Caw, Caw. The End is Nigh…

… I’m don’t put much stock in omens, therefore I don’t find it the least bit ominous that a seagull and a crow attacked two doves. The fact that the doves where released from an Apostolic Palace window during the Pope’s appeal for peace in Ukraine says less about the Ukraine’s future and more about the nature of gulls and crows.

Being from Virginia Beach, where your chances of being crapped on by a seagull are in the top percentages, I can attest to just how vicious and nasty these birds are. Seagulls are such notorious assholes that they even have their own page on Buzzfeed. Nah, A seagull attacking a dove is just a seagull being a seagull.

Now crows on the other hand… those birds are straight from Hell.

There’s a reason that in every horror movie when shit’s about to get real you see a crow…

Evil, malicious harbingers of doom crows are. When a crow attacks a dove of peace it’s time to stock the doomsday bunker. In fact, I’ll be deeply disappointed if there isn’t an investigative video expose and this incident isn’t exploited to it’s fullest potential.

Related News: National Geographic’s victim blaming article; Why Birds Attacked the Peace Doves in Rome. “A crow and a gull targeted the freakish doves, bred to be unnaturally white.”

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Quittin’ time at Tara!

    Well, I tend to think it’s even more about the nature of bored, high-level bureaucrats, constructing femmy pseudo-liturgy for fifth graders. We just don’t have enough potent symbols in Catholicism, so why not turn to nasty, disease-ridden, unpredictable, poop-scattering birds? At least throw something manly out a window for a change. Like a cheetah with a jet pack. At least my boys would think that was cool, instead of something lame that a Disney princess would do.

    • Philippa Martyr

      “At least throw something manly out a window for a change. Like a cheetah with a jet pack.”
      I’d like to see that.

  • GeekLady

    I don’t get the general mockery of the idea of releasing doves during a prayer for peace, although it is only natural that, if you’re going to release doves, they’d get attacked by predators eventually. But the dove release is at least as goofy as dropping live doves out of Holy Ghost Holes on Pentecost. But piety always involves embracing a little silliness.

    • Quittin’ time at Tara!

      Holy Ghost Holes! I had to Google that one, after my sick self sniggered for a full ten minutes I thought “Hey, what if there is really something called a Holy Ghost Hole?” And lo, it turns out that Catholics have been pumping doves out of these holes since way back in the day. They couldn’t get enough of it.

      You are absolutely right about piety and silliness. I guess I just long for a more masculine show.

  • MeatIsGood

    Oh, I’m sorry … I thought it was caused by global warming.