6 Things I want my Future Daughter-in-Law to Know: An Open Letter

6 Things I want my Future Daughter-in-Law to Know: An Open Letter April 23, 2015



Dear Future Daughter-in-Law,

Wherever you are in the world, I want you to know that I can’t wait to meet you, and you are already loved by our family.

From the moment our son was born, we not only prayed for him, but we prayed specifically for you.  We know that God has amazing plans in store for both of you someday.  As we all patiently wait for that glorious day you two walk down the aisle, your father-in-law and I want you to know a few things:

1.  When you marry our son, you will be more than an “in-law”; you will be our DAUGHTER.

We firmly believe that when two people fall in love and join each other in a marriage covenant that two truly become ONE.  You will instantly become not only our son’s precious wife but our daughter too.  We don’t see you as just a girl who is legally  wedded to our son; we see you as his chosen beautiful bride for life.

Genesis 2:22-23 (NLT)

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”

2. We support you in your autonomy as a couple.

To put this plainly, I want to resist being “all up in your business”.  When you two marry, you become your own family.  Your father-in-law and I want to support you two wholeheartedly in any way we can, but we also want to respect your privacy and have healthy boundaries in place.  I promise we will call before we come over and try to only offer advice when you ask for it.

Genesis 2:24 (NLT)

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

3.  We want to be a blessing to you!

More than anything, we want to bless you and our son as much as we possibly can.  God has so graciously blessed us with the two of you, and we want to be a blessing right back.  In-laws get such a negative stigma sometimes, but we don’t want to be that stereotype at all.  We are for you all, not against you!  You can come to us for anything.

1 Chronicles 17:27 (NLT)

27 And now, it has pleased you to bless the house of your servant, so that it will continue forever before you. For when you grant a blessing, O Lord, it is an eternal blessing!”

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • z–man

    My father-in-law is not my “friend”. He’s my father-in-law. And I’m fine with that.

  • ashleywillis4

    To each their own 🙂 Thanks for reading and responding.

  • CnS

    This is beautifully written!
    It is unfortunate that not all of us end up with the relationship (with our mother-in-law) that we had hoped and prayed for.
    Your daughter in law will certinaly welcome phone calls rather than ‘just showing up’, privacy and respect for their marriage (and how they choose to raise their children); As well as having someone who wants to shop or have brunch and phone conversations with her.

  • ihatedana

    If only. I’d move across country to escape my monster in law. 🙂

  • Dave Again

    Supporting the autonomy of the couple. Excellent. If both husband and wife are atheists, they will have your support. Again excellent.

  • Nancy-Justin Westall

    This a great article. Thank you. Gives me a lot to consider as my boys are testing the waters of commitment. I don’t have daughters so I’m looking forward to the opportunity to experience this. Any advice is only a bonus.