Spouse!

  • FairKaye

    I’ve never been a landlord, so I’m merely repeating what my son and his wife do. In the lease agreement, they state that $50 will be automatically deducted if payment is received on the FIRST day of the month. Received on the second or after, it is the full amount. After the fifth, it is considered late. They had a duplex in Atlanta for several years and said that only twice in that time did anyone pay after the first. In reality, they’re saying that the penalty for being after the first is $50; it’s just stated differently.
    They learned this from a seminar they attended when they began. Don’t know if it works all the time, but they had good luck with it and with their renters.

  • terentiaj63

    Sorry I’m late to the party but I just saw this. The tennent, the (sort of) landlady and Judge Judi. Have fun


  • Barbara

    I’m so late to the party. I did not know you had returned. I adore The Crescat and all her justified anger at those who do not believe gravity applies to all equally. YIPPEE FOR CRESCAT’S RETURN, the best news I’ve had all month!