Unkind words, and sometimes truthful words, can certainly hurt, but what hurts even more is hanging on to the words and that hurtful moment, as if they are ghosts of the past continually haunting you. By replaying it over and over, it becomes poison to your confidence, your self esteem and your soul and causes that grudge and a whole other array of emotion to play with your mind and your heart. It stops people from loving again, trying new things, and growing. Like a butterfly stuck in a mason jar, unable to experience the world, the more that you hold on to the grudge, the more you disassemble your life and your true purpose.
“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people…but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
On this Thanksgiving day, a day known for gratitude, in between the chaos of the cooking and cleaning, take the time to write out your list of resentments. Yep, you heard me right – resentments. It could be that your biggest resentment is you, yourself. In order to make room for love and to be truly thankful you need to remove the hate. It could be that you might even need to email or call the person you are upset with and express your love. This doesn’t mean you have to forgive unacceptable behavior, but you don’t need to wrap that up and hold all negative emotions close. If you don’t like confrontation, or the person you are upset with has crossed over, simply take out a notepad and start writing. You can burn the letter, releasing the bitterness and sadness. As you watch the smoke rise, think about all the hurt and anger being carried away within the smoke. With each breath you take, you release your hurt and disappointment. It isn’t necessarily forgiving or accepting, it is removing the coal from your hand and your heart. Instead of feeling as if you are in pieces, feel the peace that comes from letting go, and it is then that you can see all that you have to be grateful for.
“Appreciation can change a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” – Margaret Cousins
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I have a practice where every single day I sit in *quiet* for a few moments and ponder what I’m grateful for. Even when we are tested and stressed, there’s always something. So as I sat on my comfortable couch, with my loving cats purring next to me, the dogs lapping up water, my dad’s television blasting downstairs, Connor’s fan humming and Chuck humming while decorating the Christmas tree – I didn’t just ponder, I experienced all that I was grateful for. The candles flickering, the smell of the pies in the oven, the heat of the furnace blowing, the song of my text message going off from my daughter in North Carolina and one of my best friends. This year had its share of sadness and its share of blessings, but as I looked at my sorrows, I saw that the blessings outweighed each one of them. So on this day of Thanksgiving I hope you’ll remember that every day is thanksgiving. It might not include turkey or pie, but it does include blessings. Every single day. Thank you for being part of my blessings! From our home to yours – HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Believe,
Kristy Robinett
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