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An Open Letter to the Homophobes and Bigots

An Open Letter to the Homophobes and Bigots June 4, 2021

Dear Christian Haters, Bigots, and Homophobes,

Forgive me if this letter comes across as nothing but a jumbled mess, a stream of consciousness better fit for a journal than anything else. But, given that this is my first Pride Month as an openly bisexual man, I didn’t want to hold in what I am feeling nor let those of you who continue to demonize us off the hook for the harm you have caused and continue to cause people whom you claim to love. I will always accept that we are different. I will always accept that our worldviews are different, that our theology is different, that our philosophy is different. What I will not accept, however, is the blatant, disgusting, and satanic accusations that continue to be leveled at the LGBTQ+ community for no other reason than to feed all of your own flagrant ignorance and fear-soaked appetites.

Of course, you can either believe the countless testimonies of this community or not, but let’s not pretend this is something that it is not. If you want to live your lives like ostriches, with heads firmly buried in the sand of perpetual ignorance, by all means do that; but please don’t then tell us that you love us. Love’s basic “ingredients,” if you will, are empathy and compassion. To date, you’ve shown none of either. What you all are essentially doing is trying to make cookies without either flour or eggs, and then calling your pile of granularity a “cookie.” But those aren’t cookies. It’s just a mess on the top of your hard-hearted countertops.

I know fundamentalists like you continue to see yourselves as victims of that which you most assuredly don’t understand, but I fail to understand why you would choose to sacrifice yourselves on the altar of your martyr complex. For claiming the name “Jesus,” it really doesn’t seem like you have any regard for what this man, Jesus, was all about. He was a question asker; you are finger pointers. He was full of compassion; you are full of malice and contempt. He was an agent of reconciliation; you are sowing the seeds of division and hate, all the while ironically claiming love as your northern star.

In spite of all of your unfair and grotesque caricaturizations of us, does this mean reconciliation can’t happen? Of course not. Most of us are always open to reconciliation. But this is a two-way street and I don’t yet even see most of you on the sidewalk. In order to have a relationship with us, you have to bring more than contempt and ignorance to the table. You have to actually attempt to get to know us, because if you did, you’d quickly realize how ridiculous most of your statements about us are. They would be laughable if they weren’t so hurtful and harmful.

So, why don’t you try putting your Christian money where your false-pious mouths are and show us some Jesus? Trade in your desire to be the accuser for your desire to be like Christ. Then we can talk. Until then, I’m going to continue to do my best to love others as Christ first loved me in spite of the fact that you choose not to. Trust me when I say this: Most people are very easy to love. Maybe someday you’ll agree with me.

Pridefully Yours,

Matthew J. Distefano


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About Matthew Distefano
Matthew is a best-selling author, blogger, podcaster, long-time social worker, and hip-hop artist. He is an outspoken advocate for nonviolence, happily married, with one daughter. Outside of writing, his interests include gardening, hiking, and European football. He lives in Northern California You can read more about the author here.

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