Major Announcement!: I Have A New Bio

Major Announcement!: I Have A New Bio January 24, 2023

I’ve been writing for Patheos for a couple years. All in all, it’s been fantastic. I’ve met a lot of great people. I’ve also met a lot of Christians who don’t think too highly of me. I’m especially grateful for them because without their wise words and uplifting message of Jesus-centric love, I wouldn’t be able to share my new bio with you all.

So, without further ado, here it is:

“Matthew J. Distefano is an author, podcaster, audio engineer, fool, and Professor of Word Vomit who happily worships his own wide, diseased asshole. While it is obvious he hates God, Jesus, and Scripture, he still refuses to repent. As a cloud devoid of rain, he is the worst type of Christian, making money by lying to people and deceiving them into a false sense of security. 9 out of 10 statements he makes are lies. In fact, all he is is a liar. Though much of what he writes is akin to toilet paper, he continues to take his marching orders from Satan, proving that he is nothing but a fraudulent poofter bastard. Hell is the place he will end up in for spreading his B.S. When he stands in front of God, he probably won’t ever be smiling again, and though he thinks he is funny, as a leftwing wimp, he definitely doesn’t have as big a penis as a conservative man. Check him out at”

So again, thanks! Keep ’em coming, and maybe this bio can grow in stature (unlike certain leftist body parts).






Also, if you’ve been digging my work on here, and want to see me be able to continue writing as close to full-time as humanly possible, please take a look at my Patreon page at Even $1 a month helps bigly!

About Matthew J. Distefano
Matthew J. Distefano is an author, blogger, podcaster, and social worker. He lives in Northern California with his wife and daughter. You can read more about the author here.
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