Well this has been the longest blogging break I’ve taken since 2003 when I started writing daily.

Does anyone still manage to write personal reflections daily I wonder?

Does anyone still want to read another person’s  reflections daily?

Though to be fair I have not been totally silent these last months. I have written material over at blood cancer Uncensorsd.   But it’s different writing for fellow blood cancer patients than it is for a mostly Christian general set of readers who has come to expect my peculiar mix on theology, wrestling with issues that arise from suffering, and talking about or interviewing Ghristian leaders

Have you missed me?

For a while there I thought I’d run out of things to say to you all. After all I’ve been blogging since 2003!  And written more than 4300 posts.  What more could I possibly have to say?  Those who know well me would be very surprised to see me speechless!

Truth is I have had other things on my mind.  Some things that I wont talk about here. But suffice it to say that the lockdown months and pandemic have been particularly challenging for me.  My health has not been great, although I continue to be in remission from my blood cancer the damage to my immune and autonomic nervous system continues to hugely impact every aspect of my life.

Chronic sickness sucks.  It can threaten to engulf a life and all that surrounds that person.  It has been overwhelming at times. But blogs are not counselling sessions, not the place for full disclosure.  I do have counsellors advisors, but the unfiltered internet is not one of them.

Jesus has been closer to me recently, or perhaps it is more that I have been closer to him.

The ancients talked of the dark night of the soul.  At times when we feel like we most need him, God sometimes feels most distant, compounding the struggle and the suffering. So much so that you begin to ask, am I even a Christian?

But if Paul could say

“We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.” 2 Corinthians 1:8

Then, beloved, we too can cling onto our faith through the darkest most despairing night, and emerge, like a butterfly from the chrysalis ready to soar with him.

I am not quite like that butterfly just yet.

God hasn’t finished with me though.

And I am not finished with you my loyal blog readers, if any of you are still out there!

There is a time to speak, and a time to be silent.

I hope you will enjoy my wittering as it begins once more. It won’t be writing daily, but I will aim for once a week.

Ecclesiastes 3 (NLT)

1For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

2A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.