John Wesley

To his Brother Charles

WHITEHAVEN, June 27, 1766.

DEAR BROTHER, – I think you and I have abundantly too little intercourse with each other. Are we not old acquaintances Have we not known each other for half a century and are we not jointly engaged in such a work as probably no two other men upon earth are Why, then, do we keep at such a distance It is a mere device of Satan. But surely we ought not at this time of day to be ignorant of his devices. Let us therefore make the full use of the little time that remains. We at least should think aloud and use to the uttermost the light and grace on each bestowed. We should help each other,

Of little life the best to make,

And manage wisely the last stake. [Anacreon’s Age. Cowley’s translation.]

In one of my last I was saying I do not feel the wrath of God abiding on me; nor can I believe it does. And yet (this is the mystery) [I do not love God. I never did]. Therefore [I never] believed in the Christian sense of the word.

Therefore [I am only an] honest heathen, a proselyte of the Temple, one of the foboumenoi Qeon. [‘Those that fear God.’]And yet to be so employed of God! and so hedged in that I can neither get forward nor backward! Surely there never was such an instance before, from the beginning of the world! If I [ever have had] that faith, it would not be so strange. But [I never had any] other elegcos of the eternal or invisible world than [I have] now; and that is [none at all], unless such as fairly shines from reason’s glimmering ray. [I have no] direct witness, I do not say that [I am a child of God], but of anything invisible or eternal.

And yet I dare not preach otherwise than I do, either concerning faith, or love, or justification, or perfection. And yet I find rather an increase than a decrease of zeal for the whole work of God and every part of it. I am feromenos, [‘Borne along.’] I know not how, that I can’t stand still. I want all the world to come to on ouk oida. [‘What I do not know.’] Neither am I impelled to this by fear of any kind. I have no more fear than love. Or if I have [any fear, it is not that of falling] into hell but of falling into nothing.

(Resource: http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1766b/)