Well, well, well. I was all set, pumped up, ready to engage in what I can only imagine would have been the debate of the century (at least in my own mind): “Does the Bible Condemn Practicing Homosexuality?” Yes, you heard that right. I, Matthew J. Distefano, a queer-affirming, divine-violence-denying, post-Christian Universalist (not sure if you’ve heard, but I wrote a book), was invited to debate some Christian who thought I needed to be enlightened about how the Bible condemns my existence. Riveting stuff, right?
Now, I’ve debated before, so naturally, I accepted the challenge. And because I take these matters seriously—affirming queer folks like myself is kind of important—I spent hours upon hours in preparation. Because that’s what you do when you take people seriously, even if the topic itself is as tired as, say, listening to a televangelist preach on “manhood” for the thousandth time.
But guess what? Apparently, taking things seriously was a mistake on my part.
First of all, this was going to take place on Discord. Oh yes, Discord—the Wild West of online “communication.” I’m no Discord expert, but I figured, “Hey, how hard could it be to set up a debate on there?” Famous last words. After weeks of back-and-forths, waiting, and wondering, “Is this thing even happening?” I finally met with one of the Discord channel admins. This should have cleared things up, right?
Wrong.
This admin proceeds to tell me—and I’m quoting here—“It looks like he fucked you over.” Now, I don’t know about you, but when an admin of the actual server tells me I’ve been screwed over, I tend to believe them. Crazy, I know. But alas, naïve me still thought there was hope. Maybe I could work this out and get some clarity.
I mean, all I was trying to do was understand how this debate was supposed to function, seeing as I’d never used Discord for a formal debate before. But apparently, that’s asking too much. Silly me for thinking clarity was an option.
So, like any rational human being, I took this information to the host—the one who invited me in the first place. You know, because Christians are supposed to communicate truthfully, right? (Spoiler alert: the 9th Commandment says something about bearing false witness, but I digress.) When I told the host what the admin said, I expected a moment of understanding. Maybe even an apology for the confusion. Or, I don’t know, accountability?
Instead, the host accused me of lying. You know, because it makes so much sense for me to spend countless hours preparing for a debate, all to fabricate a story for some Discord drama. That’s what I’m all about: stirring up trouble for no reason and wasting my own time.
Apparently, I’m just supposed to forget that the admin—the very one running the channel—told me “he fucked you over.” No, no, let’s ignore that part. Instead, let’s go straight to me being the problem. Right. That makes sense in some alternate universe where gaslighting is a fruit of the Spirit.
Christians, I’m told, aren’t supposed to lie. Again, “Thou shalt not bear false witness,” right? But hey, apparently we’re just tossing that one out the window for the sake of protecting fragile egos. Because why would we want to prioritize truth when it’s so much more fun to call people liars for daring to ask basic questions like, “How is this debate supposed to work?”
At this point, I could go on about how all this reflects a much bigger problem within certain Christian spaces—where transparency is about as welcome as a rainbow flag at a Westboro protest. But really, what’s the point? It’s just more of the same, isn’t it? Ignore the truth. Pretend like you’re the victim. Call the other person a liar when they point out your nonsense. Lather, rinse, repeat.
So no, I won’t be debating on whether the Bible condemns “practicing homosexuality”–what a stupid phrasing of the question! Not because I’m afraid of the debate, mind you—oh no, I live for these conversations. But because I’m not about to waste any more of my time on people who can’t even figure out how to tell the truth, let alone host a coherent debate.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do. Like writing books and producing podcasts that actually help people instead of engaging in the kind of drama that’s better suited for a reality TV show or Donald Trump rally than a meaningful discussion about human dignity.
PICK UP MY NEW BOOK, HERETIC, TOO!, OUT NOW.
Also, if you’ve been digging my work on here, and want to see me be able to continue writing as close to full-time as humanly possible, please take a look at my Patreon page at www.patreon.com/mjdistefano. Even $1 a month helps bigly!
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