Please don’t get me wrong; I love sex. It feels amazing. It’s a great way for my wife and I to connect physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And did I mention that it feels amazing? But holy crap are there some sex-obsessed Christians out there!
Last week, we at the Heretic Happy Hour podcast received 52 voicemails from one listener on our hotline. Fifty. F***ing. Two. At roughly 3 minutes per voicemail, that comes in at over 2 and a half hours of voicemail footage. That’s two entire episodes! Plus bonus content for Patreon. The topic of most of the content? Two things: Cussing and S-E-X.
Now, while it is true that we occasionally talk about sex on the podcast, most of our content is not about it. Sure, we’ve had episodes on purity culture, what healthy sex looks like, and things like that. But for the most part, out of the over 100 episodes we have recorded, probably 95% of them aren’t about sex. But that didn’t stop our “pal” from fixating on the issue.
Why is this?
Well, I’m not entirely sure. I could take a guess and suggest it’s all projection. That is to say, he’s denouncing the things he wishes he could engage in. In one voicemail, he went on and on about how the four hosts of the podcast should have a live show, replete with strippers and an orgy. He droned on and on for nearly an hour about how we affirm “homosexuality, bisexualism, transgenderism, and lesbianism,” which made me think that he is protesting too much. Way too much, if you catch my meaning.
Now, could these voicemails just be the product of one raving madman? Perhaps. But they seem to follow a pattern of behavior found in today’s churches. All too often, in spite of all the litany of issues facing our country and our world, certain Christians seem fixated on what people are doing with their genitalia. Instead of worrying about whether people in sexual relationships are happy and content, they focus solely on the “working parts” of the members. Are there two penises involved? Two vaginas? Is that penis getting near that anus? Is there a ring on that finger? It’s as if questions like these are what’s really important.
For the sake of argument, let’s assume that these questions are vitally important. Let’s assume that both experience and Scripture make it abundantly clear that what really matters is if sex is within the confines of a State-sponsored contract and within the context of heteronormativity. The question still remains: Why in the actual f*** are Christians so concerned about what OTHERS are doing in their bedrooms? Why don’t they just concern themselves with their own lives and stop worrying about what the big, bad “sinful” world is up to?
All this makes me think that they don’t have access to the same Bible as me. It’s as if Jesus never told us to see the sins of others as mere specks while viewing our own sin as a plank. It’s as if Paul never said that by our own judgement we condemn ourselves. It’s as if all the judgment verses were replaced with verses about what not to do with your genitals.
I mean, I’m not one to tell others what to do, but I’m convinced the guy who spent over 2 hours leaving voicemail after voicemail on our hotline must have better ways to spend his time. Further, I’m guessing he at minimum dabbles in sin. Do we not all fall short of the glory of God? Is it not a tenet of the faith to see ourselves as sinners, too? Then why are so many Christians obsessed with the so-called sins of others? Again, I can only speculate. All y’all judgmental, sex-obsessed Christians would have to answer that for yourselves.
As for me, I’m going to worry about my own sex life. If I do give advice regarding sex, it has nothing to do with which parts you’re working with. My concern would be more about your psychology. Are you happy with this person? Have you both psychologically differentiated? Is there mutual respect and admiration? Questions like these.
But again . . . most of my energy isn’t spent on sex. Sure, it’s important. I think about sex perhaps as much as any other man does. But it’s not an obsession. And I’m certainly not all that concerned about what YOU are up to in your bedroom. I’ve got other things to spend my time on. And so should you, “pal.”
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