Communion For The Divorced & Remarried: The Parable People Are Forgetting

A parable has been forgotten amidst the talk and chatter concerning whether the Church should allow divorced and remarried Catholics (without having had their previous marriage annulled) to receive Holy Communion, or create some sort of ‘path’ moving forward.

Remember Matthew 22:1-14? Good thing I’m here to remind y’all. Here are the pertinent verses:

But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment; and he said to him, “Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?” And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, “Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into the outer darkness; there men weep and gnash their teeth.”

Now, this parable’s about many things – primarily about the kingdom of Heaven – but it’s also about how a person must be in a state of grace to receive the Eucharist. We have to be properly dressed.

So if someone’s divorced and remarried, without having gotten an annulment – they’re not properly dressed.

If someone’s fornicating – they’re not properly dressed.

If someone thinks the Church is wrong about gay ‘marriage’ – they’re not properly dressed.

If someone’s skipping Mass most Sundays, because they just haven’t felt like going – they’re not properly dressed.

If someone broke the Communion fast – they’re not properly dressed.

If someone’s contracepting – they’re not properly dressed.

And so on. The Church has been clear about this – it’s not a secret. We aren’t required to be perfect – we’re required to be in a state of grace. That’s the dress code, if you will. While it’s true no one is truly worthy to “receive Him under our roof”, it’s also equally true we have to be in a state of grace to receive Holy Communion. We’re required to humble ourselves in the sight of God, and submit to the authority of the Church. Too often I’m hearing and reading people defiantly proclaiming “primacy of conscience!”, expecting the Church to humbly acquiesce to their pride and selfishness. Sounds awfully similar to “Non serviam!”, doesn’t it?

So what should a person do? Refrain from receiving, of course, until being properly dressed. Get to confession as soon as possible (i.e., leave your gift at the altar and make amends. Jesus said that, too), repent and be forgiven. In the case of being divorced and remarried, more is required, I admit that. But here’s the thing: Christ didn’t institute the Church in order to take away our crosses, but to provide the graces necessary to bear them. It must be a difficult thing, not being able to receive (it’s hard for me on those occasional Sundays when I have to refrain, so I can’t imagine not receiving every Sunday), but Holy Communion is not the sole source of grace. Attending Mass in and of itself imparts grace, right? In fact, we’re obligated to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days – we’re not obligated to receive Holy Communion. According to Church’s precepts, we’re obligated to receive the Eucharist once a year, during the Easter season. That’s it. Not receiving Holy Communion isn’t sinful – but receiving it while “improperly dressed” is very sinful.

So much so, Jesus uses strong language to describe the man’s punishment – identical to other passages in the Gospel where Jesus describes the treatment of the condemned. Because when we receive communion while not in a state of grace -while being in objective mortal sin – we bring condemnation upon ourselves. St Paul says so very clearly in his letter to the Corinthians:

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why so many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.

“Guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord.” Tough words. Tough, but true.

Another thing to remember – it’s the king who has the man tossed out. His attendants followed the king’s command, but they didn’t make the decision. They left the judgment to the guy in charge. There’s a lesson in that: keep our eyes on our own paper (to borrow an expression from my friend and co-blogger Rebecca Frech). St Paul wrote, “Let a man examine himself…”, not “Hey, that person shouldn’t be receiving Holy Communion!!” Let those in charge – i.e., the Church – take care of it.

Because a time may come when we’re the ones who are improperly dressed, but if we truly love the Lord, we will humbly refrain from presenting ourselves at the feast.

Image credit: Xavier Boudreau [Creative Commons] via Flickr