And Into the Breach, We Got Tossed
How bored would you be if everything was always the same? Imagine: the same job, same house, the same routine every day. Yeah, I get it, there is a comfort in those sorts of things. Maybe it’s my ADHD, but I can safely say I would not be happy. Diversity is thrilling, sometimes scary, but invigorating as well.
Some changes are planned. To me those are great. I mean, I like a good plan, and if it modifies the status quo I am all in. But what about the shifts you don’t see coming? The big ones, the changes that seem to shake your world apart. How do you handle those?
Change is an inevitable part of life. Maybe you had a car accident or maybe you were fired from work. Regardless, you’ve been faced with a sudden development. You know, the type of transition you didn’t see coming. I like to call these Tower Moments. Not that I have coined the phrase but I’m fond of it nonetheless. Whether or not this change seems good or bad at the moment, the real outcome is all about how you deal with a sudden upheaval.
To understand a Tower Moment you’ve got to understand the Tower card in the Tarot. When you look at the card there is a Tower being struck by lightning. The Tower is typically depicted with a crown falling off the top. There are people, who must have formerly occupied the building, and they’re falling as well. If this isn’t a metaphor for extreme change I don’t know what is.
Maybe I’m an adrenaline junkie. Maybe I enjoy these moments because I have some sort of self-destructive shadow work to do. I honestly don’t think it’s either. I think I love these sorts of disasters because, deep down, I know what they can truly be: an opportunity.
Jumping is Easy, and Falling is Fun
I have tattoos, a bunch of them, enough that I can’t tell you the number unless I stop to count them and, even then, I’d miss at least one. I guess you’re all like, “What’s the point, Vini?” I’m getting to it; calm down, witch.
When I graduated from college I got the words Persistence tattooed to my right bicep and Resistance tattooed to my left. I used to know a guy who always said persistence overcomes resistance. The plan was to get Overcomes tattooed to my chest, but I just couldn’t come to terms with the idea of that word there. I settled for this dichotomy instead because I like the schism.
Both words are strong in their individual meanings. The thing is they hold much more strength when viewed on the same governing body, my human form. I’ve always been both resistant and persistent. As it turns out, both are integral to witchcraft.
Persistence is all about falling and getting back up. Like Lady Gaga said in her acceptance speech at the Oscars. “It’s not about how many times you get rejected, or fall down, or you’re beaten up. It’s about how many times you stand up, and are brave, and keep going.” For me, being a witch comes with a lot of falling down. And honestly, it’s kind of fun, because I’m learning all the way down.
The payoff always comes right after I decide to stand up and keep going. This is a lesson life taught me as a homeless young adult and as a person living with chronic illness. In other words, cliché as it may be, if at first you don’t succeed, try again!
Part of the Fun is the Climb
The thing about witchcraft is that it is a practice. By definition this means that you are never done learning. You are never done growing. For instance, when I first started on this path, I was casting spells which I thought weren’t working.
I was forced to ask myself what I was doing wrong. Was I not good enough? The simple answer is I wasn’t doing anything wrong. And yes, I am good enough.
For a long time at the beginning of my journey, I was casting prosperity spells. They always had the same seemingly specific intention of increasing my cash flow. Months went by and I still wasn’t making more money. I felt like a failure. There I was trying to use magick to help me better provide for my family, but I couldn’t see a single monetary result.
Specificities aside, I was actually blind to what was really happening. What I really wanted was to provide for my family. I wanted to expedite moving out of our camper. I wanted to be able to afford materials for the house we are building.
What I got was not prosperity in the form of cash. Yeah, sure, that’s the intention I sent out with my magick. But still, to this day, that is not what I have received. Instead I have this ever-growing stack of building supplies that sort of fall into my lap.
Thankfully I persisted. I thought I failed, but instead of giving up, I continued to take personal inventory of my actions. I stopped looking for that specific thing I sought out and instead, I paid attention to the things that were coming in.
Just because I thought that prosperity would mean more cash flow, doesn’t mean that would be how it came through. Instead of money I got a toilet and a door, a window, a kitchen sink, two bathroom sinks, medicine cabinets, and a bunch or wood paneling. These things aren’t cheap but I got them for free.
You may be thinking, “Dude, how does persistence play into any of this”. I’ll explain. Just because something seemingly doesn’t work you can’t just give up. If I gave up after a prosperity spell I would never take the time to notice how it actually came into fruition. Also, if I gave up anytime something didn’t really go my way, where would that get me?
The thing I love the most about persistence is that when you really buy into it you see success eventually. Everybody likes success. Everybody wants to feel like they’ve accomplished something. When you climb a mountain you want to make it to the top. The view at the summit is much more worth it than all the views combined along the way.
Love is Like Falling, and Falling is Like This
Recently I came into one of those Tower Moments I was talking about earlier. I discussed it in my Self Love September article. The thing is I’m still in the midst of falling from my tower. The crazy thing about it is that I’m okay with where I am right now.
The uncertainty can be overwhelming. And yeah, I’d like to have some immediate results. I put magick out with an intention to get what I really want from life: a writing career. And now I wait, but what is that supposed to look like?
Waiting, for me does not entail sitting around and doing nothing. Instead it means doing my best to write daily, seeking out freelance work, and actively exploring magickal opportunities. One, in my opinion, excellent opportunity for me to explore is road-opener spells and rituals.
Runnin’ Down a Dream
Here’s the big picture. My tower has been struck by lightning, crown fallen, fires blazing throughout, and me somewhere between jumping out the window and face-planting into the concrete below. I could easily throw my hands up and just let my life fall apart. Or I could endeavor to become strong enough, to mutate, to grow wings and fly before my body hits the ground.
A road-opener will help me to grow the wings I need in order to soar. I can set a specific intention for my destination. I can still allow myself to travel down broad avenues which offer little to no resistance. And in the end, achieve all that I desire.
I’m not sure how most people handle these things; I can only speak for myself. I’m adaptable because I’m persistent. I’m prepared to put in the work because I love myself enough to know that I: a) can in fact, accomplish anything I set my mind to, and b) am a magickal being who possess all the skill and power to manipulate the world around me.
Who knows where the road will actually take me. I can’t say whether or not success is around the corner. What I do know is that no matter what the outcome is of this Tower Moment, I’m stronger for persisting.
I know that I am growing in ways I wouldn’t have if my world were not deconstructed. I know that I am building a new tower. I know this new structure will be struck by lightning one day too. But above all things, I know that I am always ready for a fall.