Queen of Regret

Queen of Regret June 1, 2016

queenIt was four in the morning on Memorial Day when I woke up to excruciating pain in my mouth and face. After taking a Motrin and using essential oils I tried to go back to sleep, but the constant pulsing made it next to impossible.

“What’s wrong?” my husband asked, rousing from his own slumber.

“I don’t know. A toothache I think,” I said trying not to cry at the throbbing in my mouth, ear and sinuses.

Always on a holiday, I thought. We had plans to go for a drive by the water with friends and there wasn’t any way I was going to disappoint them. The trooper that I am went, all the while scared out of my mind and wanting to just pull my tooth. All of my teeth. Now mind you I’m petrified of dentists. When I was a young girl I had a dentist pretty much sit on me and fill a cavity without any Novocain. Although I go, I shake like a leaf. I always found it ironic that I gave birth to a son with a cleft palate which equated to tons of dental appointments and mouth surgeries. He, on the other hand, would rather get a filling without any numbing. I can’t believe he’s my son. Anyhow, I digress. I’m not even sure how I got through Monday, but I sat by the phone on Tuesday morning waiting for a dentist office to open. Thankfully they told me to come right in. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even think how afraid I was. After a quick decision to pull the back molar, lots of numbing, no more pain, and then no more tooth, I was back home laying on the couch. Until I had a bit of a dental emergency again (I will spare you the details) and I was back up at the dentist getting sutured this time, and then again on the couch with a paperback book and heavy eyes.

When you go through a health issue I find it amazing how your vibration dips down and the door opens for the Queen of Regrets to show up to try and have a party at your expense. Kind of like an outspoken grandmother who wants to remind you of your faults and all the dreams that you haven’t accomplished. I was sound asleep when she showed up. I mean, really. I was puffy, bruised and couldn’t speak, but she had the gall to want to talk to me. It went a bit like this:

Queen of Regrets: I thought you wanted to open a boutique. What happened to that? Or a diner. Remember when you wanted to do that? You do make great baked goods, though. And then I remember you saying you were going to write for a magazine. Maybe even own a magazine. Ha. Own a magazine! You’re funny, Kristy. Oh, oh…remember when you said you were going to write books for a living?

Me: I do write. I wrote over a dozen and I’ve written hundreds of articles for various magazines and blogs.

Queen of Regrets: That’s cute. Remember your dream about owning a farmhouse? How’s that going for you?

Me: I can’t do this with you right now.

Queen of Regrets: How’s that television show you were supposed to get? Oh, that’s right…no television show.

Me: Honestly, I wasn’t thrilled with an idea of the show they offered.

Queen of Regrets: That’s cute how you’ve justified it all. How’s your fiction series coming?

Me: Slowly, but it’s coming. Wait, enough of trying to make me feel down about my life.

Queen of Regrets: Honey, that’s called regret and I’m the Queen. I’m here to remind you that you should be further along in your journey than you are. You should be wealthier, prettier, skinnier, happier, and oh, remember when you turned that offer down two years ago? That project was so successful for her! Did you know if you’d kept putting money in your retirement you’d have, gosh, a lot of money? Oh, remember all that time you wasted….?

Yep, the Queen of Regret can happen anytime, but especially when you allow the time and the space for it to occupy your thought patterns. It took me a couple minutes to realize by me not feeling well I was allowing the negative to creep in. But is shutting her down really helping anything, or could it be helping? I mean, she kind of tells the truth, right? She’s the one who tells your rear end looks large in those pants when your rear end does look large in the pants!

Last week I had a client who had a ses ion just to verify that she would go to heaven if she ended her life; something she was determined to do when she got home from her session. I talked her into letting me call for help, and although I became the hated one, she left on her own with the first responders to start her healing. Although she has a long journey, she’s still on it and I’m thankful for that. I realized that when the Queen of Regret visited me, that she sure makes her rounds and my suicidal client had eaten up and believed what she was served. It didn’t make her crazy. It didn’t make me crazy. It made us human. I shared the experience on social media with hopes of helping others and received a private message from someone who told me I was a psycho and that if she wanted to end her life I should’ve let her. There’s empathy for you.

Kristen Bell recently shared her own mental health journey here. “It’s a knee-jerk reaction to judge people when they’re vulnerable. But there’s nothing weak about struggling with mental illness.”

The vibration humming in the Universe has been brutal, especially for those who are empathic. War, murder, plane crashes, and well, I don’t need to air the laundry list of life. With the upcoming New Moon it can make many feel even more insecure, depressed and moody, and as we head into the weekend we may have to consciously work at getting ourselves unstuck.

I explained last week on Facebook that we are in this together. This crazy life thing that we all try and figure out, well nobody has it all figured out and don’t believe someone who tells you they have. We all may have pieces of it, but just when you think you are walking on steady ground an earthquake comes. And that’s okay, because there’s people who love and believe in you and who can help you up when you think you can’t do it anymore.  Just know that there are those who like to overextend their welcome – like the Queen of Regret.

7 Ways to Get Unstuck

Get Moving – Literally: Take a 10 minute walk, sign up for a Pilates or yoga class, remove the laundry from your treadmill in the basement.  Just do something to, as my husband would say, blow the emotional stink off of you.

Write It Down: Get out a piece of paper and write down all the things that you feel are going wrong. Then rip it up.  Feel the energy of all that is wrong evaporate.

Go for a Drive: Hop in the car, roll down the windows and put on your favorite {happy} tunes and sing as loud as you can! Did you know that singing helps to re-align your Chakras?

Talk to Your Angels/Guides/Loves Ones on the Other Side: They really want to help, but they need the invitation and sometimes a direction. You can speak out loud, in your head, or by writing it down – it doesn’t really matter, but delegate out your problems.

Light a Candle: We light candles for celebrations, including birthdays and religious ceremonies and while doing so, we create intent and affirm what we want as we light the wick.

Grab some Crystals: Crystals have a vibration that helps give you that little push up. Some crystals that are good when you are in a funk include: Smoky Quartz, Rose Quartz, Amethyst, Lepidolite, Sunstone, or Carnelian. You can just put them in your pocket, hold on to them while you meditate or set them near you on your bedside or work desk.

Go to Sleep:Often life looks gloomier when you are sleep deprived. If you can’t head back to bed, spend  10 minutes taking deep breathes and re-centering yourself, clearing the cache of your mind –followed up by drinking a glass (or two or three) of water.

I believe in you!

Kristy Robinett


"Figure it out."

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