I have had a tendency at various points in my life to do things backwards, the hard way, or both. Like now – here it is, the beginning of the dark half of the year and instead of hibernating and indulging my hermit side, I am just now emerging from the cave. My life has been a bit of a roller coaster over the past 6 months or so, with the highest of highs and some pretty low lows. To give you an idea of what I am talking about, I hereby provide you with the highlights of my last few months.
May
Passed the exam for and received my End of Life Doula certification. Also, my son completed his basic training and Tech School for the army and was assigned to a base over 2,000 miles away.
June/July
My dear friend of over 30 years came to visit me and I had a blast. We went to an incredible week-long voice/music conference together and, in addition to learning a LOT, we also made good friends and long lasting, amazing memories. I sang Karaoke and performed at an open mic for the first time and received so many positive compliments on my singing.
July
My father, who had been ill with cancer (though still lucid, functioning, and in good spirits), passed away. It was a blessing to be with him and surround him with love in his final hours. It was also unthinkable to lose someone who had known me, loved me, and been steadfast in his belief in me since the day I was born.
August
My stepson got married and I had family in town. It was wonderful! Not so wonderful but also beautiful in its own right? My father’s funeral. This was also the month that the manuscript for my first book with Llewellyn was due which was both nerve-wracking and exciting. In addition, this month marked the first time that I have ever been unable to be with my son on his birthday.
September
Much of this month was spent preparing to retire from my CEO position at a non-profit agency that has been my home for over 20 years. While I am looking forward to new adventures, it has been a bittersweet process of packing up my office, attending retirement celebrations, and saying goodbye to staff. I was fortunate enough to be selected to present at the upcoming Bewitching the Waters symposium and I can see my plans for future vocational paths unfolding before my eyes.
October
Thus far I have had a friend pass and am concerned about an extended family member who is having some concerning health issues. I also have two family members facing surgeries and a long list of things I need to get done before I transition into retirement.
As you can see, the last few months have been a bit of a tornado with so many transitions and emotions that have run the spectrum from grief and despair to inspiration and joy. Despite most of this occurring in what is traditionally considered the time of the year when nature is abundant and we tend to be more active, I have found myself embracing my inner hermit. With so many changes occurring in my life, it seemed as though hibernating (as much as realistically possible) was the best way to conserve my energy, mitigate my confusion, and function on a daily basis. As a result, I found myself reaching out less frequently to friends, staying at home more, indulging in comfort foods more frequently, and taking a hiatus from one of my loves – belly dancing.
Now that I have had some time to lick my wounds in (relative) silence, I have been able to begin using spiritual tools and lessons learned to make sense of it all and to being to navigate my life with intention rather than just feeling like I am being tossed upon the waves, going hither and yon. I know that I am far from the only one who has experienced these intense whirlwinds and for those of you going through it right now, I see you. Below are some tools and ways of coping that I have found to be helpful in gaining clarity, a sense of peace, and the energy and will to emerge from my hibernation and begin to try and return some sense of normalcy to my life.
Integration
This is a tool and concept which I learned early on during my membership in the Sisterhood of Avalon but which I previously did not pay as much attention to in comparison to other aspects of the Avalonian healing cycle. I very much underestimated the power of integration. Taking the time to simply sit with and process what has happened in our lives from time to time can be powerful. Learning from what has happened and identifying how we want to intentionally move forward in the future is, in my mind, akin to pouring all of our experiences, feelings, and/or wounds from a specific time period into a cauldron. By allowing it to sit – or “brew” – for a bit while simply watching and stirring we can distill its essence and ultimately alchemize it into something more.
Divination
The simple act of pulling a card or two each morning really helped me to get clarity and feel a little more grounded. I pulled cards for a general outlook of my day but also to better identify any life lessons present in all of these transitions I was experiencing, what I was holding onto that no longer served me, and what I needed to do to manifest the feeling of stability and control over my own life that I desired.
Being in my body
This one is not easy for me. Whereas my sister was always athletically inclined, I shudder at the very mention of exercise. If I had my druthers, I would spend the better part of each day huddling up in a cozy corner with lots of books, my journal, and an instrument or two. Yet, this tip was actually one of the most effective techniques for managing my feelings of confusion, fear and despair.
There is something about being in my body that has a calming impact on my anxiety. Certainly our body emits feel-good endorphins when we exercise, but it seemed to me to be more than that. If our body holds onto our trauma as many modern researchers and authors seem to believe, then it makes sense to me that in order to release stressful or traumatic feelings our body may need to be involved in some way.
