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Jon Kent, Son of Superman, Comes Out As Bisexual

Jon Kent, Son of Superman, Comes Out As Bisexual October 11, 2021

I’m sure you’ve heard the news: Jon Kent, son of Clark Kent – you know him as Superman – is bisexual.

Cool.

I suppose.

I don’t know, but I’m just not really into comic books, nor do I particularly care about the sexuality of fictional characters in general. I’m not a part of the LGBTQ crowd who personally needs a fictional character to identify with. I mean, if you are, then great. It’s just not something I, as an openly bisexual man, personally need.

Different strokes for different folks (pun intended).

What I do enjoy – and you can call me a terrible person, that’s fine – is watching ignorant, closeminded bigots squirm any time something makes them uncomfortable. This will assuredly be one of those instances, because you damn-well know a whole bunch of Conservative Christians are going to be up in arms about this recent development. You know, because who the son of Superman is attracted to is of utmost importance. I’m sure Tucker Carlson will be all over this “news” in an upcoming installment of his Fox News show, “Conservative Outrage Porn with Tucker ‘My face constantly looks like I just learned what a blow job is’ Carlson.”

Bring the popcorn, because I’m certain you’ll hear something like, “Have you heard the latest? The socialist, liberal Marxists who push the LGBTQ agenda have now turned Superman gay.”

Boy oh boy, I can almost hear it now.

But here’s the deal: No one makes someone gay (except for maybe David Beckham). Or bi. Or whatever. The reality of the matter, and what happens more often than not, is that unless you are a super feminine guy, or really masculine gal, you are assumed to be straight. That’s called heteronormative, and it’s a bit of a problem. Newsflash: Not all us queers fit the stereotypes. In a “straight is normal” kind of culture, I totally pass for straight. I’ve been called derogatory slurs to the contrary, but for the most part pass as straight, even when people don’t know I’m married to a woman. So that’s just what is going on here. Superman, as well as his son, are assumed to be straight. Superheroes must be. They are kick-ass alphas. They can’t find other dudes attractive! Gross!

Because that is the assumption, when something like this happens, certain people lose their minds. They just can’t accept anything other than heteronormative, so they go on their stupid-ass talk shows and show the world just how dumb they are.

I’m looking forward to being proven right, at 8 PM EST, or whenever Tucker or Sean or Judge Whatever Her Name Is go live on Faux News.


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About Matthew J. Distefano
Matthew J. Distefano is the author of multiple books, a podcaster, social worker, and hip-hop artist. He lives in Northern California with his wife and daughter. You can read more about the author here.

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