Our Evangelical Misconception Of Grace, Mercy, And Forgiveness

**This form of grace transcends and, therefore, centers the abused…**

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inconceivable-grace-andy-gill-patheos — This post was supposed to be “Part II” of my first post titled “Inconceivable Grace” – just felt like changing the title up.

At the core of abuse is manipulation.

The two most powerful forms of emotional manipulation have been tied mostly to fear and shame.

You see, abusers typically don’t choose their victims because they were boys; they chose them because they were vulnerable and banked on fear and shame to keep them silent…

In other words, there is typically this disgusting pathology of “perceived entitlement to possess power and control over other human beings…”

While, a costly form of grace allows an abusive person (man or woman that’s a psychopath, megalomaniac, anti-social, etc.) to see through, admit to, and repent of their own abusive tendencies; correct me if I’m wrong but, usually, this will not lead to them getting back into a position of power (more on this below).

But, while to those unabused congregants who still can’t imagine an “Andy Savage” raping a young woman, this form of costly grace then gives understanding and compassion by seeing through unconscious bias. For example, interestingly enough, while women are largely thought to be, many times, the primary victims this should never negate the fact that men are also victims. Just think of how many priests have wrongfully abused men… Interestingly enough, research supports our unconscious bias’ that lead to wrongfully assuming men are the primary abusers:

“Women can get away with certain crimes more than men because society is less likely to expect certain antisocial or violent behaviors among them. [Research] found that young women who later develop the disorder show a more relational form of aggression characterized by jealousy, self-harm, manipulation, and verbal aggression.” She goes on to highlight and give an example of how this form of abuse can be far more sublte, “Think of a seemingly kind older female nurse who cares for a sick man. This woman could well be a psychopath but her presentation as an older woman in a helping profession causes others to see her in a benevolent light.”

This form of grace does NOT mean we reinstate these pastors

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It shouldn’t just be a pause in their careers where, in the end, they get a book deal from writing about their “experience.”

That’s not a punishment, that’s a paid sabbatical.

If they later seek out various other forms of power then, it puts into question whether or not they’re repeating a cycle…

In fact, this form of costly grace in which leads into an act of repentance which would spur on an understanding, within the abuser, that they most likely need to pick up their crosses and start walking – And, when they’re done, they need to go and pick up someone else’s cross and help bear each others burdens.

It’s a major red-flag, if they repent, and then, expect their process of redemption to conclude with their reinstatement as pastors, leaders, or even as authors.

If you’re a pastor who’s favorite part of the week is preaching then you probably should have never chosen to pastor. Why? Because pastoring is servant-leadership. Far too many times, it’s been mistaken for a back-road leading into fame and riches.

You know this by their actions; these men, many times, don’t choose this position to serve; they choose this position for power.

Conclusion

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The entire narrative and overall arc of scripture are one in the same: In that, God is one who liberates the oppressed person, entire communities and eventually redeems our whole world. He gives voice to the voiceless, he defends the defenseless, empowers the powerless, and his love, grace, and mercy transcend the depths of our worlds bullshit (which is saying something).

Grace heals the broken-hearted. It gives wings to all those who are weak and weary allowing them to sore like eagles.

The anger we feel from abusive women and men, it’s too heavy of a burden to carry.

Grace relieves us of this burden that comes from unforgiveness.

Grace centers the abused, downtrodden, poor, and those without power.

I can’t wait for the day until we no longer need to differentiate between grace and costly grace…

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