The Gist: Conan angry. Conan avenge father’s murder. Conan no need girl to slow him down. Wait. Girl pretty.
Bottom Line: “I live. I love. I slay. I am content,” but I have no need for production values, coherently written script, or respectable acting. Read our original review.
Be Aware: Rated R, this movie uses more blood than a Twilight sparkily vampire convention. Also has a love scene that leaves little to the imagination although it takes place in an uncomfortable and chilly looking cave.
Verdict: Skip it. Do not waste your life on this. Unless you need a movie to mock, then it’s the perfect candidate.