Don’t Unload your Spiritual Baggage on your Children

A new baby brings us such hope. They are so pure, their slate so clean, and for those of us who carry spiritual baggage from our past, our children compel us to do better by them. We are eager to offer them a spiritual environment that isn’t toxic but allows them to flourish as fully embodied human beings. We’ve heard the saying, hurt people hurt people. The challenge for parents who bear childhood wounds is to bravely do the inner… Read more

Training for Motherhood: Learning to Be Invisible

It’s no secret that most fundamentalists place a strong emphasis on complementary gender roles – essentially, “women nurture, men lead.” In the homeschooling subculture I grew up in, women were entirely responsible for home and kids while men supported the family financially. And as part of “training up a child in the way they should go,” girl-children were considered moms-in-training and were assigned duties accordingly. Photo by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash I’ll admit, I learned a few useful skills. I can change a… Read more

My Grandfather Was Racist, and I Loved Him

My grandfather used to take us fishing on his speedboat and buy big sacks of donut holes for the ride back. He made goofy faces across the dinner table and created the most ornate, tinsel-covered Christmas trees. He taught us how to use computers before computers were a thing, which meant that my very first email was typed out to my grandfather. He wanted to be sure we could connect even though we lived a state away. Photo by Huy Phan on Unsplash… Read more

When Your Christian Family is Not Perfect

The Perfect Christian Family You know the one, Dad is a well respected elder in the church who is an authoritative leader but a loving husband to his Stepford wife—a Proverbs 31 woman who is good at housework, an excellent mother, and likely homeschools. The children are well behaved, they grow into leaders at youth group, the daughter sings and the son plays drums on Sunday worship. They are athletes who pray before their games and drama leads who refuses… Read more

If Trump Swears, Can the Children?

Donald Trump called for NFL league owners to fire any “son of a bitch” who protests the flag. Of course, this is not the first time he has used coarse language publicly, and yet he garners wide support from white Evangelicals. Those of us who grew up Evangelical sees the hypocrisy plain as day, as one of the things that “set us apart” from the unholy was refraining from cursing. ‘Gosh darn it,” and ‘shoot,’ and my personal favorite curse… Read more

6 Ways Fundamentalists Need to Grow up

Fundamentalism shows a lack of development– here are 6 ways it needs to grow up. Read more

How Children Rescue Us From Fundamentalism

I have decided that what makes fundamentalism so vile is not that it perpetuates bigotry and hate, or the way it lacks authenticity by covering life with a veneer of false piety, or even how it erects (white) man-made boundaries to determine who’s in and who’s out. No, the most deadly sin fundamentalism commits lies in how incredibly boring it is.  Although I appreciate the sincerity of those who are so certain of their faith, there is something insidious in having… Read more

A Parenting Shift From Fear to Love

An excerpt from the book Adopting Grace: A Parenting Journey from Fear to Freedom As I continued to travel down a road of both parenting and faith shifts, it became clear that I didn’t understand a great deal about feelings and emotions. I realized that when I parented my sons, I considered their expressions of certain feelings as out of bounds. My response to normal human emotions such as anger, frustration, jealousy, and the like was often to label them… Read more

Five FAQs – Parenting While Deconstructing

Deconstructing, disillusionment, faith shifting—these are all terms to describe the tumultuous process through which we dismantle previously held faith convictions and attempt to rediscover our identity. Add to this the incredible responsibility of parenting—simultaneously building little humans up when we’re falling apart with a faith crisis—can be disorienting. What I want you to know is that you’re not alone. We’re in this together, figuring out how to wade into unknown territory, raising our children in the ways we ourselves weren’t… Read more

My Daughter Loves Jesus. Is That Okay?

Anonymous asks, My 7yo daughter loves Jesus a LOT, and to be honest, I’m not sure why. My deconstruction started when she was 4, and she wasn’t exposed to a whole lot (not in my thinking, anyway). At least a couple times a week, she’ll tell me how she can’t wait to see Jesus one day, and how she’s going to run to him and hug him and tell him that she loves him. A couple months ago, she would… Read more

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