Being Vegan makes you better than most people…

… Because this made me totally laugh, and why should I have all the fun.

Submitted on a rental application —

Have you or anyone to be living in this property been arrested and/or convicted for any criminal offense?
Yes/No (Circle one) EXPLAIN FULLY:

Yes, in April of 2010 I was stopped at a DUI checkpoint and blew a .10, not my proudest moment but I have used this experience as a catalyst to turn my life around and am a better person. I am now a cyclist and a vegan.

Little known fact; I was a vegetarian for a brief while in college. By “vegetarian” I mean my diet consisted solely of raman noodles, Smirnoff Ice, and cheetos.

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  • george-a

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, but all the vegans I know personally are either (1) teens or college students or (2) cringe-inducingly neurotic adults. Just sayin’

  • echarles1

    That’s *sober* vegan to you!

  • Did the vegan have that pearlescent gray pallor characteristic of his moral and physical superiority?

  • Quittin’ time at Tara!

    Veganism is an eating disorder, needing to be weeded out of the population with cognitive therapy and electric shocks. Yet, in this carnival age, we take disorders formerly in the pages if the DSM as signs of evolution beyond the typical, drooling simian. And cyclists? Even more snooty backs aching for the lash.

  • Neal

    that’s a vegitarianism I can get behind!