Thank you so much to those of you who are reading about my 30 days straight of hot yoga at Moksha LA. Later today I will be on day 8, but had an idea that occurred to me this morning as I watch the day begin. My day normally begins with my cat poking my face for food, so I don’t need an alarm clock to wake up for my private time with God, which is meditation and listening. I took on this process of 30 days of straight yoga to offer myself a challenge, now at the time it was just that, to challenge me. But this morning I had the image of yoga being like Yoda from the Star Wars series. Yoda was a character that Luke met to train himself. For when you are ready, the teacher will appear. Well that is what happened here, in my life.
When I first started taking yoga, I took it as a way of dealing with life and getting back in shape. As some of you have read in the early blogs, I came to it with a health challenge. Then as my practice got stronger, I kept it up for physical reasons, which I feel is the natural flow or progression, then that period wore off, and now I wanted to experience yoga from the mental, body, and spiritual place. Which I am finding now as I explore a deeper and richer me. The difference is that when I studied for over four years of school at Agape International Spiritual Center and became a practitioner I was doing that at the time, to understand my own inner unhappiness, I was not happy inside. I was blessed to have teachers, ministers, and friends who to this day truly love me and care about me. I am truly honored by those relationships. And honored by my time there as well. A lot has shifted since my time in school.
But I recognize that the journey here is much different today. In school I was still coming from a conditional place of learning; meaning I read tons of books, did the work, was a good student, but it never reached my heart, it hovered, and had its moments. The work came from being accepted, approved, and proving that I was good enough.
The difference today and going through this journey with you and opening up, is that I am ready to really learn. And yoga now is much different, fun, and filled with so much to learn. It isn’t just some earthly practice without the spirit. I find that my practice now is listening, “The teacher has appeared and I am ready.” My stubborn will, stubbornness does not work. It use to work great as a way of motivating me in my craft as an actor, “I’ll show you, or you don’t think I can do it”, kind of language. But that motivation came from proving, and approval which have nothing to do with love. Those are disguised resentments, that I re-sent over and over to motivate me. Now my pose is like Yoda, teaching me to be with it, be still with it, and allow what comes up, to come up. Well tonight I will share day 8 with you….God bless your day! Thank you again to Moksha Yoga and the staff for allowing me to blog my challenge and participate in hot yoga as I do it!