Day 43 of 90 straight days of hot yoga at Moksha Yoga LA and I entered the practice of Yan/Yin. A mix of flow and restorative poses. I entered the studio and laid down on the mat, closed my eyes and relaxed, allowing gravity to pull me down. My life off the mat is starting to take shape and move and expand. It has been a long road and every step has been earned, and learned. We are always learning to relax into the present and listen and keep moving. The mind disagrees with this and holds on to everything. Yet the breath which I call Grace, simply allows and lets go, allowing it in and lets it go. Like the tide of the ocean, coming up and letting go. When I listen to the breath it sounds like “SHHHH in” and “SHHHH out” always quieting the active mind.
Rob our teacher is really quite fun. He is a paradox as a teacher. I am a good listener, and so hearing Rob’s voice, it is calm, soft, and strong, yet our practice can be quite vigorous with lots of flow. But I love how much he understands both the YAN/YIN of the our practice and I learn a lot about my body as well. I have eased off on the flow classes for 3 days to focus on my foundation and it helped out a lot in today’s flow, I was strong and active, and really felt the surrender into the breath. I heard the “SHHHHH” of the breath again and kept the tip of the tongue on the roof of the mouth. All which allows the mind to calm and it really activates the AB area. And helps center me.
There was a point in my practice where I felt like my heart was smiling for the very first time, in a long time. Time heals and so does forgiveness. Together they have really healed a interesting stage of my life. All of which has opened me up to vulnerability and a deeper connection to the divine, myself, and my daughter.
My daughter and I were taking a long walk last night and she was talking about something and I asked, “How did that feel?” She said, “It made feel silly.” “Okay does silly feel good?” She said, “Dad silly feels silly”. So I said, “Follow the silly feeling, but remember always feel what you feel, because that matters.” Then we continued to walk. And about 5 minutes into the walk after our conversation, my daughter said, “Dad I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
On to day 44….Namaste…