A lot of people reading this are not going to agree with me. Some of you will be out-and-out furious with what I have to say. But I’ve never been one to shy away from controversy and I’m not going to start now.
The song W.A.P. by Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion, aside from being an absolute bop, is women’s liberation at its finest. Sure, it’s full of vulgarity and raunchiness. White evangelicals will squirm in their pews upon listening. Conservative politicians will consider placing a ban on it. But isn’t that kind of the point? Isn’t the point to make certain people feel uncomfortable? That’s often the hallmark of good art, to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.
Obviously, if you’re a hip-hop head like me, the point of this song is crystal clear. Generally speaking (and not just in hip-hop, but everywhere), it’s men (often but not always white) who are allowed to “behave badly.” After all, do we not live in a culture who rewards promiscuous straight white men with titles like “hustler” and “baller,” while calling the same type of women “slutty” and “skanky?” Oh, and let’s not pretend women of color aren’t treated even worse! If this was a song by a man about how desirable his penis is, we probably wouldn’t even be talking about it. But because it’s a song by two women of color, it still causes waves (even on my Facebook page as of late). And let’s be real: I’m sure Ben Shapiro is still hot and bothered by it (probably in more way than one, though he wouldn’t admit it).
Anyway, while I was within the stifling confines of evangelicalism, it was always assumed that men would be nasty. We weren’t supposed to be, but it was assumed that we would “fall short.” Women, on the other hand, were held to a much higher standard. Fall short, and they would be called “used goods,” or, heaven forbid, what our youth pastor once said, “an already licked lollipop.” Gross, dude. Just gross.
Cardi and Megan just flip this B.S. on its head. And they do so by making some of us uncomfortable. While so much of our culture is centered on men bragging about how many women they’ve slept with (I realize the reality is that most hip-hop is not actually like this, but bear with me), Cardi and Megan flip the script. It’s the two of them who become the braggadocios ones, not the men. It’s a gender role reversal, and I’m here for all of it. When Megan says, “when I ride the d***, I’ma spell my name,” she is staking claim to the man she is sleeping with, whereas the general cultural assumption is that it’s the man’s job to do this. And we don’t even need to be talking about sex here. Historically, we could be talking about land ownership (if you’re white), voting (if you’re white), running for President (if you’re white), etc. (if you’re white). The cultural assumption has always been that it’s a (straight white) man’s world. Megan is just saying, “hold on now…”
In reality, this is what people find offensive. Because let’s keep it all the way 100. We all want to have sex in the way Cardi and Megan talk about having sex. There’s not a man alive that I’ve met who doesn’t want what they are talking about. The offense, then, is that they are talking about it. They are women. And Black (Cardi is also Dominican)! And that’s what offends people, not the things they talk about (which is really what all of us desire for our own sex lives).
This is the precise reason we need art like this. Art should be shocking. When Cardi talks about having a certain body part touching “that dangly thing that swings in the back of my throat,” some of us are shocked. How can a woman say this? How can a Black woman say this? My response is…exactly! The fact that people are offended may in fact be the point. Often, we prove people’s points for them by our actions. This is such a case.
So, my advice is to ask yourself why you are offended by art like this. Is it because you really don’t think people should behave like this? If your wife started spelling her name with her hips as she rides you tonight, are you going to say, “hold on dear…the Lord wouldn’t like that,” or are you going to enjoy yourself? Since we all know it’s the latter, why are you then mad if a woman of color decides to create an absolute banger that I to this day can’t get out of my head? It seems more about your particular sensibilities, perhaps one rooted in a white supremacist, patriarchal culture that wouldn’t give two sh*ts if a man was talking.
Think about that. Or, don’t. I’ma get back to this track, ’cause sometimes it’s funny to drive by the church I used to attend, knowing that what’s coming out the Bang & Olufsen speakers would absolutely trigger them.
Peace.
Also, if you’ve been digging my work on here, and want to see me be able to continue writing as close to full-time as humanly possible, please take a look at my Patreon page at www.patreon.com/mjdistefano. Even $1 a month helps bigly!
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