One physical activity that I have always enjoyed is dance. Even though I had to take a hiatus from my belly dance classes and performing troupe, I still took time a few times a week to put on music and simply dance to my heart’s content. Other times, my technique for being in my body simply consisted of yoga or basic stretching and mindful walking. Physical touch like a massage or facial or simply taking time to name how your body feels – from head to toe – in any given moment can also work wonders.
The Power of Silence
I’ll admit, this one is hard for me and for most people I know, and I am an introvert! It’s especially challenging when your day-to-day work requires a great deal of verbal communication. However, my husband had to leave town for a couple of days recently and I had the house mostly to myself. (My roomies were a senior dog who groans a lot and a cat who thinks she is a queen but for the most part they were pretty non-demanding of my verbal communication.) I had large chunks of time where I didn’t have to talk and the stillness was, oddly, very freeing and healing. I suppose this is why people attend silence retreats. You don’t have to spend an entire day in silence for this to be effective; rather, just take a few waking hours here and there to be quiet and alone.
Communing with Deity
I used to do this regularly, but with the chaos of the recent months I have gotten out of the habit. At one of my lowest points, I decided to revisit the deity that I serve on a regular basis and who has always had a nurturing energy. I would simply wake up a few minutes early and sit in front of the shrine I had dedicated to this deity and share my fears and feelings. Then, I would listen. Sometimes I would receive helpful information whereas at other times I just felt a calming, loving energy. This is a practice that I am trying to get back to incorporating into my life more consistently.
Back to Basics
I find that sometimes I neglect or forget the power in going back to basics with my healing tools and modalities. I started doing Reiki on myself each morning before I got out of bed and would often work with a crystal or herbal ally to provide me with some peace and clarity. I have also found that scrying with a candle flame was very helpful in stilling my monkey mind and being more centered. Other days, I went outside and hugged a tree. Not only did this help me more gracefully manage change, it also gave me a renewed appreciation for the importance of some of the most basic, yet effective, witchy tools and practices.
Asking for Help
This is another one that is hard for me – and for many people I know – but it is sometimes necessary and is a sign of courage and strength even though society might have us think otherwise. I am a very giving person and yet I try to take very little in return. This is particularly true when it comes to emotional support. When I finally shared with those close to me how I was feeling, the amount of support I received was incredibly touching.
I realized that when you tend to give but rarely take it doesn’t allow for those who care for you to experience the joy that comes with giving. Sharing your vulnerability with others you can trust can result in a stronger bond and even gratitude for both parties. I also highly recommend seeking out mental health help when needed. Finding an insightful counselor who gets me and who I feel comfortable with has provided me with insight and a feeling of groundedness.
Journaling
I realize journaling isn’t for everyone. If you abhor writing but enjoy forms of other creative expression, then the last suggestion might be more in line with what you need. However, if you have never journaled before, I strongly suggest you give it a try. Sometimes just getting my thoughts on paper provides clarity and a sense of relief. Other times, it turns into automatic writing which is usually pretty insightful.
Dream Magick
I have been practicing dream magick for years and consider it one of my most valuable witchy tools. Many famous people – writers, artists, scientists, athletes, and historical figures – have acknowledged the role that dreams have played in their lives, usually in the form of inspiration, problem solving, and finding things or places of importance. When I am feeling stagnant, overwhelmed and/or just need clarity, I will look to my dreams to help me. This can be as simple as repeatedly stating an affirmation before falling asleep or writing down your dream intent and placing under your pillow or on your altar.
Of course, making use of this magick typically requires a willingness to track your dreams (i.e. in a journal or verbally using a voice memo recorder), but I have found this to be an effective way for accessing guidance. If you are new to dream magick, you may have to get into the habit of recording your dreams for a period of time before things start to fall into place. Once you have written down your recollection of your dreams, I recommend taking some time before going back and reading your entries in order to get the best results.
Creative Expression
Creative expression is an amazing method for releasing daunting feelings. Author Christopher Zara asserts that “Great art comes from great pain.” Art – be it through painting, sculpture, dance, music, woodworking or many other creative forms – can transform our pain into something beautiful. Doing this can not only help others who may be suffering (through resonance with the art) but it also gives the creator back some control which is a balm and a tether when our lives feel chaotic and out of our control.
So there, you have it – 10 witchy tips for navigating life’s storms. To all of you who are currently in the midst of a storm, I wish you peace, clarity and healing. I would love to hear what methods have worked for you as well! If you have tools or methods that have worked for you, please feel free to add them in the comments.
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