Outrage Fishing Brought To You By Slate…

… What would it look like if I wanted to troll the internet just to drive up web traffic?

God doesn’t care if I wear daisy duke cut-offs and flip flops to mass. All that matters is that I am there to perform my liturgical dance. Michael Voris. And while I’m at it, now would be a good time to mention that I just got ordained a prophet and I am starting my own church. And I’m a lesbian. Michael Voris.

What does it look like when Slate trolls the internet?

Only bad people send their kids to private schools* because how else can we indoctrinate them. Or something. All your kids are belong to us. Hail Obama.

No really. They wrote that trolled their readers.

“You are a bad person if you send your children to private school. Not bad like murderer bad—but bad like ruining-one-of-our-nation’s-most-essential-institutions-in-order-to-get-what’s-best-for-your-kid bad. So, pretty bad.”

“…it seems to me that if every single parent sent every single child to public school, public schools would improve. This would not happen immediately. It could take generations. Your children and grandchildren might get mediocre educations in the meantime, but it will be worth it, for the eventual common good.”

I’ve been thoroughly convinced for quite some time now that bloggers on sites like Slate, Salon, Gawker and Jezebel are really just a bunch of coked out web marketing analysis nerds sitting around trying to come up with the next most outrageous and offensive topic just for lulz and web traffic.

In my mind they look like this…

So for the love of sanity, please stop linking to Slate and their ilk. Stop talking about them and sharing their sewage on facebook. They intentionally want you, the reader, riled and righteously indignant. It’s good for business. They call it “outrage-fishing” and you’ve just taken the bait.

Now, where was I. That’s right. It’s Friday. Time to prepare for the 3 day weekend.

*Direct link to Slate article intentionally left out.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Jordan

    Yeah, I totally fell for it, because of a family member posting it. So score one for their web traffic but I quit reading after a couple paragraphs and refrained from commenting on the facebook post for it so…half point for me? Pweese?

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

      No wine for you!

  • http://www.brutallyhonest.org Rick Rice

    You so crack me up woman…

  • Tammy

    We’re not worthy!!! We’re not worthy!!!

  • Quittin’ time at Tara!

    That would be nice if it were just trolling, but that’s some real intellectual vomit spewed by your fellow citizens. It’s not just on the interwebs, but barfed up by the NEA hags in my life with great regularity.

  • Sarah S

    There are tons of people I know IRL who wholeheartedly agree with the Slate article. It’s not easy to ignore when you are surrounded by friends and family who actually do think private and homeschooling families are a real problem…

  • Caroline Moreschi

    CS Lewis is way over-quoted, but this fits: Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its
    victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under
    robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s
    cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be
    satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us
    without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.